Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 20, 2026, 4:52 am
Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Why not Dodekatheism?

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Why not Dodekatheism?
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 184
#1
Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm
Why not Dodekatheism? Why haven't you accepted dodekatheism as the one true faith with the many true gods?

Aether keeps the lights on for you.

Ananke gives you that OCD

Aphrodite has a lovely smile and she loves you. She encourages love and pleasure.

Apollo promotes music, arts, knowledge, healing, plague, prophecy, poetry, manly beauty, archery, and the sun.

Ares is a god of war. He will help you kick serious ass. All this in the buff.

Artemis this chick knows how to hunt, how to get young girls, give people the plague, and she controls the moon. She's pretty damn cool.

Athena will be your personal diplomat. Plus she has those pretty grey eyes.

Chaos well nothing would exist without that dude.

Chronos is your holy pocket watch.

Demeter well she'll keep your weed growin Wink

Dionysus keeps your liquor cup full, feel free to label him your beer bitch, he won't mind really.

Erebus he's like the god of Halloween or some shit Tongue

Eros will tell you what to say to get laid.

Hades/Pluto is all about regrets, and who doesn't have those right?

Hephaestus he's got your crafts covered and is especially good at welding.

Hera will help you get a wife/husband and some babies.

Hermes is super helpful, he knows all about boundaries, travel, communication, trade, language, and writing.

Hestia well she's a young pretty virgin what more can I say.

Hypnos is the holy sandman.

Poseidon keeps your surf waves high.

Tartarus well that guy is scary as fuck but he's pretty cool still.

Zeus has that lightning thingy what's cooler than that?

These aren't even all. Do you need something? There's a god for that.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
********
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 36019
Threads: 210
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#2
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm
Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 184
#3
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:02 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm)Beccs Wrote: Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Well I learned a lot in the last few hours. I couldn't learn all the gods because it takes too long, but I'm converting anyways. Best religion ever.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 155
#4
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:09 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm)Beccs Wrote: Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Interestingly, you can remove about the middle half of that sentence and it would still apply beautifully.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
MTL Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: Agnostic, Antitheist
Posts: 1587
Threads: 21
Joined: June 13, 2015
Reputation: 26
#5
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:11 pm (This post was last modified: October 21, 2015 at 3:16 pm by MTL.)
(October 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm)Losty Wrote:



These aren't even all. Do you need something? There's a god for that.

 Yes, but is there an App for that?
Find
Reply
Jenny A Offline
Our Dog is a Jealous Dog
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 5706
Threads: 67
Joined: June 13, 2014
Reputation: 69
#6
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:09 pm)Stimbo Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm)Beccs Wrote: Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Interestingly, you can remove about the middle half of that sentence and it would still apply beautifully.

Losty would like that. Big Grin
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god.  If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 184
#7
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm (This post was last modified: October 21, 2015 at 3:15 pm by Losty.)
(October 21, 2015 at 3:11 pm)MTL Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm)Losty Wrote:

Do you need something? There's a god for that.

 Yes, but is there an App for that?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 184
#8
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:15 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm)Jenny A Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:09 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Interestingly, you can remove about the middle half of that sentence and it would still apply beautifully.

Losty would like that. Big Grin

As if it wasn't already the case Shy
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
MTL Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: Agnostic, Antitheist
Posts: 1587
Threads: 21
Joined: June 13, 2015
Reputation: 26
#9
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:16 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm)Losty Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:11 pm)MTL Wrote:  Yes, but is there an App for that?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8

smartiepants.
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 184
#10
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:21 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:16 pm)MTL Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm)Losty Wrote: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8

smartiepants.

Just making sure you have access to the Truth Angel
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Why not Dodekatheism?

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  why not religionism ? WinterHold 63 13721 April 7, 2021 at 3:42 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Why garden and not whole world? Fake Messiah 14 5248 March 21, 2019 at 12:02 pm
Last Post: Drich
  Why the Texas shooting is not evil, based on the bible Face2face 56 27243 November 16, 2017 at 7:21 am
Last Post: Little Rik
  Why Jesus is not the messiah. Creed of Heresy 59 24964 December 30, 2016 at 5:27 pm
Last Post: Egyptian
  Theist "Why I am not an atheist"..... Jackie 5 2653 May 2, 2016 at 9:10 pm
Last Post: Jackie
  I don't understand, why do Christians not like Masturbation or porn GoHalos1993 97 30963 December 14, 2015 at 2:35 pm
Last Post: Whateverist
  Christians - even the Bible says that Jesus was not God so why do you say he was ? jenny1972 299 99653 November 3, 2015 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: jenny1972
  Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster Rampant.A.I. 67 24587 July 25, 2015 at 5:40 am
Last Post: robvalue
  Why I think atheists should not reject all religious text. boothj1985 65 25231 December 7, 2014 at 4:53 pm
Last Post: Nope
  Why do religions not have share holders? Rabb Allah 2 1760 March 19, 2014 at 2:16 pm
Last Post: FifthElement



Users browsing this thread: