Considering your favorite topic here on these forums I have upwards of 10 jokes about "praying on knees" and "giving yourself over to the spirit"
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Increased door-knocking...
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RE: Increased door-knocking...
April 20, 2011 at 10:12 am
(This post was last modified: April 20, 2011 at 10:19 am by Ace Otana.)
(April 20, 2011 at 10:04 am)thesummerqueen Wrote: Considering your favorite topic here on these forums I have upwards of 10 jokes about "praying on knees" and "giving yourself over to the spirit" Really. I've heard a good few prayer jokes. Especially when it comes to Muslims.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan
Mankind's intelligence walks hand in hand with it's stupidity. Being an atheist says nothing about your overall intelligence, it just means you don't believe in god. Atheists can be as bright as any scientist and as stupid as any creationist. You never really know just how stupid someone is, until you've argued with them.
We had a first the other day. My wife opened a letter that turned out to be from some jehovah witness shitball ASKING if they could come talk to us about fucking jesus ( my editorializing there.)
Either the bastards are getting lazy or they are getting tired of having doors slammed in their faces. Anyway, my wife shit-canned it so they wasted 42 cents there. (April 20, 2011 at 12:35 pm)Minimalist Wrote: We had a first the other day. My wife opened a letter that turned out to be from some jehovah witness shitball ASKING if they could come talk to us about fucking jesus ( my editorializing there.) Fucking religious spam. What a waste of man hours and money.
The post office needs the money.
I've instilled a sense of complete frustration and utter dejection in every religious door knocker such that I never see any of them again. As a result I have not been bothered, except with cowardly pamphlet under the door, for over 3 years.
RE: Increased door-knocking...
April 20, 2011 at 2:09 pm
(This post was last modified: April 20, 2011 at 2:11 pm by Doubting Thomas.)
I haven't been visited by JW's for a while, but they did come around when I lived in another town a few years ago. Plus, just after my wife & I bought our house there, some religious dudes came around and asked if we wanted to go to their church. Of course the answer was not only no, but hell no. Come to find out that some churches scan the public records of recent house purchases and "visit" the people to invite them to their church. Then I think on another occasion there was a copy of the Watchtower stuck in our door. Glad we were gone that day.
I used to get a bunch of religious junk mail from some "church" in Oklahoma that always exhorted me to send in money so I could get rich, because if I sent them money, somehow God would reward me. After I sent back a few polite requests in their pre-paid envelopes to not send me any more of their crap, I started printing out the most disgusting porn images I could find and mailing them back. Eventually the mail stopped. When I googled that church online, I found that their M.O. is to send donation requests to people in poor neighborhoods, which was strange because we were middle class, and I have no idea how they got my name & address. The town we live in now has no JW's so I'm not bothered by them any more. What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
If the JWs come to your door, hand them YOUR pamphlet! You can find some good ones here:
http://www.normalbobsmith.com/free/flyers/ My favorite is the "God is Fake" pamphlet! Print 'em out and have fun!
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.
God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems?
We just let them think Ares, our pitbull, is DYING to eat their face.
For some reason, God never intervenes in time to stomp the chomp-down, does he? (April 20, 2011 at 2:09 pm)Doubting Thomas Wrote: I used to get a bunch of religious junk mail from some "church" in Oklahoma that always exhorted me to send in money so I could get rich, because if I sent them money, somehow God would reward me. After I sent back a few polite requests in their pre-paid envelopes to not send me any more of their crap, I started printing out the most disgusting porn images I could find and mailing them back. Eventually the mail stopped. I keep getting mail from St. Matthew's church in Tulsa. The envelope contains a "prayer rug" (actually a piece of paper with a picture of Jesus) that you're instructed to use and then send back to them in their postage paid envelope. They also send a flyer with all kinds of idiotic testimonials from people declaring how the "prayer rug" brought them money, health, a job, a house, etc, etc... I always plaster the "prayer rug" with pictures of dicks that I cut out of porn magazines. My favorite bit is to make it look like Jesus is giving somebody a blow job with jizz dribbling down his chin. It's fun to imagine some old lady at this church opening my returned envelope and getting the surprise of her life. "Oh, Agnes! Look what somebody did to Jesus!"
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.
God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems? |
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