@Rob. Your brain is a lying sack of shit when it comes to such things - don't listen to it. Try to be kind to yourself. We think pretty highly of you here, I think giving yourself the benefit of the doubt in this regard is recommended.

You mean an awful lot to me Rob.

Thank you all very much my wonderful friends, waking up to these messages means a lot to me

I know this isn't the "real me", and that I am being way too hard on myself. I know I'm trying my best, and that people who love me understand that. Depression shatters my self esteem and makes me turn all blame inward. Even when I "know" it is lying to me, it's really hard not to believe it anyway, due to the huge emotional grip it has over me. I worry I am hurting and losing my friends, that I'm screwing everything up for everyone

I really appreciate all the kind words Emma was an angel looking after me yesterday, and my wonderful bestie is being very understanding of my temporary insanity here. I didn't take the pill last night, so I'm hoping today will be at least a slight improvement. I didn't wake up with pins and needles in my arms, nor the feeling of dread in my chest, which I've had for about 4 days straight. So that's a good start. It's too early to say what my mood is like.

Emma is off again today... bad timing, but I'd never expect her to sacrifice her trip for my sake. I'll manage. Having you all here for me makes a massive difference, thank you

Hungry, 6 more pounds to lose before I am out of the fat git category.

Tired.

(June 29, 2016 at 2:54 am)Expired Wrote: Hungry, 6 more pounds to lose before I am out of the fat git category.

It'll be worth the hunger in the end, right?

(June 29, 2016 at 2:56 am)Bella Morte Wrote:

(June 29, 2016 at 2:54 am)Expired Wrote: Hungry, 6 more pounds to lose before I am out of the fat git category.

It'll be worth the hunger in the end, right?  

Yeah but it's killing me, just hope I can keep it off when I get to my target.

Emma said she can see the difference in me this morning. She could tell I was very ill and pale yesterday. She says I look more alert, and a healthier colour.

So I've no doubt these pills were poisoning me. It makes sense now, this is uncharacteristically weak of me. I've been strong for a long time now, like I said yesterday. I have bad days, even really bad days, but I bounce back, and fast. But this time the depression has been able to keep me down.

This becomes perfectly understandable now I realise I've been effectively poisoning myself with a pill that is totally wrong for me. So I expect to see a fairly rapid improvement over the next few days. Thanks so much to everyone for being patient with me and putting up with my whining. I love you all