I'm definitely feeling brighter today. I'm unhappy, but it's at a level I can cope with. It's a huge improvement over yesterday, where I really was ready to chuck it in if it wasn't for those I'd leave behind.

I've smiled several times, made some silly jokes, and been mildly helpful to Emma as she's getting ready. Yesterday I could barely open my eyes at this time, and it was a disappointment when I eventually could.

I think I'm getting my value back! It's beyond reasonable doubt now that these pills were wrecking me.

I've talked to the doctor and I'm going to try some different pills. But I'm leaving it until Emma gets back from her trip before I start them.

Probably a good move.

Glad you're feeling better, brother.

Thank you

I'm bummed now Emma has left, but I'm coping.

I don't remember what the stages of grief are, but I'm at the one that involves a lot of crying.

Tired. Long day at the office.

Lonely and desperate for cuddles.

(June 29, 2016 at 12:28 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I don't remember what the stages of grief are, but I'm at the one that involves a lot of crying.

I'm very sorry

(June 29, 2016 at 3:02 am)robvalue Wrote: Emma said she can see the difference in me this morning. She could tell I was very ill and pale yesterday. She says I look more alert, and a healthier colour.

So I've no doubt these pills were poisoning me. It makes sense now, this is uncharacteristically weak of me. I've been strong for a long time now, like I said yesterday. I have bad days, even really bad days, but I bounce back, and fast. But this time the depression has been able to keep me down.

This becomes perfectly understandable now I realise I've been effectively poisoning myself with a pill that is totally wrong for me. So I expect to see a fairly rapid improvement over the next few days. Thanks so much to everyone for being patient with me and putting up with my whining. I love you all

When will you see your doctor? I'm super happy you're feeling better but I'd hate to see your bp go up as a result of quitting the meds.

(June 29, 2016 at 12:28 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I don't remember what the stages of grief are, but I'm at the one that involves a lot of crying.

Hey cry all you need to and remember as much as you want to be supportive you're not superman. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Thank you

I've talked to the surgery and they have prescribed me a different type of pill. I should be able to pick it up in a few days, and they agreed it's fine if I take them after Emma is home on Sunday. I don't want another repeat while I'm alone I just hope those side effects were a one off.

I have an appointment to come in and get my pressure checked again soon, and they will continue to monitor me. I'm lucky to have a very good doctor's surgery.

And I agree, crying can be essential. I often have to do it to cleanse myself regularly, for a particular reason or not.

As for me I'm feeling frustrated with myself because I'm not a child but I really want my mother and I can't have her and that hurts a lot.