(October 13, 2016 at 1:49 pm)Drich Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 10:41 am)Kingpin Wrote: Ok, I'd like to jump in here.  Originally the statute of limitations was set because of the difficulty to prove the accusation after a prolonged length of time, however there were also exceptions allowing the statute to be extended in instances of DNA evidence linked to the accusation.  

Drich is completely wrong here IMO.  Waiting 5 years to report someone kicking you in not the same as rape.  Being a victim of sex abuse myself, I know first hand the psychological toll it takes and the thoughts and emotions involved.  There should be no statute and there are increasingly more states bringing laws and passing them to drop, extend and amend the current statutes.  We are seeing progress because there is more awareness in to this incredible epidemic facing our country.  All sexual crimes should be indictable at any point so long as the evidence is strong enough to indict.  To put a timeline on it is wrong.

How is you opening paragraph any different than what i said?

It's not, but you made further assertions on what victims should do and that is what sets apart my post from yours.

(October 13, 2016 at 12:27 pm)Drich Wrote: I did not blame the victim. I simply explained why there is a time limit to rape in some states.

emphasis mine.

Bullfuckingshit. You explained jack crap.

Let me quote you since you don't see where you blamed the victim:

Quote:It is far more likely that alleged 'victim' seeks or see to further benefit from said can drilling by changing their consent status. After all how can one prove consent? Now how can one prove consent after such a long time? oh, that's right they don't say anything for more than 5 years.

bolding mine.

Quote:...when some people rightfully obtain victim hood they seek to go no further. If you find a person like this, then the best thing is to pay them their due and move on to try and help someone who wants it.

 
Who the fuck are you to say that a victim doesn't want help? Asshole.

And this gem... because you totally took what I said entirely out of context, shifted things to BLAME me for not speaking up. Never mind that I said why I didn't report it in the first place. Threats, fear and intimidation mean nothing to you. Nope. You just continued to lay blame squarely on MY shoulders because you are dripshit.

Quote:You by your own word don't seek justice for yourself or anyone else

Oh look... here's another. What's this make? # three?

Quote:If you want to be a victim the rest of your life then simply continue down the path your on. Seek consul only from those who pity you and offer condolences. Don't ever seek to move past what happen only seek to forget it till someone mentions the word rape in a way you don't want to hear it and then force yourself to relive it.

I didn't say I wanted to be a victim for the rest of my life. I had already stated that I had put it behind me. Furthermore, you don't know what I have done in my life to try and move past it. So don't you dare make assumptions on something you don't know. YOUR words and your blatant ignorance triggered me. Your insensitivity to a traumatic event got that fucking ball rolling. Asshole. And judging by the subsequent nature of this post, you continue to do so, not having a single clue as to how I handled my own shit at the time it happened. Yep. I shared a part of my past because YOU decided to write a post claiming the following:

Quote:IF it takes a woman or man waits 5 years to report a rape... it wasn't.

So yeah, let's trivialize the victim's experience all together by saying it didn't happen simply because they didn't report it within a certain timeframe. So I guess if a five year old child is raped by their uncle, but they are threatened with death by that uncle, if they so much as tell their parents... it's not rape because they were too scared of dying, to fucking report it? AT FIVE YEARS OF AGE? Or maybe a seven year old girl is repeatedly raped by her dad, but dad threatens that if she tells, he will do the same thing to her younger sister. So she doesn't say anything because she wants to protect her sister? No... according to YOU those incidents aren't rape because the goddammed five year old and seven year old children didn't report it. You'd probably want to blame them both for not having the common sense to know that they would be safe even if they did report it, so shame on them for not thinking like an adult, right?

What if you just found out that one of your daughters was raped several years ago, but she didn't report it out of fear? What if it was past the SOL for your state? Based on YOUR reasoning and shit opinion, would you be so ignorant to tell her "Oh honey, you didn't report it within the SOL for our state, so, I'm sorry, but the trauma you think you went through, didn't really happen. Sorry for your loss. Just get over it and move on. Daddy loves you."  Yeah. I can actually envision you saying that. To your own child.

This is NO different with adults who have been threatened, coerced, intimidated or have had any other means of "keeping them quiet" done to them. If the adult is genuinely in fear for what may happen, they aren't going to report it. At the least, they are going to have a very difficult time wrestling with the knowledge that they should report it, but what if they do and the threats turn out to be promises that ARE followed through with? You don't fucking get it. You'll never fucking get it.

Look you motherfucking piece of shit. I don't care who the hell you are. You get NO free pass to make a determination that a rape didn't happen just because it wasn't reported. Get the fuck over yourself and quit being such an arrogant, worthless, piece of fucking shit.

Go play in heavy traffic. Moron.

(October 13, 2016 at 12:11 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 11:53 am)Drich Wrote: why because I approach you without pity and a ounce of discernment? That I have the audacity to dare look at the situation rather than the individual? Is this not a discussion? If one of your buddies gives you a cookie cutter answer, do you really need everyone to pat you on the bottom and tell you everything is going to be ok? Have you shut yourself down to looking at anything anyone has to say that is not nurturing???

This is what happens when a nation grows up without Fathers. Use to be a balance was struck with a child between the nurture a mother gave, and the walk it off/let's do the next logical thing a true father gave.

Now if we are not 100% nurture all you can see is a monster.

Look as I said. If you want to be a victim the rest of your life then simply continue down the path your on. Seek consul only from those who pity you and offer condolences. Don't ever seek to move past what happen only seek to forget it till someone mentions the word rape in a way you don't want to hear it and then force yourself to relive it.

See to me, someone who has endured and work with people who had much much worse happen to them over a much longer period of time. Those of you who force people to only be victims are the true monsters. Because it is possible to detach from an incident like this and not have it define who you are. It can become just another event in your life. adding to your character not controlling it.

But hey what do I know.. just continue to do the easy what 'feels' or seems right/less pain avenue...

I don't think anyone here was fishing for pity or "victim-nurturing", or whatever, Drich.  We were merely discussing how the trauma sexual assault differs from other physical traumas, and the very real emotional/psychological reasons women (and men, and children) have for being afraid to come forward because of the nature of that particular category of trauma.  No one is encouraging anyone to remain a victim.  No one was even implying it's a "good idea" to stay silent.  No one was insinuating they let their rape define who they are.  We were simply explaining to you how and why your laughably ridiculous assertion: "if a woman doesn't report it, it didn't happen," is demonstrably false.  

But...you'll jump at any opportunity to demean someone from your self-appointed high horse.  Keep blindly swinging that iron fist around buddy.  We're all used to it by now.  

So in the eyes of the law...

Let say a rape happens but the SoL Expires...

What is the difference between what happens to a man who raped the woman and a man who had consensual sex with her in that expired time frame??

So again if the SoL Expires and a rape is not reported then in the eyes of the law it is no different than consensual sex.

Because Nothing Happens...

Now if you take that concept and plug it back into the original context from which you plucked it, I advocate that a rape victim be compelled to report their attacker if for no other reason than to keep someone else from going through that very same thing.

This begins to shift the same and guilt off of the individual who was attacked and if stepped through the process begins the cycle of re-enpowerment. In that the victim becomes the aggressor/disruptor of lives.

The alternative allows you (someone who hears the story) an easy out by pilling on the pity, never mind pity just feeds the self loathing, it's what you want.. a juicy tidbit no responsibility the chance to dump on someone who says your system of dealing with grief is flawed.

People who have been dealt this hand need options aside from being drown in pity by well meaning lookie lous.

(October 13, 2016 at 2:15 pm)Drich Wrote: So in the eyes of the law...

Let say a rape happens but the SoL Expires...

What is the difference between what happens to a man who raped the woman and a man who had consensual sex with her in that expired time frame??

So again if the SoL Expires and a rape is not reported then in the eyes of the law it is no different than consensual sex.

Less than wrong, again.....but now that the pretext is over I'm sure you'll share your many opinions on everything you really want to say.

An sol only refers to the states ability to unilaterally commence legal proceedings. The expiry of an sol does not constitute -any- position on consent by the state, or the innocence or guilt of any accused.

(October 13, 2016 at 2:15 pm)Drich Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 12:11 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote: I don't think anyone here was fishing for pity or "victim-nurturing", or whatever, Drich.  We were merely discussing how the trauma sexual assault differs from other physical traumas, and the very real emotional/psychological reasons women (and men, and children) have for being afraid to come forward because of the nature of that particular category of trauma.  No one is encouraging anyone to remain a victim.  No one was even implying it's a "good idea" to stay silent.  No one was insinuating they let their rape define who they are.  We were simply explaining to you how and why your laughably ridiculous assertion: "if a woman doesn't report it, it didn't happen," is demonstrably false.  

But...you'll jump at any opportunity to demean someone from your self-appointed high horse.  Keep blindly swinging that iron fist around buddy.  We're all used to it by now.  

So in the eyes of the law...

Let say a rape happens but the SoL Expires...

What is the difference between what happens to a man who raped the woman and a man who had consensual sex with her in that expired time frame??

So again if the SoL Expires and a rape is not reported then in the eyes of the law it is no different than consensual sex.

Because Nothing Happens...

Now if you take that concept and plug it back into the original context from which you plucked it, I advocate that a rape victim be compelled to report their attacker if for no other reason than to keep someone else from going through that very same thing.

This begins to shift the same and guilt off of the individual who was attacked and if stepped through the process begins the cycle of re-enpowerment. In that the victim becomes the aggressor/disruptor of lives.

The alternative allows you (someone who hears the story) an easy out by pilling on the pity, never mind pity just feeds the self loathing, it's what you want.. a juicy tidbit no responsibility the chance to dump on someone who says your system of dealing with grief is flawed.

People who have been dealt this hand need options aside from being drown in pity by well meaning lookie lous.

Again, you've completely missed my point, Drich. Are you doing that on purpose?

(October 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm)Thena323 Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 12:43 pm)Drich Wrote: -Or
Maybe, just maybe... I've lived through enough shit to know pity/your way does not work... God aside, we live in a culture of victims, and for most anymore that is all people want to be. And if by God's grace you live through a real event that genuinely made you a victim, it like you won life's get out of responsibility card.

So again, if that is what you want fine... Every other moron on this website will help you with that... But here now (enough time has passed for proper grieving) If that person is willing to allow me to help her bury her dead I will try and do that.

First of all, you know fuck all about me or my life. If you did, you'd know that I resent the prospect of being pitied by anyone.

then why attack me for not offering the usual pity statements?

Quote:And if you weren't so deluded and hateful, you wouldn't be sitting here, virtually unable to recognize the difference between showing pity and exercising basic decency. 
That's a big problem, Drich. 

Here again, because you have changed the definition of "pity" to mean basic decency, you can not properly determine or even identify what I did offer. I offered an alternative to having to shut down and relive an experience just because that person was not handled properly.

I want to share how to get out from under an event like this, not have it disrupt your life when ever the subject is broached.

Your problem (and people who think the way you do) is you can not see any other way other than what you have adopted as being 'right.' What's more pride says squash anything or anyone not participating in your pity ceremony, and call them evil...

Put your emotion and what you think is right down for a second, and simply ask yourself an honest question... What if their is a better way than what you feel is right? Now if their is a possibility of a better way, then who are you (the story hear-er/not teller) which way is the right way for them?

Again, The pity party was in full swing when I came in. So your "way" was well represented.. All I did is present an alternative.

Quote:How do you propose that you could ever "help" anyone, when you can't even get a handle on the fucking basics? Not that anyone with half a brain would ask for it.

I'm not here to help all of you. I am not here to be anyone's friend. I am here to answer questions and provide clarity no matter what the popular consensus is. Sometimes we agree and others we do not. This is not an emotion thing for me. This is tell the whole truth the best way I can thing.

You keep digging that hole Drich. Keeeep going, that's it...

(October 13, 2016 at 1:51 pm)Kingpin Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 1:49 pm)Drich Wrote:

How is you opening paragraph any different than what i said?

It's not, but you made further assertions on what victims should do and that is what sets apart my post from yours.

My follow up is also the same in that the act of sex can be proven via dna or even admission, but rape is not about whether or not two people had sex, it is about consensual sex. which again can not be proven.

Then you say:

Quote:Drich is completely wrong here IMO.  Waiting 5 years to report someone kicking you in not the same as rape.

I never said being kicked was the same as rape.

Quote: Being a victim of sex abuse myself, I know first hand the psychological toll it takes and the thoughts and emotions involved.  

Again, I said the same thing, but drew this out over a much longer period of time. I even pointed out when I initially shared this and other traumatic events here I was lambasted with attacks. Yet I also pointed out i still treat my attacker with the same respect as I do anyone else. in that I still communicate and respond to post the best way i can and even would help him further if needed.

Quote:There should be no statute and there are increasingly more states bringing laws and passing them to drop, extend and amend the current statutes.  

This is where i disagree. for the relative small part of the population this would help, the larger number of citizens that could be adversely affected outweighs any potential benefit.

Quote:We are seeing progress because there is more awareness in to this incredible epidemic facing our country.  All sexual crimes should be indictable at any point so long as the evidence is strong enough to indict.  To put a timeline on it is wrong.

Evidence like what a rolling stone article?

In truth That case is why rape is being even talked about to the degree it is the term "culture of rape" was born out of that mess, When it first came out. It was a rallying cry for a good reason, then justice and due process caught up, and showed that case to be without merit. So then media/the self righteous have been searching for another horrid case to stir the pot again.

Before you get back on your soap box allow me to say rape is a problem, but so is what the young "lady" did who told rolling stone that a bunch of drunk collage dude had a go on her, but it turns out she lied about the rape when surprise surprise she was labeled a trollop.

There are two sides to every story and in every case of rape hinges on intent. Intent that is impossible to prove the day after in some cases let alone years or decades after.

it is foolish to assume that most rapes will not be reported till years if not decades after the fact.

Protection does need to be provided for the accuser (which is what the 5 year SoL is), but we must also keep in mind the presumption of innocence in all criminal matters (which is what the 5 years after the SoL is for.)

(October 13, 2016 at 2:33 pm)Drich Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm)Thena323 Wrote: First of all, you know fuck all about me or my life. If you did, you'd know that I resent the prospect of being pitied by anyone.

then why attack me for not offering the usual pity statements?

I'm not attacking you for not offering pity; I'm attacking you for lacking decency.
Read. Learn the difference. 

You were NOT being constructive when you to responded to EACH ONE of the reasons she presented as to why someone may not report a rape, with a dick-jerking emoji. Are you going to continue to pretend that you only came here to help her heal, when that post is available for everyone to see? 

Quit pissing on my leg, and telling me it's raining. You're a fucking liar, Drich. 
Plain and simple.

Drich said a gross, mean (and blatantly false) thing and now, instead of taking responsibility for the thing he actually said, he's going to try and twist it to show that meant something else; that he meant the rape didn't happen in the "eyes of the law".

He claims he has no emotional investment in the topics he participates in, yet he has NO explanation for why he says hurtful, offensive things to specific individuals. I think it's because he enjoys being hurtful, which IS his emotional pay-off.