if it's taken to extremes then looks are more important.

I don't have supermodels knocking at my door but if one did and I hated her personality, I'm still realistic enough to know I'd be fucking her and taking her out for at least a few days before I got too annoyed.

With a girl I find too ugly there's no starting point to go from.

But I've never got obsessed with a girl just based on looks.
I hate the idea of using prostitutes. I'll be guaranteed a good looking young woman to have sex with but without the chatting, kissing and little mind games that I love.
Which makes me think I'm probably not shallow.

For me, the personality is the difference maker. That's what makes people beautiful, not mediagenics or symmetry but their selves shining through. One of the reasons I'm such a sexual warrior is because I don't fuck for the sake of it, I've wanted every single woman I've ever slept with for who they are not just what they are. It's the biggest aphrodisiac.

I don't think it's "shallow" to have some standards about looks personally. Wanting a partner to looks after themselves and lives a healthy lifestyle is a pretty reasonable thing to ask for imo.

I think it's only shallow when you're like extreme about it, and expect nothing less than a 10/10 model. That's not most people.

And yes, you can be very good looking but if we can't hold a conversation it isn't going very far.

(June 8, 2017 at 3:59 pm)Whateverist Wrote:

(June 8, 2017 at 2:46 pm)Khemikal Wrote: I'm completely certain that I'm not even nearly as handsome as my wife thinks I am.  It can only be my super awesome personality. 

You're right.  I can say the same.  Pretty sure it's because we're talkers with a sense of humor and not overly awed by a nice ass - though plenty appreciative.

IKR?  I may not be as pretty as some of these blessed fuckers...but I can sure as hell -sound- a whole lot prettier.  Eye candy is overrated but till pretty awesome.  I prefer the lulling hum of a good story, an alluring voice.

-On that note.  I find that I have a genuine physical attraction to things that -sound attractive-.  I look away from a pretty girls face, to fully focus on her beautiful voice.  Just my wife, tho, ofc. 

I think of it like this. I close my eyes. What is it about the object of my infatuation that pulls me the most. Her thighs? Maybe they're really, really nice. But..no, I hear her voice, I remember her stories. I live with her, there, in my head....apart from our bodies. It's intimate.

It has a lot to do with age/maturity. When I was 14, a girl's personality had not a lot to do with my attraction to her.

Now, at nearly 32, I'd say personality is 50-60% of the equation for me. I need a person who has depth, breadth, character, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. Being a hottie is still important, though.

As far as I am concerned, the attraction is at least 80% what goes on between her ears

Some of the items that count on the masculinity index:

confidence

smarts

bravery (Brian scored big on this one)

unflappable

coming across a little more mature (WTM) than me

not being able to even imagine oneself coming 'unraveled'

most folks think you're quiet and reserved, but you do wind up talking to me (that's how you got on the list Dan-Dan)

noting my attraction to you and completely punting trying to put me off your scent (LOL, Dan-Dan again, you're trying to convince me you're not 'effeminate' and therefore making me want you all the more, ATTENTION DAN-DAN: I am NOT attracted to, as you would put it, sissies, so acting more 'butch' isn't helping accomplish what you want to do)

even if you're in a career I seemingly may not find much to get aroused over (Will!!) you nevertheless definitely got my attention just by having the cajones to whip an addiction, thanks for telling me, BTW

'I've never fucked a ten, but one night I fucked five twos.' - George Carlin

Honestly? I find people attractive more for who they are than for how they look. Luckily for me, I've always managed to get involved with women who feel the same way (I'm no prize, believe me).

Not boasting, but I've had a significant number of sexual partners (and for the benefit of those people who happen to be my wife, these were all in the distant, distant past) and I've always actively liked the people I was with, irrespective of their appearance.

Boru

Personally I automatically dislike/distrust the person the moment I meet them.

I find it saves time.

OP: Jamie, you and Jack both want to do Bill Maher. That can't be physical. (it might be physical if it were a threesome, you could ignore Bill) I'm not even sure how it can be emotional/personality. I mean, just ick ick! (promised Jack to cut down to only two)

The only thing I can assume that makes any kind of sense to me is that you're both Videodrome victims. 

For me it's usually physical first, then mental. Not saying it's right or wrong, just the way it is. Plus, if the mind isn't there, they go away. Then my right hand and I start our special dialogue.