(January 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

(I'll be here all night folks)

Guy 1, "I am a Hindu"

Guy 2, "What exactly does a hen do?"

Guy 1. "Lay eggs."

(Opening act)

(January 7, 2018 at 3:37 pm)Brian37 Wrote:

(January 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

(I'll be here all night folks)

Guy 1, "I am a Hindu"

Guy 2, "What exactly does a hen do?"

Guy 1. "Lay eggs."

(Opening act)

Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space


Joke 2: When is your door, not actually a door?

When it's actually ajar

(January 7, 2018 at 3:41 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote:

(January 7, 2018 at 3:37 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Guy 1, "I am a Hindu"

Guy 2, "What exactly does a hen do?"

Guy 1. "Lay eggs."

(Opening act)

Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space


Joke 2: When is your door, not actually a door?

When it's actually ajar

Don't know if you are old enough to remember Eddie Murphy the comedian and his "Raw" comedy album where he talked about talking cars.

Car, (ding) "Your door is ajar".

Eddie Murphy, "What the fuck is my window? A spoon?"

(January 7, 2018 at 3:48 pm)Brian37 Wrote:

(January 7, 2018 at 3:41 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote: Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space


Joke 2: When is your door, not actually a door?

When it's actually ajar

Don't know if you are old enough to remember Eddie Murphy the comedian and his "Raw" comedy album where he talked about talking cars.

Car, (ding) "Your door is ajar".

Eddie Murphy, "What the fuck is my window? A spoon?"

Yeah.. I've watched some of Murphy's standup.. Never seen Raw though.

Seems there's a competition for the corniest jokes going on here.

Welcome, Twoknives.

(January 7, 2018 at 4:25 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Seems there's a competition for the corniest jokes going on here.

Welcome, Twoknives.

WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED DAN! 

I cant speak for TwoKnives, but I like shiny objects.

(January 7, 2018 at 4:25 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Seems there's a competition for the corniest jokes going on here.

Welcome, Twoknives.

Yeah.. We're renovating this into a Dad Jokes thread.. 

Speaking of...

What do you call it when a dad messes up a dad joke?

A faux pa

*Hang tight boys. it's gonna get worse.

(January 7, 2018 at 5:13 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote:

(January 7, 2018 at 4:25 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Seems there's a competition for the corniest jokes going on here.

Welcome, Twoknives.

Yeah.. We're renovating this into a Dad Jokes thread.. 

Speaking of...

What do you call it when a dad messes up a dad joke?

A faux pa

*Hang tight boys. it's gonna get worse.

That's ok we all know the best part of you ran down your daddy's leg.......OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

(Note to self: Wait for revenge joke)

Sorry, I know I will pay for that, but I couldn't resist. 

Speaking of sperm jokes.


Here is one for you.

So this one sperm dreams of being to the first to the egg. He works out day after day and bulks and buffs up. So the day finally "cums", and he excitedly rushes forward pushing everyone else out of the way, he is way a ahead but suddenly stops, turns around in a panic, the other confused sperm behind him ask, "What what what, what's wrong?"

Lead sperm responds, "GO BACK, TURN AROUND, IT'S A BLOW JOB!"

In all seriousness Two, I only told the "daddy's leg" one because it is really old and I remember it from my highs school days. It is old, so old you could carbon date it way past the cosmic background microwave radiation that proved the big bang.

(January 7, 2018 at 5:25 pm)Brian37 Wrote:

(January 7, 2018 at 5:13 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote: Yeah.. We're renovating this into a Dad Jokes thread.. 

Speaking of...

What do you call it when a dad messes up a dad joke?

A faux pa

*Hang tight boys. it's gonna get worse.

That's ok we all know the best part of you ran down your daddy's leg.......OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

(Note to self: Wait for revenge joke)

Sorry, I know I will pay for that, but I couldn't resist. 

Speaking of sperm jokes.


Here is one for you.

So this one sperm dreams of being to the first to the egg. He works out day after day and bulks and buffs up. So the day finally "cums", and he excitedly rushes forward pushing everyone else out of the way, he is way a ahead but suddenly stops, turns around in a panic, the other confused sperm behind him ask, "What what what, what's wrong?"

Lead sperm responds, "GO BACK, TURN AROUND, IT'S A BLOW JOB!"

HAHAHA!

It's okay Brian.. we all know the only reason you exist is because your dad prematurely ejaculated. so there. 

(Sorry) 

Continuing on with the bad jokes.

What's the difference between a female crab and a crappy bus station?

One's a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean.

(January 7, 2018 at 5:35 pm)TwoKnives99 Wrote:

(January 7, 2018 at 5:25 pm)Brian37 Wrote: That's ok we all know the best part of you ran down your daddy's leg.......OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

(Note to self: Wait for revenge joke)

Sorry, I know I will pay for that, but I couldn't resist. 

Speaking of sperm jokes.


Here is one for you.

So this one sperm dreams of being to the first to the egg. He works out day after day and bulks and buffs up. So the day finally "cums", and he excitedly rushes forward pushing everyone else out of the way, he is way a ahead but suddenly stops, turns around in a panic, the other confused sperm behind him ask, "What what what, what's wrong?"

Lead sperm responds, "GO BACK, TURN AROUND, IT'S A BLOW JOB!"

HAHAHA!

It's okay Brian.. we all know the only reason you exist is because your dad prematurely ejaculated. so there. 

(Sorry) 

Continuing on with the bad jokes.

What's the difference between a female crab and a crappy bus station?

One's a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean.

I take umbrage to this, but I have never been to Cambridge.