(March 8, 2018 at 3:47 pm)Hammy Wrote: There's absolutely no basis for saying that poly relationships are any less good for kids than mono relationships because the distinction has absolutely nothing to do with raising kids. End.

Sometimes you have to read all 4 sentences of a small paragraph or you just end up making silly declarative statements against a stance nobody has taken.

(March 8, 2018 at 12:52 am)Sterben Wrote: Hello, I'm almost thirty-one and I have yet to be in any type of relationship with the opposite-sex. The strange thing about it is the I primarily do not care that I have no sex-life nor a desire for a partner in life. As well, I find computers and electronics more appealing then woman(not in a sexual way). If you told me, "Hey, Sterben a friend of mine is looking to start dating. She's a nice girl and I think you two have a lot in common. Would you like to join (Your partners name ), and (Your name) for a dinner date?" I would really not want to go, on the grounds of I rather be taking photos of a landscape or a activity I can do by myself.


    Getting personal with people bothers me in so many ways, unless I have known them for quite a while and even then I'm still uncomfortable. Does this make a strange or sick person? If so, give a few reasons why.

It isn't normal for people in general but it may be normal for you.  If you're satisfied with the status quo, screw it.  But if you suspect it is fear of intimacy which holds you back there are things you could do to lessen that fear and change the way you are.  But there isn't any reason for you to do that if you like your life as it is.

(March 8, 2018 at 3:54 pm)wallym Wrote:

(March 8, 2018 at 3:47 pm)Hammy Wrote: There's absolutely no basis for saying that poly relationships are any less good for kids than mono relationships because the distinction has absolutely nothing to do with raising kids. End.

Sometimes you have to read all 4 sentences of a small paragraph or you just end up making silly declarative statements against a stance nobody has taken.

I thought you claimed that poly relationships are not good for raising children?

Or was it the other guy? I'm lost at this point.

And hey, making silly declarative statements is what I do best. At least my username is capitalized! Neener neener.

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(March 8, 2018 at 2:11 pm)wallym Wrote: Having kids is probably where polyamory is going to have a pretty big roadblock.  It's definitely fine for people who don't want kids.  And for many people who don't want kids, it's sort of how things go.  But Joe running off for a date with Helen, while Diane sits at home with the crying baby that just fucked up her body is going to be a tough sell to Diane.

Oh I was right. You DID claim that. So my declarative statement wasn't silly at all because like I said, the poly/mono distinction has nothing to do with raising children. There's simply no reason to believe poly relationships can't raise children just as well as mono relationships and for exactly the same reason. End.

Now maybe let's get back on topic?

Yes it's far more normal and common to have no relationship experience by than people let on. There's lots of people like you and me, OP, who don't get out much, and even if there isn't, I don't care. We're fine as we are.

(March 8, 2018 at 3:56 pm)Hammy Wrote:

(March 8, 2018 at 3:54 pm)wallym Wrote: Sometimes you have to read all 4 sentences of a small paragraph or you just end up making silly declarative statements against a stance nobody has taken.

I thought you claimed that poly relationships are not good for raising children?

Or was it the other guy? I'm lost at this point.

And hey, making silly declarative statements is what I do best. At least my username is capitalized! Neener neener.

I was thinking that the change in the relationship dynamic when a child is introduced would be rough, in particular for the mother.  When the father already has another girl who's fun and he's already fucking, and your body just got torn to bits, and you're dealing with post partum shit...

Practically speaking, three parents seems ideal.  Two working, on stay at home.  But relationship wise, I can see why a guy would be a big fan.  Or even a lady who doesn't want kids.

Hammy Wrote: There's absolutely no basis for saying that poly relationships are any less good for kids than mono relationships because the distinction has absolutely nothing to do with raising kids. End

I concur.

wallym Wrote: And if you're one of the ladyfolk, and you've got a bit of a shelf date on your desirability, and the future of polyamory is frequently going to be gross random old guys or cats, it's probably not as appealing to skip the permanent partner search.

There is no basis for this statement either. Seems to be bias speculation and more than a little bit condescending.

See Wally, some people get it. Now back on topic?

^ At least when I'm being condescending I do it on purpose

Who the fuck can say whats normal anymore. I'd take abnormal and happy versus whatever label and unhappy.

(March 8, 2018 at 4:59 pm)rskovride Wrote:

wallym Wrote: And if you're one of the ladyfolk, and you've got a bit of a shelf date on your desirability, and the future of polyamory is frequently going to be gross random old guys or cats, it's probably not as appealing to skip the permanent partner search.

There is no basis for this statement either. Seems to be bias speculation and more than a little bit condescending.

Is it really a stretch?  How do the ladies fair in Hollywood?  They certainly become much better actors as they get older.  But they're for the most part shuffled off, and the only hope is to get enough plastic surgery to pass themselves off as younger.

I didn't think this was a contested idea.  

And older women are competing with younger women when it comes to desirable older men.  So who's that leaving in the prospect pool?

(March 8, 2018 at 6:10 pm)wallym Wrote:

(March 8, 2018 at 4:59 pm)rskovride Wrote: There is no basis for this statement either. Seems to be bias speculation and more than a little bit condescending.

Is it really a stretch?  How do the ladies fair in Hollywood?  They certainly become much better actors as they get older.  But they're for the most part shuffled off, and the only hope is to get enough plastic surgery to pass themselves off as younger.

I didn't think this was a contested idea.  

And older women are competing with younger women when it comes to desirable older men.  So who's that leaving in the prospect pool?

It is still condescending, and still speculation, yes.

Lets breakdown your argument.

You are using women actors in Hollywood as a representative sample for half of the human race.  That's a great idea. [/sarcasm]
Women in Hollywood have a 'shelf date'.
'Shelf dates' are bad for polyamory.
Therefore all women are going to have a problem with polyamory?

This is not a valid or sound argument.  I don't know how to make it any more plain.

(March 8, 2018 at 3:56 pm)Hammy Wrote: Yes it's far more normal and common to have no relationship experience by than people let on. There's lots of people like you and me, OP, who don't get out much, and even if there isn't, I don't care. We're fine as we are.

Me?  I've been happily married for quite a while.  Made a kid and everything. 

What I wonder, regarding the OP, is if he could Weird Science himself a ladyfriend, would he do that, or just prefer being alone.  You can answer as well there if you want.  

My guess is that people aren't choosing aloneness over what CL has.  If hot loving spouse with lots of sex was on the table, would as many people still prefer to photograph scenery or jerkoff by themselves?  But that's not really the option being rejected.  He's rejecting an offer to be setup on a blind double date which is probably going to lead nowhere worthwhile at the cost of having to go through with the anxiety of going on the date to begin with.  

If I'm right, what CL is doing is normal, and what he's doing is also normal.  But I'm not sure his conclusion, which is "no interest in a relationship" is accurately representing himself.  Hopefully, they return, and we can get some clarification, because it's interesting.