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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.

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Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
frankiej Offline
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#1
Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Good day, friends.

The truth has been shown to me. I was confronted by a spirit today, it took the form of a monkey-horse princess. It taught me the ways of the Yogage.

If you do not give yourself up to the giant Yoga-Lord of the cosmos then you will suffer an eternity of performing yoga whilst constantly defecating.

I will answer any questions about my new, totally not imaginary, scripture.

Join the Church of the Yogage today.

Peace brothers.





PS- This is definitely NOT a cult... It is NOT one of my get rich schemes, but it may result in me making lots of money.
Cunt
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ElDinero Offline
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#2
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Ok, I'm in. What do we believe?
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frankiej Offline
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#3
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Good question, dear boy... I'll get back to you on that one. In the mean time, can kneel down, close you eyes and open your mouth, please?
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ElDinero Offline
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#4
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 3:04 pm
You got it, chief!
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frankiej Offline
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#5
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Well, I know that it has something to do with soiled yoga mats... EVERYWHERE!

I assume that is what the punishment for being a shit human being is...

I suppose the reward is being so limber and flexible that you no longer need to do yoga... You can go about the rest of eternity having crazy bendy orgies.
Cunt
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Cinjin Offline Donators
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#6
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 3:18 pm
(September 26, 2011 at 2:52 pm)frankiej Wrote: Good day, friends.

The truth has been shown to me. I was confronted by a spirit today, it took the form of a monkey-horse princess. It taught me the ways of the Yogage.

If you do not give yourself up to the giant Yoga-Lord of the cosmos then you will suffer an eternity of performing yoga whilst constantly defecating.

I will answer any questions about my new, totally not imaginary, scripture.

What a coincidence.

God contacted me today in the form of a walking talking walmart sign.

He told me two things. One - stop thanking him three times a fucking day for the food - that he gets it, we're all thankful!

and Two - I'm supposed to kill any one claiming to hear from other gods who take the form of ridiculous shapes that are not real. Go figure right?

Crazy stuff, but hey - I'll be over in a bit to kill you and your obvious false god.


Thank you walking talking walmart sign!
[Image: Evolution.png]

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frankiej Offline
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#7
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm (This post was last modified: September 26, 2011 at 3:35 pm by frankiej.)
Well my monkey-horse princess said that we should cut of the heads of the followers of false prophets and shit in their wounds!!!!!!!!
Jihads are so fucking fun!!!!!!!!!
Cunt
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MilesTailsPrower Offline
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#8
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 4:23 pm
You make some pretty decent points, I think I'll join!
[Image: 4rynft.jpg]

Religion is like a Penis, you shouldn't whip it out in public and you shouldn't shove it down your child's throat.
[Image: ao1i8o.png]
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Cinjin Offline Donators
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#9
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 4:27 pm
(September 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm)frankiej Wrote: Well my monkey-horse princess said that we should cut of the heads of the followers of false prophets and shit in their wounds!!!!!!!!
Jihads are so fucking fun!!!!!!!!!

well my walking talking walmart sign said that your monkey-horse princess is an obvious fabrication and that I should bury you up to your skull and stone you ....in order to keep our community civil and righteous of course.
[Image: Evolution.png]

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ElDinero Offline
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#10
RE: Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.
September 26, 2011 at 5:19 pm
Cinjin, if you don't believe in the teachings of the Yoga-Lord, you are immoral. How can you know what's right and what's wrong if you don't have Church of the Yogage to guide you? Why don't you just run around raping everyone?
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Join me, my brothers. I will help you see the light.

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