This story is about no one in particular.


One day, several years ago, I was leaving my place of employment. Changing back into my civies. Do my make sure I got it dance.
Wallet, check.
Keys, check.
Shades, check.
Phone, phone, where's my phone?

Now I rummage through my backpack, not in there.
On top of my locker? Nope.
In my locker? Nope.
Maybe if I check my pockets again. Nope, still not there. 


In my backpack,? Nope.
My locker? Nope.
Oh, it must be in my pocket, nope.

Half way through the thrid take, I realize that I am only searching with one hand.
Why, you might ask.
Because I am dumb, I've been talking on the phone the whole time.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(June 5, 2020 at 3:24 pm)zebo-the-fat Wrote: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt  

...can't find the coffee cup.

(June 5, 2020 at 3:26 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:

(June 5, 2020 at 3:24 pm)zebo-the-fat Wrote: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt  

...can't find the coffee cup.

It's in your hand!

(June 5, 2020 at 5:17 pm)zebo-the-fat Wrote:

(June 5, 2020 at 3:26 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: ...can't find the coffee cup.

It's in your hand!

No, no, no, that's the remote.

Frantically searched my car and purse for my cell phone before the days of Bluetooth connectivity in cars. Looked in, on, under, around everything at least three times before I realized that I was holding the phone to my ear having a conversation.

The other day I was shopping and the phone rang in my pocket and I very nearly answered a block of chocolate I was holding in my hand.

1+1 = applesauce *runs into wall*

I decide to call my cell when I couldn't find it. It took me a minute to understand why my cell phone's number wasn't in my cell phone's call records.

22 years ago was trying to finish a very rigorous semester in Nursing School. Working full time supporting spouse and kids, paying mortgage. Burning the candle at both ends and in the middle. One early morning I was getting coffee at the convenience market. Nasty brew that required 6 of those plastic 1/2 and 1/2 cups. So...creamer 1,2,3,4,5....and I realize I have poured the creamer in the trash and put the 5 plastic cups in my coffee. I was dressed to instill trust in the health care profession. Spotless white scrubs and lab coat, Stethoscope around my neck. The construction worker next to me shakes his head and says "Dude?!".