When I argue with the wife, I always have the final word.
It is:

If a doctor gives you a year to live, kill him.

That way a judge will give you 20 to life.

A Spalding salesman once asked me to invest with them.
He said tennis balls generally have a high rate of return.

(September 8, 2020 at 4:54 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: If a doctor gives you a year to live, kill him.

That way a judge will give you 20 to life.

And if he gives you six months to live, tell him you can’t pay him. He’ll give you another six months.

Boru

If you’re best man at your mate’s second wedding after being best man at his first, is it appropriate to start your toast with, ‘Welcome back, everyone!’ ?

Boru

(September 8, 2020 at 2:55 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you’re best man at your mate’s second wedding after being best man at his first, is it appropriate to start your toast with, ‘Welcome back, everyone!’ ?

Boru

It's better than "Here's to the best two out of three".

Friend, "Meet my new girlfriend!"

Me, "You can do better!"

Friend, "She's right here!"

Me, "I know. I was talking to her."

I'm on a facebook group about Oriental Short Hair Cats. (I've had 2 and loved them)
i posted a picture of one and someone asked where I get my oriental short hairs from, I said I'm not sure but I suspect my mother had an affair with an Asian guy

It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? "Not my fault."