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Current time: December 15, 2024, 1:57 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
15 years ago today my grandfather died because we couldn't remember his blood type.

His last words were, "Be positive!"

I try to be, every day.

But it's hard sometimes without him.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
When I argue with the wife, I always have the final word.
It is:

No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
If a doctor gives you a year to live, kill him.

That way a judge will give you 20 to life.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
A Spalding salesman once asked me to invest with them.
He said tennis balls generally have a high rate of return.

Dodgy
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
(September 8, 2020 at 4:54 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: If a doctor gives you a year to live, kill him.

That way a judge will give you 20 to life.

And if he gives you six months to live, tell him you can’t pay him. He’ll give you another six months.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
If you’re best man at your mate’s second wedding after being best man at his first, is it appropriate to start your toast with, ‘Welcome back, everyone!’ ?

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(September 8, 2020 at 2:55 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you’re best man at your mate’s second wedding after being best man at his first, is it appropriate to start your toast with, ‘Welcome back, everyone!’ ?

Boru

It's better than "Here's to the best two out of three".
Reply
RE: joke time
Friend, "Meet my new girlfriend!"

Me, "You can do better!"

Friend, "She's right here!"

Me, "I know. I was talking to her."

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
I'm on a facebook group about Oriental Short Hair Cats. (I've had 2 and loved them)
i posted a picture of one and someone asked where I get my oriental short hairs from, I said I'm not sure but I suspect my mother had an affair with an Asian guy Dunno
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply



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