Hi y'all

How have you dealt with religious family members who try to tell you have to do something, when you don't have to or have no responsibility to? So my grandpa isn't doing well health wise and a family member told me, 'you better be at the funeral' I told them this doesn't change my stance on anything and I told them sternly no, I won't be, as I want nothing to do with anything religious and me attending won't bring him back, when he goes. How would you handle this? I get it, might be rude, but if family won't accept my view on something, I'm not dealing with them.

I'd go, not because of family pressure, assuming that my relationship with Gramps was loving. I'd keep my lack of faith to myself and focus on honoring the dearly departed instead. Going to a do that features religion doesn't mean you're religious.

Years ago when my mom died I went to her funeral at the church the family (not me) attended.

At the graveside service the preacher - a pushy, shifty cocksucker - decided it was a good time to go after me personally. During his long rambling prayer - he and I were the only ones with our eyes open - heads unbowed. 

We were eyes locked as he went on about how this was the time for the wayward to come to Jebus. (Words to that effect)

I shot him the bird.

....

He never bothered me again.


Funny thing - they got rid of him shortly afterwards.

Go to the funeral but you don't have to pray or go to the church. Look at the priest or pastor as just another attendee. Maybe you could give a speech after him and top him.

I don't attend memorials or funerals. I'd rather remember them living than view them dead.

(April 4, 2022 at 8:10 am)brewer Wrote: I don't attend memorials or funerals. I'd rather remember them living than view them dead.

Seeing my grandpa's dead body in the casket was very traumatic. I wish I hadn't seen that.

I have arranged for a totally not religious funeral, also stipulated the the cheapest coffin/body bag be used, no point spending good beer money to feed the worms or the flames

Remember - the funeral isn' t for you - or the horizontal attendee --- it' s for the other mourners.

You' re there for them - and they for you .

You will still have your beliefs whether you attend or not - but should you refuse to go - you might lose some standing with those that wish you were there.....

Ultimately - it' s your call....

(April 4, 2022 at 9:59 am)onlinebiker Wrote: Remember - the funeral isn' t for you - or the horizontal attendee --- it' s for the other mourners.

You' re there for them - and they for you .

You will still have your beliefs whether you attend or not - but should you refuse to go - you might lose some standing with those that wish you were there.....

Ultimately - it' s your call....

Completely agree.  The act of going to a wake and/or funeral is to show respect and express your condolences to the family.

The choice of how they grieve/bury their loved one is theirs.  I don't challenge that, nor do I think at the time of death is the time to get in a pissing contest over belief or lack thereof.

If it wasn't for funerals, I would never see much of my family.  I always go.  Atheism isn't a chip on my shoulder.