(December 24, 2022 at 2:29 pm)Uberpod Wrote:

(December 24, 2022 at 11:07 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: Whichever analogy you prefer. My point is that taking rejection personally is a great recipe for unhappiness. "What's wrong with me?" thinking gives off a reek that everyone can smell, and I think most of us find it deeply unattractive -- so that it becomes a vicious cycle.

Taking rejection personally is to be expected. Take a personal inventory.  Be brief, don't tarry. Plan some growth and change if needed, but move on fast. I agree that overpersonalizing things must be avoided. Many things have external causes outside one's control. And, if needy and pathetic were attractive we'd all get laid on our worst days.

And if you still take that moral inventory and find can't fix the problems you find, just order one of these (choose the design of the partner you want, these guys aren't too copyright conscious), and once it arrives (it will take a while, what with the shop being based out of China), fill it with one of these, and voila, you've got a girlfriend. I've been with mine for close to three years.

(December 24, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote:

(December 24, 2022 at 2:29 pm)Uberpod Wrote: Taking rejection personally is to be expected. Take a personal inventory.  Be brief, don't tarry. Plan some growth and change if needed, but move on fast. I agree that overpersonalizing things must be avoided. Many things have external causes outside one's control. And, if needy and pathetic were attractive we'd all get laid on our worst days.

And if you still take that moral inventory and find can't fix the problems you find, just order one of these (choose the design of the partner you want, these guys aren't too copyright conscious), and once it arrives (it will take a while, what with the shop being based out of China), fill it with one of these, and voila, you've got a girlfriend. I've been with mine for close to three years.

An alternative is posting on Internet message boards.  (Come to think of it, where's @Ahriman?)

(December 24, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote:

(December 24, 2022 at 2:29 pm)Uberpod Wrote: Taking rejection personally is to be expected. Take a personal inventory.  Be brief, don't tarry. Plan some growth and change if needed, but move on fast. I agree that overpersonalizing things must be avoided. Many things have external causes outside one's control. And, if needy and pathetic were attractive we'd all get laid on our worst days.

And if you still take that moral inventory and find can't fix the problems you find, just order one of these (choose the design of the partner you want, these guys aren't too copyright conscious), and once it arrives (it will take a while, what with the shop being based out of China), fill it with one of these, and voila, you've got a girlfriend. I've been with mine for close to three years.

And when its time for her to meet the parents, she won't say anything out of turn.

(December 24, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote:

(December 24, 2022 at 2:29 pm)Uberpod Wrote: Taking rejection personally is to be expected. Take a personal inventory.  Be brief, don't tarry. Plan some growth and change if needed, but move on fast. I agree that overpersonalizing things must be avoided. Many things have external causes outside one's control. And, if needy and pathetic were attractive we'd all get laid on our worst days.

And if you still take that moral inventory and find can't fix the problems you find, just order one of these (choose the design of the partner you want, these guys aren't too copyright conscious), and once it arrives (it will take a while, what with the shop being based out of China), fill it with one of these, and voila, you've got a girlfriend. I've been with mine for close to three years.

And when it comes time for her to meet the parents, she won't say anything out of turn.

(December 23, 2022 at 10:34 pm)Uberpod Wrote:

(December 23, 2022 at 10:30 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: I've passed up nookie because I wasn't sure what she wanted or would like. Ambiguous isn't my style.

Pussy cat got your tongue? You could not just ask?

Never went that far because I would miss a thousand to avoid hurting one.

(December 24, 2022 at 2:29 pm)Uberpod Wrote: Taking rejection personally is to be expected. Take a personal inventory.  Be brief, don't tarry. Plan some growth and change if needed, but move on fast. I agree that overpersonalizing things must be avoided. Many things have external causes outside one's control. And, if needy and pathetic were attractive we'd all get laid on our worst days.

Right, I wasn't saying don't be introspective about the why. That's why even after my awkward high-school rejections I didn't go incel; I set about fixing my issues as best I could and can, and stopped wanting to blame others.

You got my gist, though, that taking offense at it, and looking outward rather than inward for the reasons, is harmful.

Recovering alcoholic here -- taking inventory is always a good thing in my opinion. Just don't dwell on the opinions of others once you've analyzed your own behavior. I think that's the crucial failing of incels: they point the finger at others rather than take stock of themselves at all. Rather than change what things they can, they rail against people whom they cannot change.

CBT can be useful to help retrain your mind not to interpret reactions and rejections in unrealistic ways.

(December 24, 2022 at 7:29 pm)Angrboda Wrote: CBT can be useful to help retrain your mind not to interpret reactions and rejections in unrealistic ways.

Cannabis-Based Treats?

(December 24, 2022 at 3:49 pm)arewethereyet Wrote:

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