Hi, from Central NY.
I was brought up southern Baptist, my dad was a preacher. Tried to become a Christian but it didn’t last if I felt anything at all. 1970s was a jesus moment I tried again to find happiness and contentment but that didn’t happen either.
I thought I was saved, having gone through the ritual of baptism and repentance, instead of happiness Christianity made me feel incomplete and a longing for understanding and enlightenment.
I got a glimpse of what I wanted in my life by using psychedelics for inner exploration and self awareness. Brain crashed and was diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia. Still searching for peace and contentment but not through drugs.
A lot of life went by, got married, had a family, two daughters. 30 yrs later, I overdosed on medication and herbal supplements and had what I thought was a spiritual awakening. It was near Easter, I disrobed turned on the shower and entered tub at front of curtain and exited at back of shower curtain. Symbolic of the resurrection, leaving the old self and given a new beginning.
After that, recovered started working part time while attending college. Graduated with honors and went on to get a bachelor’s degree in human services, working part time.
Played Christian for a while but this time church worship services I could see how manipulating the songs, the rituals and everything Christian services were devised to persuade people to believe their way. It was clear to me that religion was a gimmick to maintain order and control over society.
I’m seeing a therapist who suggested I find an online forum for atheist to help me overcome my conflicting past. So here I am.
I was brought up southern Baptist, my dad was a preacher. Tried to become a Christian but it didn’t last if I felt anything at all. 1970s was a jesus moment I tried again to find happiness and contentment but that didn’t happen either.
I thought I was saved, having gone through the ritual of baptism and repentance, instead of happiness Christianity made me feel incomplete and a longing for understanding and enlightenment.
I got a glimpse of what I wanted in my life by using psychedelics for inner exploration and self awareness. Brain crashed and was diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia. Still searching for peace and contentment but not through drugs.
A lot of life went by, got married, had a family, two daughters. 30 yrs later, I overdosed on medication and herbal supplements and had what I thought was a spiritual awakening. It was near Easter, I disrobed turned on the shower and entered tub at front of curtain and exited at back of shower curtain. Symbolic of the resurrection, leaving the old self and given a new beginning.
After that, recovered started working part time while attending college. Graduated with honors and went on to get a bachelor’s degree in human services, working part time.
Played Christian for a while but this time church worship services I could see how manipulating the songs, the rituals and everything Christian services were devised to persuade people to believe their way. It was clear to me that religion was a gimmick to maintain order and control over society.
I’m seeing a therapist who suggested I find an online forum for atheist to help me overcome my conflicting past. So here I am.
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