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Woman marries corporation
July 19, 2012 at 7:26 am
(This post was last modified: July 19, 2012 at 7:33 am by Jaysyn.)
Woman Marries Corporate Person In Public Ceremony
They actually got a marriage license. This is now apparently legal in the US. Thanks Citizen's United!
Observation #1: This seems to be an end run around polygamy laws. Technically all the shareholders are married (just a little bit) to Mrs. Vogel. She's going to have one hell of a honeymoon.
Observation #2: This also seems to be an end run around the entire anti-gay marriage agenda.
Step one, you & your partner both form corporations where you are each the sole stock holders.
Step two, have your companies marry.
Step three, profit!
EDIT: Doh, I didn't read all the way down to the bottom. The marriage wasn't legal, but only because the corporate person was under age. However, that opens a whole lot of other questions about distilleries & firearms manufacturers that haven't been in existence very long.
Hilarious unintended consequences here!
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 19, 2012 at 7:43 am
Quote:UPDATE Sadly, for the happy couple, marital bliss was not to be, as it was determined earlier today that the marriage license could not be legal due to the Corporate Person being underaged.
What a pervert.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 19, 2012 at 7:45 am
(July 19, 2012 at 7:43 am)Faith No More Wrote: Quote:UPDATE Sadly, for the happy couple, marital bliss was not to be, as it was determined earlier today that the marriage license could not be legal due to the Corporate Person being underaged.
What a pervert.
So does that mean now corporations can't enter into contracts until they've been in existance for 18 years?
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 19, 2012 at 8:18 am
(This post was last modified: July 19, 2012 at 9:00 am by Faith No More.)
A very good point. It seems to me that if corporations are to be accepted as people, that should mean all laws that apply to people apply to corportations. I have a feeling, however, that will not be the case.
This reminds me of a quote I heard but can't remember who said it(some guy on the Colbert Report).
Quote:I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 19, 2012 at 8:35 am
If she cheats on him with another corporation, does that make her a corporate whore?
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm
(July 19, 2012 at 8:35 am)Tiberius Wrote: If she cheats on him with another corporation, does that make her a corporate whore?
Only if she gets paid. Otherwise she's a corporate slut.
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 21, 2012 at 12:09 am
Not only is the entire premise of this just amusing as shit, this entire thread has become quite fun to read. Now seriously, if this person had been of age, does that mean that this would have been a legal thing? I mean, really? What has become of America. I live here, haven't ever even been outside of the borders and yet this kind of thing just astounds me. After 27 years of living with things like this you would assume one would be desensitized but damn it I'm not.
"Stop chasing your tail and relax. Jesus is watching you make shit up." Shell B to CliveStaples
(July 21, 2012 at 12:31 am)cato123 Wrote: (July 21, 2012 at 12:22 am)C.W. Sims Wrote: I for one, as a homo, must say that if he was a homo, then he had to have looked fabulous on that cross. Nearly naked, body all ripped, oh wait.... yeah, never mind. I'm gonna just stop right there before I offend anyone. 
I have a certain distaste for the emoticons, and particularly despise the laughing/rolling dude when used in response to one's own statement, but.....
Holy fuck that was funny! "Nearly naked, body all ripped,....". Oh, fuck me. I'm still laughing but can no longer piss myself since I've emptied the tank.
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 21, 2012 at 12:35 am
(July 19, 2012 at 8:35 am)Tiberius Wrote: If she cheats on him with another corporation, does that make her a corporate whore?
Nope, just a venture capitalist.
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm
C. W. Sims Wrote:After 27 years of living with things like this you would assume one would be desensitized but damn it I'm not.
That's because our stupidity as a whole is gaining this uncontrollable momentum like a snowball rolling downhill. Just when you get desesitized to the current level of stupidity, the morons ratchet it up to a whole different level you never could have foreseen.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: Woman marries corporation
July 21, 2012 at 10:04 pm
She might be doing it to show how stupid corporations having personhood is.
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