(August 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Those two scenarios would, for me, be indistinguishable from each other.

XD Trying to envision Rhythm as a woman... I am afraid I just can't do it. What would be left of you?

Can you imagine Lilly as a guy? 0.o

I don't even begin to know what that'd be like...

I know this makes me the minority in trans circles, but I really don't care if it's called transsexuality, GID, gender dysphoria or anything else. Names and titles aren't that important to me; the end result is. If this results in people treating us less shitty, I'm all for it. If it results in people being harsher on us, I'm against it. More likely, we had activists fighting this while they could have been fighting battles with less abstract gains for us (ENDA, for example).

If you want to make sure I can find safe, secure housing, access to medical care and a decent job, I don't care if you call me a transsexual, MtF, tranny or shemale.

Violet, I really don't know about 'why'of it,but I do perhaps know the basics of the 'what'

My perception is that trans gender people identify with and as a person of the other sex. That such people often live deeply unhappy ,unfulfilled lives. ( I would expect a higher than average suicide rate). Trans genders are NOT gay.

That gender reassignment gives many some peace of mind,and personal validation,allowing them to lead happier, more normal lives.


Violet my dear, try not to let the labels distress you;they are irrelevant. It's perfectly OK to call the scientists a bunch of dumb cunts.

(August 24, 2012 at 6:49 pm)TaraJo Wrote: I know this makes me the minority in trans circles, but I really don't care if it's called transsexuality, GID, gender dysphoria or anything else. Names and titles aren't that important to me; the end result is. If this results in people treating us less shitty, I'm all for it. If it results in people being harsher on us, I'm against it. More likely, we had activists fighting this while they could have been fighting battles with less abstract gains for us (ENDA, for example).

It's true that this didn't change much, but I like to see the ball rolling EEOC's recent change was amazing ( http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/24...ent-rights )

There are other battles to fight, but we'll get to them at some point.

Quote:If you want to make sure I can find safe, secure housing, access to medical care and a decent job, I don't care if you call me a transsexual, MtF, tranny or shemale.

Depends on how it's stated (for me). Fucker is an amazing term, because context, tone, and gesture are all of critical importance in applying meaning. With no ill intent, I don't mind any of the above terms enough to comment upon them... but it has a way of making me uncomfortable (and by proxy, damaging an interactions' potential).

I am glad to hear it doesn't affect all of us like this

---

(August 24, 2012 at 7:02 pm)padraic Wrote: Violet, I really don't know about 'why'of it,but I do perhaps know the basics of the 'what'

What brought this on, pad?

Quote:My perception is that trans gender people identify with and as a person of the other sex. That such people often live deeply unhappy ,unfulfilled lives. ( I would expect a higher than average suicide rate). Trans genders are NOT gay.

Suicide is an easy way out, and I don't blame anyone for taking it. Making it illegal is more than a little bit funny.

Or... we can be. I mean, I'm a chick dating another chick. And I've been banging men for years. However you consider it, I'm more than a little homosexual.

Quote:That gender reassignment gives many some peace of mind,and personal validation,allowing them to lead happier, more normal lives.

And sexual release. Can't forget that one. Poor transmen.

Quote:Violet my dear, try not to let the labels distress you;they are irrelevant. It's perfectly OK to call the scientists a bunch of dumb cunts.

Mmmnnn.... wouldn't be calling scientists dumb cunts, but shrinks? I've met more than a few of that variety. There're nice ones too, but I haven't been very lucky with them.

Really don't think labels are irrelevant, the world enjoys revolving around them. It's more like 'should be irrelevant'.

(August 25, 2012 at 11:07 am)Violet Lilly Blossom Wrote: It's true that this didn't change much, but I like to see the ball rolling EEOC's recent change was amazing ( http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/24...ent-rights )

There are other battles to fight, but we'll get to them at some point.

Agreed. It may be a small win, but I'll take a small win over a small loss any day.

Quote:If you want to make sure I can find safe, secure housing, access to medical care and a decent job, I don't care if you call me a transsexual, MtF, tranny or shemale.

Quote:Depends on how it's stated (for me). Fucker is an amazing term, because context, tone, and gesture are all of critical importance in applying meaning. With no ill intent, I don't mind any of the above terms enough to comment upon them... but it has a way of making me uncomfortable (and by proxy, damaging an interactions' potential).

I am glad to hear it doesn't affect all of us like this

Yeah, context is where it's important to me, too. I mean, I do webcam modeling earn money while I'm in school and the guys in there have no ill intent when they use the term 'shemale.' They simply don't know better. On the other hand, Janice Raymond calls us 'transsexual' and is extremely hostile towards us. I'd rather be called 'shemale' in good will than 'transsexual' with hostility.

Quote:Or... we can be. I mean, I'm a chick dating another chick. And I've been banging men for years. However you consider it, I'm more than a little homosexual.

Yeah, actually, when I started my transition, I was way surprised to find so many homosexuals in the trans community. I even held my self back for years because I thought my attraction to women meant I couldn't be trans.

I'm thinking that, with our own personal experiences with the fluidity of gender, trans people are more likely to identify as bisexual.

Quote:

Quote:That gender reassignment gives many some peace of mind,and personal validation,allowing them to lead happier, more normal lives.

And sexual release. Can't forget that one. Poor transmen.

That varies from person to person. Some guys (and girls) can get quite comfortable with their birth genitas; some can't. Still, I'm glad to see someone with a little sympathy for trans guys. I've been in way too many trans circles where the girls are all stuck on the 'trans men have it easier' meme; it really pisses off my FtM boyfriend.

Quote:Really don't think labels are irrelevant, the world enjoys revolving around them. It's more like 'should be irrelevant'.

I do think most people place way too much importance on labels, though. Honestly, the only way I've been able to get where I am in life is to just give up worrying about things like that. I mean, I watch other trans people (or other generally queer people) struggle over whether the label 'straight' or 'gay' applies to them and I watch other people consider how black they have to be to call themselves black and I'm watching political debates where people are so entrenched in their political label that they'll follow that label off a cliff into insanity. Me, I date who I'm attracted to, I vote for whoever makes sense and my race is 'human.' The rest is just details. The only title that really matters to me is "Tara."

Quote:What brought this on, pad?

The new labels,which seemed to cause you distress. Sorry if I misunderstood.


Yes by all means replace 'scientific' with 'shrink' . Having seen a few shrinks in my life,my perception is that some at least are even more arrogant than surgeons,and with far less justification. Freudian wankers annoy the crap out of me.

OF COURSE labels effect the way others treat us. However I do not believe we should allow labels to define us.

(August 25, 2012 at 12:33 pm)TaraJo Wrote: Yeah, context is where it's important to me, too. I mean, I do webcam modeling earn money while I'm in school and the guys in there have no ill intent when they use the term 'shemale.' They simply don't know better. On the other hand, Janice Raymond calls us 'transsexual' and is extremely hostile towards us. I'd rather be called 'shemale' in good will than 'transsexual' with hostility.

Complete agreement How is that going for you? I pondered making money in a similar job a while back, but ultimately didn't since I wouldn't want the additional pressure when I was but half a year on HRT.

Quote:Yeah, actually, when I started my transition, I was way surprised to find so many homosexuals in the trans community. I even held my self back for years because I thought my attraction to women meant I couldn't be trans.

I'm thinking that, with our own personal experiences with the fluidity of gender, trans people are more likely to identify as bisexual.

I was kinda lucky to realize my transsexuality at the tender age of 13. Having sex with guys probably helped with that

I am bisexual, flopped from mostly interested in men to mostly interested in women.

Quote:That varies from person to person. Some guys (and girls) can get quite comfortable with their birth genitas; some can't. Still, I'm glad to see someone with a little sympathy for trans guys. I've been in way too many trans circles where the girls are all stuck on the 'trans men have it easier' meme; it really pisses off my FtM boyfriend.

Oh I know... but I know that for many of them it blows goats. Most of the trans circles around here have a 1.5:1 ratio of transmen and transwomen. Is there any sort of argument they use suggesting transmen have it easier? Who gives a shit anyway: we're all a bunch of miserable dysphoric individuals looking for support. And some half of us leave the community completely once we're done with it -_-

As for me... if I didn't need the skin off this thing, I'd have removed it years ago. Waiting's a killer. I'd trade with your boyfriend, I was unfortunately 'well-endowed' -_-

Quote:I do think most people place way too much importance on labels, though. Honestly, the only way I've been able to get where I am in life is to just give up worrying about things like that. I mean, I watch other trans people (or other generally queer people) struggle over whether the label 'straight' or 'gay' applies to them and I watch other people consider how black they have to be to call themselves black and I'm watching political debates where people are so entrenched in their political label that they'll follow that label off a cliff into insanity. Me, I date who I'm attracted to, I vote for whoever makes sense and my race is 'human.' The rest is just details. The only title that really matters to me is "Tara."

I wonder why it matters if we're straight or gay or whatever.

Gay man: Hey, I'm gay.
Straight man: Hey, I'm a woman fucker.

I'm very apathetic. I'd ponder if that's a good thing, but I find I don't care Pass the chips!

---

(August 25, 2012 at 8:50 pm)padraic Wrote:

Quote:What brought this on, pad?

The new labels,which seemed to cause you distress. Sorry if I misunderstood.

'Twas the old label I particularly disliked. I wouldn't mind nearly so much if my HRT-readiness letter wasn't worded with about 15 million 'he', 'him', 'his', and a couple legal name uses as well. *twitch*

So I griped on "Gender Identity Disorder" because I was busy griping on the rest of it

Quote:Yes by all means replace 'scientific' with 'shrink' . Having seen a few shrinks in my life,my perception is that some at least are even more arrogant than surgeons,and with far less justification. Freudian wankers annoy the crap out of me.

Especially a few trans-specific shrinks. Anne Lawrence... *shudders*

Quote:OF COURSE labels effect the way others treat us. However I do not believe we should allow labels to define us.

Even purple?!

(August 26, 2012 at 12:32 am)Violet Lilly Blossom Wrote: Complete agreement How is that going for you? I pondered making money in a similar job a while back, but ultimately didn't since I wouldn't want the additional pressure when I was but half a year on HRT.

I really enjoy webcam modeling, but I don't make as much money as I'd like. Part of it is that I'm not as good at advertising, part of it is that I'm a little older/heavier than some of the girls out there and some of it is that it's tough for me to keep a regular schedule. It's given me a little income while I'm in school, though, and it's helped me get more comfortable with my body and my sexuality. In March 2011, I was having to fight the urge to just chop it off with a butcher knife. Now? Now I like my penis. I just wish I had more control over it.

I'm considering going on and trying to do more. I know of a photographer in Austin who does photography for a major ts porn site and I'm working on trying to set up a photo shoot with them. I also kind know of a girl up in Arlington who has made a big name for herself in the ts porn scene over the past year or so and I've been thinking of trying to get help from her to set something up. I don't know if I would want to go out and actually do porn, mostly because I know my bf wouldn't be ok with it, but doing one or two big name photo shoots and maybe a solo vid would probably help my popularity.

Quote:I was kinda lucky to realize my transsexuality at the tender age of 13. Having sex with guys probably helped with that

I am bisexual, flopped from mostly interested in men to mostly interested in women.

Quite lucky. I started when I was 29. My teen years were spent with my dad forcing me into boy sports. Ugh. Can you imagine how fun that was when most of the insults thrown at me involved the phrase "like a girl?"

I tried dating guys, never felt right then. If I date guys now, it feels right. I can date girls, too; heck, started dating Lee before either of us really realized he's trans, so I kinda have to be bi.

Quote:Oh I know... but I know that for many of them it blows goats. Most of the trans circles around here have a 1.5:1 ratio of transmen and transwomen. Is there any sort of argument they use suggesting transmen have it easier?

Remember the other thread where I'm talking about the feminist extremist? That's them. They home in on 'male privilege' and don't let up with the term. The irony is, having been raised as a girl in a religious fundamentalist household, he's probably had a lot less male privilege over the years than they have, especially since he's pre-transition.

Quote:Who gives a shit anyway: we're all a bunch of miserable dysphoric individuals looking for support. And some half of us leave the community completely once we're done with it -_-

I'm about at that point, too; I've gotten all the support I really need from the trans community and as of now, so much of the anger and bitterness coming from people who are just starting out or who simply can't move on is bringing me down. I'm ready to move on to greener pastures. The only problem is that I've centered so much of my social life around people like that I'm not really sure where to move on to.

Quote:As for me... if I didn't need the skin off this thing, I'd have removed it years ago. Waiting's a killer. I'd trade with your boyfriend, I was unfortunately 'well-endowed' -_-

He'd totally take that trade, although he'd much rather get rid of 'the tumors' than fix his genitals. Poor thing has to either deal with letting them bounce around, which is EXTREMELY uncomfortable to him or he has to wear a thick, hot, heavy binder under his clothes in Houston heat and humidity. I never met breasts I hated until he came around.

Quote:I wonder why it matters if we're straight or gay or whatever.

Gay man: Hey, I'm gay.
Straight man: Hey, I'm a woman fucker.

I'm very apathetic. I'd ponder if that's a good thing, but I find I don't care Pass the chips!

---

Damn, I like your attitude. I'm about the same way. My goal in life is just to be happy and worrying about trivial shit like that just gets in the way of my goal.

(August 26, 2012 at 2:22 am)TaraJo Wrote: I really enjoy webcam modeling, but I don't make as much money as I'd like. Part of it is that I'm not as good at advertising, part of it is that I'm a little older/heavier than some of the girls out there and some of it is that it's tough for me to keep a regular schedule. It's given me a little income while I'm in school, though, and it's helped me get more comfortable with my body and my sexuality.

I see... and I'm probably too exotic to bring to the masses anyhow.

Quote:In March 2011, I was having to fight the urge to just chop it off with a butcher knife. Now? Now I like my penis. I just wish I had more control over it.

Nice! It's different for everyone... have you suffered from the 'how trans is trans enough' bullshit some of the community touts because you don't mind/like it?

I've fought the 'urge' to cut it off for some six years now... I'd say I have a lot of restraint, but I know it's just because I'm looking forward to post-op orgasm *so much*

Quote:I'm considering going on and trying to do more. I know of a photographer in Austin who does photography for a major ts porn site and I'm working on trying to set up a photo shoot with them. I also kind know of a girl up in Arlington who has made a big name for herself in the ts porn scene over the past year or so and I've been thinking of trying to get help from her to set something up. I don't know if I would want to go out and actually do porn, mostly because I know my bf wouldn't be ok with it, but doing one or two big name photo shoots and maybe a solo vid would probably help my popularity.

It sounds like a great idea to me... but then I shouldn't be one to give advice, since I think sex work is all I amount to outside of seasonal fishing. Rather pessimistic of me... but hey: if you think you've got a chance at some more money: why the hell not?

Quote:Quite lucky. I started when I was 29. My teen years were spent with my dad forcing me into boy sports. Ugh. Can you imagine how fun that was when most of the insults thrown at me involved the phrase "like a girl?"

I tried dating guys, never felt right then. If I date guys now, it feels right. I can date girls, too; heck, started dating Lee before either of us really realized he's trans, so I kinda have to be bi.

My earlier teen years were spent being fucked both utterly willingly and also not. I can imagine how "fun" it is to be bullied through school, or I can just remember it. I'd smile at "you look like a girl.", but then frown since it was often meant with a mean heart...

I rather enjoyed playing sports with guys, after a certain point in elementary school: girls just stopped playing as competitively. They became less of a challenge because they didn't try. I stopped playing sports mostly because I was tired of being tormented, but I also was really starting to hate how hairy and unfeminine my body was.

... I never had a problem banging guys, on the contrary: I loved being treated as a woman, and sex was the only place I could have that. Even if it was horrible, even if it hurt... it cheered me psychologically.

Quote:Remember the other thread where I'm talking about the feminist extremist? That's them. They home in on 'male privilege' and don't let up with the term. The irony is, having been raised as a girl in a religious fundamentalist household, he's probably had a lot less male privilege over the years than they have, especially since he's pre-transition.

Poor Lee

And pregnant woman privilege is overpowered.

Quote:I'm about at that point, too; I've gotten all the support I really need from the trans community and as of now, so much of the anger and bitterness coming from people who are just starting out or who simply can't move on is bringing me down. I'm ready to move on to greener pastures. The only problem is that I've centered so much of my social life around people like that I'm not really sure where to move on to.

That sucks I wasn't sure what to do when I moved to Texas with only two friends left in Alaska... so I went out almost every night to various GLBT meetings in hopes of making new friends. Most of the people I met I don't talk to or care about, but I've met a good number who meet the mark ^_^

Granted... it's probably harder to change your social circles when you're in your thirties than your late teens...

Quote:He'd totally take that trade, although he'd much rather get rid of 'the tumors' than fix his genitals. Poor thing has to either deal with letting them bounce around, which is EXTREMELY uncomfortable to him or he has to wear a thick, hot, heavy binder under his clothes in Houston heat and humidity. I never met breasts I hated until he came around.

Transmen have it hard His nickname for them reminds me of my 'cancerous growth'

Quote:Damn, I like your attitude. I'm about the same way. My goal in life is just to be happy and worrying about trivial shit like that just gets in the way of my goal.

My attitude, purple hair, and girlfriend are all I've got going for me, so I'd best hope they're likable

*claps hands excitedly

Oh, this is good news for my friend, who recently came out of the transgender closet. One of her biggest concerns was the label of 'mental illness', since she would like to perhaps adopt one day. Good thing to know that the world is moving forward