I need to vent a bit. Don't have anyone to talk to at the moment.

So a couple of hours ago, I was over at a friend's apartment. Her ex-husband stops by to pick up their 13 year old, and he and their other son (22 years old) get into a verbal altercation right outside the door.

A little history on the guy: he has a history of anger management issues, substance abuse, violent outbursts, and physical and emotional abuse. He's manipulative, and everything is everyone elses fault but his. Yup, he's that guy.

To make a long story short, eventually my friend gets dragged into it,
and he's being very threateningg and abusive, and not responding to requests that he leave. The situation is escalating, and while I'm not a fan of getting involved in a domestic dispute, somebody has to do something.

So the next thing I know, I'm out in front of their apartment, standing 6 feet away from this asshole, pointing a baseball bat at his nose, telling him it's time for him to leave, now. He objects to "being assulted" (haha), and goes for his cell phone to call the cops.

Let me save you the trouble, asshole, I'll call them. Which I did. He continues to rant for a bit longer, threatens to not return the 13 year old, and generally continues to make an ass of himself before leaving right before the cops show up. Oh, yeah, and he said to her "if I ever see that guy (me) again, I'm gonna kill him".

The police are sympathetic, but can't really do anything. The primary objective has already been accomplished though: the asshole is gone.

I abhor violence. I hate these kinds of confrontations. I'm just now coming down off the adrenaline surge, and I hate that I felt I had to do what I did. I couldn't sit by and let him abuse my friend the way he did when they were together.

I don't know that I could have done much differently. What do you think you would have done in a similar situation?

called the cops instead of getting involved in the argument

I think that the guy was lucky a level headed dude like yourself was at the helm...rather than someone like myself. Sounds, to me, like you handled it well. CD the standup mf'in guy..I say. You even felt bad about it getting to that point - bonus points man.

(I would have just hit him in the leg with the bat for being loud ,obnoxious, and threatening "Hi toughguy" style and been done with it)

Did you mention to the police that he threatened to kill you?

If he has a history of violence that should certaintly be enought to get a court order to keep him at distance.

(June 4, 2013 at 1:00 am)The Germans are coming Wrote: Did you mention to the police that he threatened to kill you?

If he has a history of violence that should certaintly be enought to get a court order to keep him at distance.

Yup. Surprisingly, it's not illegal here to threaten someone like that, unless there's some other element present to make the threat credible.

I'm actually not that concerned about what he might do to me. I'm more concerned about what he'll do to her. He's a coward, and likes to abuse defenseless people. I am not defenseless.

He didn't even have the balls to threaten me to my face, he did it by proxy - which is another reason I am not afraid of the guy.

(June 4, 2013 at 12:55 am)The Germans are coming Wrote: called the cops instead of getting involved in the argument

15 minute response time.

(June 4, 2013 at 12:55 am)Rhythm Wrote: I think that the guy was lucky a level headed dude like yourself was at the helm...rather than someone like myself. Sounds, to me, like you handled it well. CD the standup mf'in guy..I say. You even felt bad about it getting to that point - bonus points man.

(I would have just hit him in the leg with the bat for being loud ,obnoxious, and threatening "Hi toughguy" style and been done with it)

There wasn't enough room in the breezeway to get a good swing in. I really didn't want to hurt the guy in front of his kid.

(June 4, 2013 at 1:07 am)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Yup. Surprisingly, it's not illegal here to threaten someone like that, unless there's some other element present to make the threat credible.

And what exactly does the law of your land define as a "credible murder threat"?

Quote:I'm actually not that concerned about what he might do to me. I'm more concerned about what he'll do to her. He's a coward, and likes to abuse defenseless people. I am not defenseless.

Does he use the children as "pawns" in his "game" to abuse her?

(June 4, 2013 at 1:08 am)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: There wasn't enough room in the breezeway to get a good swing in. I really didn't want to hurt the guy in front of his kid.

Can't get in "a good swing" np...go for the nuts. I think his kid might have benefited from seeing that this kind of behavior gets you the ole louisville stamp of approval.....but again, I admire your calm man. I really cant draw up that kind of patience.

(June 4, 2013 at 1:12 am)The Germans are coming Wrote:

(June 4, 2013 at 1:07 am)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Yup. Surprisingly, it's not illegal here to threaten someone like that, unless there's some other element present to make the threat credible.

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And what exactly does the law of your land define as a "credible murder threat"?

The police explained it by way of an analogy: If someone texts you and says "I'm gonna burn your house down", not illegal. If they show up on your porch with a can of gasoline and say the same thing, it is.

If you think that's messed up, I would not disagree.

(June 4, 2013 at 1:12 am)The Germans are coming Wrote:

Quote:I'm actually not that concerned about what he might do to me. I'm more concerned about what he'll do to her. He's a coward, and likes to abuse defenseless people. I am not defenseless.

Does he use the children as "pawns" in his "game" to abuse her?

Yes.

(June 4, 2013 at 1:13 am)Rhythm Wrote:

(June 4, 2013 at 1:08 am)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: There wasn't enough room in the breezeway to get a good swing in. I really didn't want to hurt the guy in front of his kid.

Can't get in "a good swing" np...go for the nuts. I think his kid might have benefited from seeing that this kind of behavior gets you the ole louisville stamp of approval.....but again, I admire your calm man. I really cant draw up that kind of patience.

Don't get me wrong, Rhythm - I was furious, and I wanted him to give me a reason to bust him up. That's what's bothering me.