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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 15, 2013 at 10:03 am
A French guy, a Brit, a Mexican, and a Texan are on a plane when they start experiencing mechanical failure. The pilot tells them that they have lost a lot of power to the engines and three of them must jump out to their deaths to save the plane. The French guy stands up and says, "Viva la France!", and jumps out. The Brit, not to be shown up, stands up and says, "God save the Queen!", and jumps out. The Texan stands up and yells "Remember the Alamo!", and throws out the Mexican.
Everything I needed to know about life I learned on Dagobah.
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 15, 2013 at 2:27 pm
(This post was last modified: September 15, 2013 at 2:28 pm by LastPoet.)
A guy is walking up the stairs to a catholic church, another guy falls at the top and comes rolling down, the climbing guy gets out of the way and the other keeps rolling. Other people ask the first guy: "Hey, why didn't you help him?" And the guy answers "Me? I didn't knew if he was paying some penitence!"
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 15, 2013 at 3:02 pm
An RC priest, a Southern Baptist preacher and a Reformed Jewish Rabbi are debating the merits of various prayer positions. The priest says,"Without a doubt my most earnest prayers come when kneel before the crucifix." The preacher said, "My most earnest prayers come while I stand with my arms raised in supplication." The Rabbi says, "Well, I can't speak for myself, but my wife screams out for the Lord loudest when she's on her back coming."
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 15, 2013 at 3:22 pm
I think this one is mine, originally...
What's the best part regarding sex with a decapitated corpse?
The free head.
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 15, 2013 at 7:36 pm
After a terrible accident, I woke up in hospital to find a sexy nurse leaning over me.
"You may not feel anything from the waist down," she said.
"Okay, fair enough," I said, squeezing her tits.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 15, 2013 at 9:51 pm
There once was a hermit named Dave
Who took dead whores to his cave
He said "When they're dead,"
"They give lousy head."
"But think of the money I save!"
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 16, 2013 at 5:19 pm
When I was a little boy, I was sexually molested by a time traveller. He forced me to give him a blowjob and made me feel totally degraded and disgusted.
So I've come up with an idea for revenge.
I've downloaded the plans for a time machine off the internet - I'm going to go back and find this sick fucker as a child and make him give me a blowjob. See how he likes it!
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 16, 2013 at 11:16 pm
A paedophile walks into a confessional...
And proceeds to listen to the day's confessions.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 17, 2013 at 4:37 pm
What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look on their face when they're getting nailed.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Politically Incorrect Jokes
September 17, 2013 at 5:18 pm
What is the difference between a football coach and Satan?
Satan can fuck you from more than 3 inches away!
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” - Marcus Aurelius
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