Politically Incorrect Jokes

[DLJ]

Why do women have legs?

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Have you seen the mess that slugs make?

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Too far?

[KichigaiNeko]

[Ben Davis]

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Tim Vine would be proud!

[Minimalist]

A man with no arms or legs was sitting on a blanket at the beach. Three women; one from from England, one from Wales, and one from Scotland, were walking past, and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No." So she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No." So she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'Ave ya ever been fucked laddie?" The man broke into a big smile and said, "No."

She said, "Aye, well, ya will be when the tide comes in."

[Snidely Whiplash]

What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?

The look on their face when they're getting nailed.

What did the Roman Centurion say to Christ?.......do ya mind crossing yer feet pal, we only have one nail left.

What did the other Roman Centurion say to Christ?.....if you drop that cross once more you bastard, you're out of the Easter Parade!

The fastest thing on two wheels?......a Jew peddling a bike through Germany

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Reasons why Kiwis think Sheep are better than Women:

Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth
You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear
Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather
Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease
Nuttin' beats mutton
Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel
Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be
home early
Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down
Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them
No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe
Sheep are never concerned about their reputation
Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up
Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time
Sheep never insist on eating out
You'll never catch your sheep masturbating

[Kayenneh]

The tax collector knocks on the door and little Billy opens.
"Hello little man, is your mother home?"
"Yeah, she's in the back, fucking a goat."
The collector is taken aback by this.
"What? Aren't you disgusted by that?!"
Little Billy thinks for a moment.
"Naaaaaaaaaaaah."

[Belac Enrobso]

Who can read through 120 stories in 10 seconds or less...

9/11 VICTIMS!

[Cyberman]

Maybe change that to "go through 120 stories"? Just a thought.