I don't think my dad would be as keen to threaten me nowadays if he wasn't much stronger than I am. Not that he actually hits me anymore.

He once accidentally hit me in the face as he was demonstrating how to crank a weed whacker, and I was at the wrong angle. Bow did that hurt. He was pretty fast to assure my mom that it was an accident too. For what it's worth, he never punched me in the face on purpose. You have to beat thir bottoms so the bruises don't show.

(January 16, 2014 at 6:58 pm)plaincents822 Wrote: I used to get hit when I was younger, but when I got too big they just started grounding me. Me and my dad would still scuff it out every once in a while though, but for the most part I really don't thinking hitting kids is that bad. Sometimes pain is a good way to teach, just like when it comes to a hot stove. We feel pain for a reason and it's to learn not to do whatever caused that pain, it's a good way to teach consequences.

In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

(January 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote:

(January 16, 2014 at 6:58 pm)plaincents822 Wrote: I used to get hit when I was younger, but when I got too big they just started grounding me. Me and my dad would still scuff it out every once in a while though, but for the most part I really don't thinking hitting kids is that bad. Sometimes pain is a good way to teach, just like when it comes to a hot stove. We feel pain for a reason and it's to learn not to do whatever caused that pain, it's a good way to teach consequences.

In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

You can always make them reach slowly for the stove, trying to touch it with a finger tip, slowly inching closer... no need to actually touch the thing to learn that it's hot and is to be avoided.

(January 16, 2014 at 8:13 pm)pocaracas Wrote:

(January 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

You can always make them reach slowly for the stove, trying to touch it with a finger tip, slowly inching closer... no need to actually touch the thing to learn that it's hot and is to be avoided.

Indeed. The 'hot stove' analogy of spanking is deliberately putting your kid's hand in a hot stove after it's burned itself on a hot stove to punish it for burning itself on a hot stove. I can't reconcile that with my desire for providing effective & nurturing growth.

(January 17, 2014 at 6:34 am)Ben Davis Wrote:

(January 16, 2014 at 8:13 pm)pocaracas Wrote: You can always make them reach slowly for the stove, trying to touch it with a finger tip, slowly inching closer... no need to actually touch the thing to learn that it's hot and is to be avoided.

Indeed. The 'hot stove' analogy of spanking is deliberately putting your kid's hand in a hot stove after it's burned itself on a hot stove to punish it for burning itself on a hot stove. I can't reconcile that with my desire for providing effective & nurturing growth.

If you die doing that, I'll kill you!

(January 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote:

(January 16, 2014 at 6:58 pm)plaincents822 Wrote: I used to get hit when I was younger, but when I got too big they just started grounding me. Me and my dad would still scuff it out every once in a while though, but for the most part I really don't thinking hitting kids is that bad. Sometimes pain is a good way to teach, just like when it comes to a hot stove. We feel pain for a reason and it's to learn not to do whatever caused that pain, it's a good way to teach consequences.

In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

That's what I'm talking about. You let them burn themselves and they learn not to touch anything hot again.

(January 17, 2014 at 9:47 am)plaincents822 Wrote:

(January 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

That's what I'm talking about. You let them burn themselves and they learn not to touch anything hot again.

That'll be because the consequence of touching something hot is burning yourself.

(January 17, 2014 at 11:16 am)NoraBrimstone Wrote:

(January 17, 2014 at 9:47 am)plaincents822 Wrote: That's what I'm talking about. You let them burn themselves and they learn not to touch anything hot again.

That'll be because the consequence of touching something hot is burning yourself.

In this case, a spanking or a very loud "HEY!" would be better. The child can still associate discomfort with the stove, but without the parent pointlessly risking the child's wellbeing.

(January 17, 2014 at 9:47 am)plaincents822 Wrote:

(January 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

That's what I'm talking about. You let them burn themselves and they learn not to touch anything hot again.

Many activities carry the risk of serious injury, disfigurement or even death therefore it's irresponsible of parents to deliberately put the child through harmful experiences as an educational tool, generally (I'm aware that there are situations where you do have to allow children to make their own mistakes). Obviously we can't prevent every mishap/mistake, in spite of our best efforts, but there are more preventative methods of ensuring survival & survivability; to me, a blanket approach that harms children is tantamount to negligence. That includes corporal punishment.

My parents beat me when I was a kid. I can tell you that it did shit to teach me anything. They say children can't be reasoned with, have you tried reasoning with an adult while trying to crawl under a bed because they're coming at you? So I was a bad child and I deserved it and now I'm a bad child for not forgiving them. I don't see how this works out. I'm on good terms with my mum now, but my relationship with my dad is nonexistent. Why would you beat children who can't defend themselves? Seriously why would you? I babysat some awful children and it never made me want to hit them, there isn't this urge in me to hurt someone, adult or child. If I were to beat my own father then I would be a monster. But when he did it it was "discipline".

Yea, right.

If you can't teach a child properly without using violence, don't have children. It's like if you can't teach your dog properly without beating them, don't get dogs.