Quote:The Vatican Forgives The Beatles, Now They Can Move On To Black Sabbath

Posted 3 hrs ago by Kyle Anderson in Music

Back in 1966, John Lennon cheekily declared that his band the Beatles had become so popular that they had become "bigger than Jesus." From that point forward, Lennon and the rest of the band became persona non grata around Catholic circles. Since this week represents the 40th anniversary of the band's dissolution, the Vatican has decided to let bygones be bygones. "It's true, they took drugs; swept up by their success, they lived dissolute and uninhibited lives," said Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano. "But, listening to their songs, all of this seems distant and meaningless. Their beautiful melodies, which changed forever pop music and still give us emotions, live on like precious jewels."

But it may be all for naught. For one, Ringo Starr isn't interested in absolution. ""Didn't the Vatican say we were satanic?" Starr said to CNN. "And they still forgive us? I think [the Vatican] has more to talk about than the Beatles." Since Ringo isn't interested in getting the Pope's approval, the Vatican should really consider going whole hog and forgiving the following bands.

Black Sabbath: "Sure, Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants thinking it was cocaine, but on the other hand, 'The Osbournes' was pretty funny."

Sinead O'Connor: "She may have torn up a photo of Pope John Paul II while performing on 'Saturday Night Live,' but when you listen to her music, you realize that her cover of 'Nothing Compares 2 U' totally rules."

Mötley Crüe: "We realize now that encouraging people to shout at the devil is actually a good thing. It's not like they're shouting with the devil or for the devil."

Marilyn Manson: "It turns out he didn't cause any high school shootings after all, and Mechanical Animals is totally underrated. However, we still can't find any reference to the 'God of F---' in either Testament."

Slayer: "Nope, you guys remain condemned."

Who says the Church never changes?

Of all the things the Vatican could apologies for they pick the one thing nobody gives a shit about... I bet you catholics are damn proud of your church right now...

They have taken retarded to a whole new level..

I think this is a common conversation in the Vatican

"What should we apologise for?"

"Kid Rape, The Spread of HIV/AIDS through Africa, Trying to remove the rights of LGBs?.."

Nah we'll say sorry to the Beatles because we said a nasty thing about them once, it's the least we could do.

(April 14, 2010 at 4:55 am)Shinylight Wrote: Nah we'll say sorry to the Beatles because we said a nasty thing about them once, it's the least we could do.

So never let it be said the Catholic Church didn't do the least they could do.

For that matter, didn't they forgive the Beatles after John Lennon explained the "more popular than Jesus" thing?

(April 14, 2010 at 7:18 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote: For that matter, didn't they forgive the Beatles after John Lennon explained the "more popular than Jesus" thing?

Well more people came to see the beatles live so John had a point.

What do you expect from an institution that took 360 years to decide they should clear Galileo's name?

I had to laugh at Ringo Starr's response to this mess. As far as I'm concerned he's bigger than Jesus as well, he voices the Fat Controller dammit!

Anyways your average blue whale is way bigger than any man, that includes Jesus. I suppose the Church will excommunicate me for saying that. Ha, shame. ^^

(April 16, 2010 at 4:31 pm)Welsh cake Wrote: Anyways your average blue whale is way bigger than any man, that includes Jesus. I suppose the Church will excommunicate me for saying that. Ha, shame. ^^

I've always wondered what you have to do to get excommunicated. I wish they'd do it to me! Would I get a neat certificate I could frame and hang on my wall?

(April 16, 2010 at 4:39 pm)Thor Wrote:

(April 16, 2010 at 4:31 pm)Welsh cake Wrote: Anyways your average blue whale is way bigger than any man, that includes Jesus. I suppose the Church will excommunicate me for saying that. Ha, shame. ^^

I've always wondered what you have to do to get excommunicated. I wish they'd do it to me! Would I get a neat certificate I could frame and hang on my wall?

I'm pretty sure that you'd have to be a baptized member of the catholic church first.