(June 22, 2014 at 2:09 pm)jmccool80 Wrote: Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five!
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three!

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)
T.J. Hicks: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
Deuce Bigalow: Where?
T.J. Hicks: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
Deuce Bigalow: Man-whoring?
T.J. Hicks: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.

(June 23, 2014 at 10:41 am)Clueless Morgan Wrote: King Arthur: Right. One... two... five!
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three!

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! - French Soldier, Holy Grail

"A Big Kahuna Burger, the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast."

Shoots guy in the head: "Oh, I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"

Both from Pulp fiction which has about 100 more worth quoting.

Oh... there are so many memorable quotes... that I can't remember any right now!

The Last Boy Scout Wrote:Alley Thug: All right, you want it in the chest, or the head?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.
Alley Thug: Hey, would you stop with the wife shit?
Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is.
Alley Thug: Fuck you, man! How fat is she?
Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. Motherfucker, if you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. Now I'm not saying she's fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.

The Lord of the Rings Wrote:“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

“It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."

Inception Wrote:What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere.

Gladiator Wrote:Quintus: People should know when they are conquered.

Maximus: Would you, Quintus? Would I?


####
Maximus: I knew a man once who said, "Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."

Commodus: I wonder, did your friend smile at his own death?

Maximus: You must know. He was your father.


####
Lucilla: Is Rome worth one good man's life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again. He was a soldier of Rome. Honor him.

Monty Python's Life of Brian Wrote:Brian's mother: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Now, piss off!


####
Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?

Reg: Fuck off! 'Judean People's Front'. We're the People's Front of Judea! 'Judean People's Front'.

Francis: Wankers.

####
Reg: They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.
Stan: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.
Reg: Yes.
Stan: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.
Reg: All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?
Xerxes: The aqueduct.
Reg: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
Masked Activist: And the sanitation!
Stan: Oh yes... sanitation, Reg, you remember what the city used to be like.
Reg: All right, I'll grant you that the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done...
Matthias: And the roads...
Reg: (sharply) Well yes obviously the roads... the roads go without saying. But apart from the aqueduct, the sanitation and the roads...
Another Masked Activist: Irrigation...
Other Masked Voices: Medicine... Education... Health...
Reg: Yes... all right, fair enough...
Activist Near Front: And the wine...
Omnes: Oh yes! True!
Francis: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if the Romans left, Reg.
Masked Activist at Back: Public baths!
Stan: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Francis: Yes, they certainly know how to keep order... (general nodding)... let's face it, they're the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)
Reg: All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?
Xerxes: Brought peace!
Reg: (very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh... (scornfully) Peace, yes... shut up!

Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan Wrote:[Kirk unwraps Bones' birthday present]
Kirk: Romulan Ale. Why, Bones, you know this is illegal.

McCoy: I only use it for medicinal purposes.


####
Joachim: We're all with you, sir. But, consider this. We are free. We have a ship, and the means to go where we will. We have escaped permanent exile on Ceti Alpha V. You have defeated the plans of Admiral Kirk. You do not need to defeat him again.

Khan: [paraphrase from Melville's Moby Dick] He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!


####
Kirk: Spock!

Spock: The ship... out of danger?

Kirk: Yes.

Spock: Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh...

Kirk: ...the needs of the few...

Spock: ...Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

Spock: I have been and always shall be your friend.

[Holds up his hand in the Vulcan salute]

Spock: Live long and prosper.

STar Trek V: The Final Frontier Wrote:Kirk: Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!


#### (The next one is mandatory, on this site! )
Kirk: What does God need with a starship?

McCoy: Jim, what are you doing?

Kirk: I'm asking a question.

"God": Who is this creature?

Kirk: Who am I? Don't you know? Aren't you God?

Sybok: He has his doubts.

"God": You doubt me?

Kirk: I seek proof.

McCoy: Jim! You don't ask the Almighty for his ID!

"God": Then here is the proof you seek.

[Shoots Kirk with lightning]

Kirk: Why is God angry?

Sybok: Why? Why have you done this to my friend?

"God": He doubts me.

Spock: You have not answered his question. What does God need with a starship?

"God": [shoots Spock with lightning; then addresses McCoy] Do you doubt me?

McCoy: I doubt any God who inflicts pain for his own pleasure.


####
McCoy: We were speculating. Is God really out there?

Kirk: Maybe he's not out there, Bones. Maybe he's right here.

[points to his heart]

Kirk: Human heart.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Wrote:[Watching a replay of the torpedo hit]

Commander Pavel Chekov: It is Enterprise. We fired them.

Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: That is not possible! All weapons visually accounted for, sir.

Captain Spock: An ancestor of mine maintained that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. If we did not fire those torpedoes, another ship did.


####
Chancellor Gorkon: You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon.

General Chang: "taH pagh, taH be?"


####
Chancellor Gorkon:[to Kirk] You don't trust me, do you? I don't blame you. If there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have the hardest time living in it.


####
Lieutenant Valeris: We must inform Starfleet Command...

Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Inform them of what? A new weapon that's invisible? Raving lunatics, that's what they'll call us! They'll say we're so desperate to exonerate the captain that we'll say anything.

Captain Spock: And they would be correct. We have no evidence, only a theory which happens to fit the facts.

Lots of great lines in No Country for Old Men:

Quote:Anton Chigurh: You need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair.
Gas Station Proprietor: I didn't put nothin' up.
Anton Chigurh: Yes, you did. You've been putting it up your whole life, you just didn't know it. You know what date is on this coin?
Gas Station Proprietor: No.
Anton Chigurh: 1958. It's been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it's here. And it's either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it.

Quote:Carla Jean Moss: The coin don't have no say. It's just you.
Anton Chigurh: Well, I got here the same way the coin did.

The Usual Suspects:

Quote:Verbal: Soze looks over the faces of his family. Then he showed these men of will what will really was.

Pulp Fiction:

Quote:Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.

Dr. Strangelove:

"General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.

Why is the rum gone?

Mole McHenry:

Now I won't have any organs! It'll be like having a Barbie doll crotch!