That's it. These days, nothing happens to me unless I make it happen, including what passes for sex and intimacy. I don't get to see a real naked lady unless I pay to see her. I certainly don't get a kiss unless I ask for one, and normally not even then. Which is how Shell completely surprised me on New Year's Day by asking me if she could have a cuddle.

(January 5, 2015 at 5:30 pm)alpha male Wrote:

(January 5, 2015 at 5:19 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: On the other hand, I submit that infidelity does *not* occur if a partner in Couple D does any of those same things - because those behaviors are mutually, and explicitly agreeable to both parties.

If the couple is married, and depending on what's going on at the strip club, it's still infidelity. You can't simply agree your way out of it.

According to your idea of what infidelity is, perhaps not. Of course, I'm not the one who's fixated on sexual mores imposed by a long dead third party.

Non-monogamous relationships are not by their nature unfaithful - it is the breach of promise and trust that creates the state of infidelity.

(January 5, 2015 at 5:30 pm)alpha male Wrote: The point of a relationship is to be close.

Says you. Who the fuck do you think you are, defining the point of other's relationships?

(January 5, 2015 at 5:30 pm)alpha male Wrote: Open relationship is a bit of an oxymoron.

Says you.

(January 5, 2015 at 5:57 pm)Creed of Heresy Wrote:

(January 5, 2015 at 5:44 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Probably not even accidentally relevant, given how pathologically single I am, but I visited a titty bar in Blackpool last year after being slung out of a pub (long story). Anyway, I forget how much it cost me but one nice lady in there started doing her thang, a private show sort of thing. It was nice, the first hint of intimacy I'd had in like forever, but it felt artificial and I asked her to stop. We had a nice little chat over a drink afterwards.

You too?!

Oh fuck, thank the (blank) I'm not the only one.

You aren't. I don't care for strip clubs myself. Haven't set foot in one in a very long time (with the exception of the times I've gone to speak to my brother, who tends bar in one).

I find the atmosphere to be very artificial, doesn't do a damn thing for me.

(January 5, 2015 at 6:05 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Non-monogamous relationships are not by their nature unfaithful - it is the breach of promise and trust that creates the state of infidelity.

^^This^^

(January 5, 2015 at 4:33 pm)alpha male Wrote: I really can't understand why you'd pay a stripper for a lap dance when you could be home having sex with your wife.

I know right? It's almost like there's some palpable difference between us.....................

Quote:I have done so. You pretend that I haven't.

Link it, if it's in the thread then that should be easy. Maybe I missed it.

Quote:Men can avoid sexual temptation by avoiding strip clubs.

Sorry, I don't think that this is true, and simply saying it does not demonstrate it's veracity.

Quote:Problem drinkers can avoid bars. Dieters can refrain from keeping junk food in the house. Problem gamblers can avoid casinos, or self-ban themselves in some states. This is simple, common-sense stuff. It's amusing to see some of you fight it.

It doesn't seem to have been working. "Common sense" might be common, but it isn't always sensible. I don't want your common sense, my bar for knowledge is much...much higher. Your common sense advice, for example, doesn't apply to me with regards to strip clubs and you can't seem to explain why that is (you just keep imagining that I'm a liar, and go fuck yourself on that count), in fairness...I don't think that you even tried. I couldn't even think of a more dramatic example than a strip club. If your summary of our situation has merit then a strip club ought to be an easy environment in which to bear out that truth - and yet......it's eluded us.....

Now why oh why...do you think that might be?

@Stimbo...yeah, I hate the intimacy routine. I understand that it's a product and some people are buying - girls gotta make a living, but it creeps me out too. I actually had a cute black stripper try to stud me on an overtly racist pitch......I couldn't stop laughing. There are tons of angles and plays that are pretty much industry standards.

(January 5, 2015 at 7:09 pm)Rhythm Wrote: @Stimbo...yeah, I hate the intimacy routine. I understand that it's a product and some people are buying - girls gotta make a living, but it creeps me out too. I actually had a cute black stripper try to stud me on an overtly racist pitch......I couldn't stop laughing. There are tons of angles and plays that are pretty much industry standards.

Yep. I've always resented that one sex could sell it to the other. Especially when I had so much product to move in my youth. I'm pretty sure I give at least as good as I get. But I guess this is just one portion of the status quo which exalts women above men. Meh, win some lose some I suppose.

(January 5, 2015 at 8:09 pm)whateverist Wrote:

(January 5, 2015 at 7:09 pm)Rhythm Wrote: @Stimbo...yeah, I hate the intimacy routine. I understand that it's a product and some people are buying - girls gotta make a living, but it creeps me out too. I actually had a cute black stripper try to stud me on an overtly racist pitch......I couldn't stop laughing. There are tons of angles and plays that are pretty much industry standards.

Yep. I've always resented that one sex could sell it to the other. Especially when I had so much product to move in my youth. I'm pretty sure I give at least as good as I get. But I guess this is just one portion of the status quo which exalts women above men. Meh, win some lose some I suppose.

Fraid it's nothing more than residual evolutionary stakes. If you were a woman you might, if you were highly productive, make ten babies in a lifetime and each one would take you nine months of gestation plus a year or so of nursing. As a guy you can make ten babies a night in your teens and perhaps two or three a night in your twenties. By your fifties the betting is anywhere from one a night to one a week. And if you don't leave your name or number you won't even have to raise them. So women choose their ten very carefully.

The last couple generations, birth control has made it a whole lot more interesting and free on the female side of things because we don't have to have those babies. But we're still the evolutionary product of a world where there was no such thing sex without the risk of babies. So we're picky. Very, very, picky.

Besides, you just know we're the sexier sex, right?

(January 5, 2015 at 11:29 pm)Jenny A Wrote: Besides, you just know we're the sexier sex, right?

Obviously. Any fair comparison of your average male and female ass would confirm that. Throw in tits and its no contest.

(January 5, 2015 at 5:47 pm)Creed of Heresy Wrote: Enjoying multiple flavors?

Not the point of marriage.

Quote:Finding pleasure in seeing their significant other enjoying themselves at the hands of another (fetishization of the happiness of the other; I find that more romantic than getting jealous over them enjoying the company of another, actually...)? There are plenty.

OK, I'll make an exception for cases in which the husband only goes to the strip club with his wife and at her instigation because she likes watching...if we come across any of those.

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(January 5, 2015 at 5:49 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote:

Oh please.

Do you think every dieter is an addict?

If so, how do you define addict in that case, and is it consistent with your definition of sex addict?

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(January 5, 2015 at 5:49 pm)FatAndFaithless Wrote: Well how about we leave that up to Mrs. R and Rhythm, instead of you making bald, snide implications about the quality of their relationship, you insufferable cunt?

Earth to dipshit: I wasn't even talking to Rhythm. He jumped in and addressed me. If he can't take the heat, he should stay out of the kitchen.

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(January 5, 2015 at 6:05 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: According to your idea of what infidelity is, perhaps not. Of course, I'm not the one who's fixated on sexual mores imposed by a long dead third party.

Recall the context of the thread. OP is a married Christian.

Quote:Non-monogamous relationships are not by their nature unfaithful - it is the breach of promise and trust that creates the state of infidelity.

Marriages are intended to be monogamous relationships.

Quote:Says you. Who the fuck do you think you are, defining the point of other's relationships?

Someone who understands definitions of words like marriage and relationship.

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(January 5, 2015 at 7:09 pm)Rhythm Wrote: I know right? It's almost like there's some palpable difference between us.....................

Yep. I love my wife intellectually, emotionally, and physically to the exclusion of others. You don't.

A. Wife at home who (you say) loves you and wants to give you good sex for free.

B. Stranger in a strip club who will rub against you if you pay her.

The correct choice is A. I know you guys hate (others') judgment, but that's how it is. Someone who chooses B over A has something wrong with them.