I've had a weird situation while detoxing from Christianity.

I de-converted from Christianity starting about 4 years ago, gradually, through education and seeking. However, even though I know what is true, I still find myself inwardly hoping my young children will grow up Christian. All I can figure is that it is some kind of bet hedging. Has anybody else experienced this? It is a very uncomfortable thing to mentally fight.

Not me, I never want my kids to grow up gullible and stupid.

Not sure if this helps, but when I was faced with decisions regarding when to expose my children to the nastier bits of existence for the purpose of instruction I always reminded myself that I was raising future adults and not children. The distinction being that it was my responsibility to prepare them as best I could to navigate existence on their own. I gave them a knowledge of Christianity, but I can't think of an argument where indoctrination would support the mission.

I would also consider what would happen if their future selves left religion via discovery as you have done. If your current quandary is born from some protection instinct, imagine the back peddling you'll have to do when they ask why you allowed them to suffer through some form of Christian indoctrination? 

Best to give them the truth. When and how is part of the art of the dream job, but my recommendation is early and often to the extent their cognitive development can handle. There's no playbook, children are unique.

That does sound awkward alright. Gotta hope you don't get your secret wish. My stepson has grown up to be pretty into woo. He is sorely testing my resolve to let others choose for themselves. (Too late now regardless.)

Nope.  Never.

Unfortunately, I did raise my kids to be christians.  Now that I have gone in a different direction they are upset with me.

Be careful what you wish for

(May 7, 2015 at 12:44 pm)Cato Wrote: Not sure if this helps, but when I was faced with decisions regarding when to expose my children to the nastier bits of existence for the purpose of instruction I always reminded myself that I was raising future adults and not children. The distinction being that it was my responsibility to prepare them as best I could to navigate existence on their own. I gave them a knowledge of Christianity, but I can't think of an argument where indoctrination would support the mission.

I would also consider what would happen if their future selves left religion via discovery as you have done. If your current quandary is born from some protection instinct, imagine the back peddling you'll have to do when they ask why you allowed them to suffer through some form of Christian indoctrination? 

Best to give them the truth. When and how is part of the art of the dream job, but my recommendation is early and often to the extent their cognitive development can handle. There's no playbook, children are unique.

That was remarkably helpful, thanks!

(May 7, 2015 at 12:35 pm)Brakeman Wrote: Not me, I never want my kids to grow up gullible and stupid.

Same here.  I've never indoctrinated my children, I just taught them how to think, not what to think, and both are staunch atheists who find the whole idea of religion absolutely idiotic.  While they don't go out and debate theists, the second anything religious comes around, they're both rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

I can relate because as a child I found comfort that when I lost loved ones they went to heaven and watched over me. I have an 18 month old and another on the way and my wife and I are still discussing how we are going to raise them. My gut reaction is to raise them Christian and when they are older and able to understand my theories explain them and the evidence that led me there. I may be underestimating their mental fortitude or may just be acting selfish to avoid the hard conversations. I want them to form their own opinions and will support them no matter what decision they make but while they are at such an impressionable age I'm not sure the right lessons to teach them.

(May 7, 2015 at 1:02 pm)cocunningham Wrote: I can relate because as a child I found comfort that when I lost loved ones they went to heaven and watched over me.  I have an 18 month old and another on the way and my wife and I are still discussing how we are going to raise them.  My gut reaction is to raise them Christian and when they are older and able to understand my theories explain them and the evidence that led me there.  I may be underestimating their mental fortitude or may just be acting selfish to avoid the hard conversations.  I want them to form their own opinions and will support them no matter what decision they make but while they are at such an impressionable age I'm not sure the right lessons to teach them.

Don't raise them as anything, let them make their own decisions.  There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever for the validity of Christianity or any other world religion. Why would you lie to them and tell them otherwise?