Transgendered children

[Regina]

What I don't understand is how a child knows what another gender feels like. Or anybody really. When a biological male says they feel female, what does being a female feel like?

Sure, if you have a man's body you don't know what being physically being a woman feels like. However, you can feel very different to "other men" you know because you just don't fit in with anything they like to do. You have much more in common with the girls, and can relate to them more. Then there is also gender dysphoria which in severe cases can cause a sense of discomfort at your genitals, which I can't see any reason why a child can't feel that. I think it's very ageist and patronising to think a child can't work out how they feel about their gender.

It's very easy for a child to know they are different. We have a gender put on us before we can even talk (this strict rule that we have to wear blue because we have a penis or pink if you have a vagina) and they continue into childhood. Any time a child does something that is not in society's comfortable little bubble of "men do x, women do y", they are policed and told not to behave like the opposite sex. I experienced this a lot growing up as a very feminine boy "you're a boy, don't do that". My parents entertained it and didn't stop me, but I could feel it from wider society, so obviously, that I knew even from a young age that my femininity was something I should hide and be ashamed of.

It's very easy in an environment like that to be conscious that you are different, and that you don't like what society expects you to be. Sure, not all men who exhibit feminine traits see themselves as female as I also explained before (I never have felt female). However, it's definitely not hard to understand a child who feels they are being shoe-horned into a gender identity they are not comfortable with.

[I_am_not_mafia]

What I don't understand is how a child knows what another gender feels like. Or anybody really. When a biological male says they feel female, what does being a female feel like?

That's because your body matches your gender. The things you want to do and the way you want to live your life is not at odds with both your body and society.

[Whateverist]

It is surprising the number of people who have made just one post ever on this site and that one post was to this thread.

You may be right, I_A_N_M, that it is only when one's body and gender identification don't match that one fixates on being a gender. But I have to say I don't ever recall thinking about being masculine. In fact I remember thinking, since I'm male, whatever I do will be 'masculine'. So I wonder if transgender children ever have that thought? In other words, why not take oneself as the measure of what it is to be feminine or masculine?

[Longhorn]

Being transgender is not about being feminine or masculine. It's when the 'sex' of your brain doesn't match the sex of your body, like you noted. It's not something one can control or make go away with adjusting the thinking. Gender dysphoria is a biological issue.

[SteelCurtain]

What I don't understand is how a child knows what another gender feels like. Or anybody really. When a biological male says they feel female, what does being a female feel like?

I think the idea is that they feel "not" what their sex expression is. IOW, I'm a boy and that feels really wrong. Gender is a spectrum, but usually if the feeling is strong enough that it creates mental anguish, that spectrum behaves nominally like a binary. "Not" male = female.

[JeffofGallifrey]

Seriously, people: at any point they could take the child off puberty blockers and the child could develop the secondary sex characteristics of an adult male.

I don't think genital reconstruction surgery on a small child would be a good idea. That needs to be an 18 or older thing because it's a HUGE decision. But what puberty blockers do is... delay the natural process so that the child can choose a biological gender later, and if the child chooses female she won't be stuck with a deep voice. And I think that's very reasonable.

Besides, they have a doctor's say so. Doctors aren't perfect, but that indicates that this isn't "just something the kid's parents decided."

[80sChild]

Be aware that the Daily Mail is the UK equivalent of fox 'news' so the way they word it "(and his lesbian parents)" is intended to throw doubt on the child's true gender identity and lay the blame on lesbians.

Also be aware that most trangendered children know by that age that they the gender they feel does not match with their physical gender, or at the very least that something is seriously wrong. And if they go through puberty then they will have a much harder life as a result. Waiting until after puberty before doing anything leads to a massively increased chance of suicide later on.

---

Children should be protected from nutty parents.....no matter what their particular obsession is.

The parents are nutty for being lesbians?

But what if there wrong? What if he was just going through a faze ? There is no going back after that!

[Longhorn]

That's why they're postponing the decision by delaying puberty. Precisely to make sure it isn't a phase. It's the most reasonable solution possible in this situation.

[Regina]

I feel like this discussion is going around in circles and I'm getting tired of it

For the last freaking time, it's not a "faze" when you have felt a particular way consistently for years on end.

You also don't have to think of yourself as "masculine" if you are a cisgender (and heterosexual) man. Everything you are typically interested in as a cis/het man is given automatic credibility, because you are seen as natural and the default. That doesn't mean your gender doesn't exist, it just means it's never questioned or side-eyed. Therefore, you don't have to internalize your gender and think about it the way a transgender person is forced to. You can just be yourself and float through life quite comfortably, not challenged on it.

[SteelCurtain]

But what if there wrong? What if he was just going through a faze ? There is no going back after that!

Be honest. Did you read the article at all?

They aren't lopping this child's penis off. They are delaying puberty until she is old enough to make an informed decision. All the while, she'll be going through transition counseling. Transition counseling, by all accounts, is not all roses and vaginas. They lay all of the stark realities out for you to start coping before you make the final decision. The idea that even though you will feel the right sex finally for the first time in your life, the vast majority of transgender individuals still cope with mood and anxiety disorders, general depression, and emotional regulation issues. It's not a cure all.

But I cannot imagine living my whole life looking at my penis like a foreign object. I have heard transgender males relate stories of feeling a phantom penis (much like a amputee feels their phantom limb). This is an issue that my ability to feel empathy for these individuals runs into a wall because I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like to feel this way. I just know that the pain must be fucking immense. It enrages me that people are so dismissive of this issue without taking the time to learn about it.

But that is really the hallmark of theism, isn't it?