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RE: joke time
October 8, 2015 at 2:41 pm
Another man lay on his deathbed, his wife sitting beside him holding his hand. He gazes into her loving eys and, painfully, he says to her:
He: Mary, you've been beside me through all the bad things in my life. When we first met and I lost all my money in that stock market crash, there you were by my side.
She: Yes, my sweet.
He: And when my parents were lost in the fire that destroyed my childhood home, you were with me.
She: Sshhh, I know, darling; I know.
He: And when our home was repossessed and we spent two years living on the streets, eating rancid food from trash cans, you were never far from my side.
She: There's no other place I'd ever want to be, my dearest.
He: And now, in my final moments in this world, here you are again, right beside my deathbed. Mary... in the light of your total devotion, there's only onle thing I have to say...
She: Yes, my sweet Prince?
[His voice is barely-audible now, a croaking whisper. She puts her ear to his lips.]
He: Mary... you're a fucking jinx.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
October 9, 2015 at 9:36 am
Say a prayer for Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown is no more
for what he thought was h2o
Was h2so4
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
October 9, 2015 at 10:57 am
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
October 9, 2015 at 11:14 am
Weird. I'm using my android; maybe that's it?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 25314
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Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
October 9, 2015 at 11:42 am
Androids have feelings too...
/Red Dwarf reference.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 3676
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Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
October 11, 2015 at 12:39 pm
If Adam and Eve had been Black:
God: Adam, I’m going to make you a partner, but I need one of your ribs.
Adam: What? My rib! Aw no, man. Hell to the no. I ain’t givin' up my ribs. You have to think up something else. Forget that. That’s not gonna happen.
Serpent: Eve, have you tried the fruit on the tree in the middle of the garden?
Eve: Aak! A snake! Help! Ricki! Richi Tiki Tavi! It’s a snake and it's trying to give me a poison apple! Help! Ask!
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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