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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 14, 2015 at 11:55 pm
(October 14, 2015 at 11:52 pm)loganonekenobi Wrote: that one almost brought me to tears in laughing since i am also a D&D game runner but then i tried to imagine such a pair of guantlets and what the hammer may look like.
![[Image: stock-photo-5468342-hand-holding-small-h...408cd3.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i642.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fuu141%2FKILLINTIME1%2Fstock-photo-5468342-hand-holding-small-hammer_zps48408cd3.jpg)
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 14, 2015 at 11:59 pm
Well, if we're talking stats and proficiencies, here, what kind of hammer is it?
Is it a Dwarven Thrower? A Gnomish Hooked Hammer? A Light Hammer? A Warhammer?
Can I dual-wield?
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 12:08 am
(October 14, 2015 at 11:59 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: Well, if we're talking stats and proficiencies, here, what kind of hammer is it?
Is it a Dwarven Thrower? A Gnomish Hooked Hammer? A Light Hammer? A Warhammer?
Can I dual-wield? ![[Image: latest?cb=20130608075833]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fbaldursgategame%2Fimages%2F1%2F13%2FHammer_of_Thunderbolts_item_artwork_BG2.png%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20130608075833)
The Hammer of Homosexuality
Combat type Melee
Proficiency Type Warhammer
Handing 1-handed
Damage 2D4+3 and +5 electrical damage.
THAC0 +5 bonus.
Damage type Crushing
Speed 1
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die."
- Abdul Alhazred.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 12:37 am
(October 15, 2015 at 12:08 am)RaphielDrake Wrote: (October 14, 2015 at 11:59 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: Well, if we're talking stats and proficiencies, here, what kind of hammer is it?
Is it a Dwarven Thrower? A Gnomish Hooked Hammer? A Light Hammer? A Warhammer?
Can I dual-wield?
The Hammer of Homosexuality
Combat type Melee
Proficiency Type Warhammer
Handing 1-handed
Damage 2D4+3 and +5 electrical damage.
THAC0 +5 bonus.
Damage type Crushing
Speed 1
Ah. I really pictured it as more of a 2-Handed weapon:
![[Image: Dildo-e1322304422523.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=thisismyjoystick.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2FDildo-e1322304422523.jpg)
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 12:38 am
Shouldn't it be +5 flaming damage? 
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 12:42 am
(October 15, 2015 at 12:38 am)KevinM1 Wrote: Shouldn't it be +5 flaming damage?
Well played, sir. Well played. 
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 12:54 am
(This post was last modified: October 15, 2015 at 12:58 am by TheRocketSurgeon.)
![[Image: 00092374.jpg?v=1258039266284]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=bligoo.com%2Fmedia%2Fusers%2F4%2F211491%2Fimages%2Fpublic%2F22757%2F00092374.jpg%3Fv%3D1258039266284)
The Hammer of Homosexuality
+5 Greathammer (Flame Tongue)
Proficiency Type: Martial Two-Handed Melee
Damage (Medium) = 1d12 + 5 bludgeoning, +1d6 fire damage
Critical: ×3
Range Increment: -
Weight: 30 lbs
Type: Bludgeoning
HP: 10
Hardness: 10
Flame Tongue: This is a +5 flaming burst Greathammer. Once per day, the weapon can blast forth a fiery ray at any target within 30 feet as a ranged touch attack. The ray deals 4d6 points of fire damage on a successful hit.
Moderate evocation; CL 12th; Craft Magical Arms and Armor, scorching ray, and flame strike, or fireball; Price 20,715 gp; Cost 10,515 gp + 816 XP.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 1:19 am
(October 15, 2015 at 12:54 am)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote:
The Hammer of Homosexuality
+5 Greathammer (Flame Tongue)
Proficiency Type: Martial Two-Handed Melee
Damage (Medium) = 1d12 + 5 bludgeoning, +1d6 fire damage
Critical: ×3
Range Increment: -
Weight: 30 lbs
Type: Bludgeoning
HP: 10
Hardness: 10
Flame Tongue: This is a +5 flaming burst Greathammer. Once per day, the weapon can blast forth a fiery ray at any target within 30 feet as a ranged touch attack. The ray deals 4d6 points of fire damage on a successful hit.
Moderate evocation; CL 12th; Craft Magical Arms and Armor, scorching ray, and flame strike, or fireball; Price 20,715 gp; Cost 10,515 gp + 816 XP.
Reminds me of this:
![[Image: analintruder.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=elengendromecanico.miciudadreal.net%2Ffiles%2F2008%2F10%2Fanalintruder.jpg)
Top Secret! is a criminally underrated movie.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 3:07 am
It was supposed to include a "fisting" joke, but I guess that one flopped. I s'pose "flaming" is plenty enough.
The whole concept of "the hammer of homosexuality", as the OP suggested is a weapon that will help to defeat Christianity by showing their bigotry and ignorance, is unfortunately short-sighted, in my opinion.
Just like they did with slavery, once the generation that fiercely defended Biblical inerrancy on the subject dies off, the following generations will change their minds, and then time will forget that the old generation existed. They will declare that they were always against homophobia, just as modern Christians refuse to acknowledge that the US Civil War was motivated in large part by Southern Christians who felt that the Bible specifically required permanent, heritable, race-based slavery (Leviticus 25:44-46, among others). In another generation, you'll have a hard time finding a Christian under 60 who is anti-gay; in another generation you'll have young Christians telling you there was never any serious Christian homophobia, just a few miscreants who weren't "real" Christians.
By then, I'm sure there'll be some other major issue for the religion to dig up and attack as the latest, greatest crisis their leaders assure them is setting the nation "against God", and which will let them vent their fear, prejudice, and myopia in a way that causes them to be able to feel morally superior while basking in their willful ignorance.
And, just like today, they'll have good-hearted Christians apologizing on their behalf.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
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RE: the hammer of homosexuality
October 15, 2015 at 3:20 am
(October 14, 2015 at 9:37 am)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: (October 14, 2015 at 5:37 am)loganonekenobi Wrote: i like it. now i want pie. so which am i supposed to have? cherry pie?
Check your genitals. They will tell you what kind of pie is Godly.
What if I don't want Enormous Cock Pie?
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