How honest should parents be?

[Athene]

Fuck off, EP.

[Athene]

Not to mention you sound a bit like a maniac. Shouldn't be looking after kids in the first place, if you ask me.

Consider me crushed.

[Excited Penguin]

Lol, fuck you. I was being nice and you went batshit crazy all of a sudden.

[Faith No More]

Well, that escalated quickly.

I believe in being full honest with my kids, but there is definitely the right time for everything. My four year-old went through a phase where he was freaking out about death, and no matter how much my wife and I assured him he didn't have to worry about it for a long time, he wouldn't stop freaking out about it. Still, my wife and I never lied to him about it. We told him yes, he would die, but not for a long, long time. That didn't really comfort him.

Some subjects are too heavy for kids to deal with if they're not old enough, so a little bit of fudging the truth can be warranted.

[Excited Penguin]

Well, that escalated quickly.

I believe in being full honest with my kids, but there is definitely the right time for everything.  My four year-old went through a phase where he was freaking out about death, and no matter how much my wife and I assured him he didn't have to worry about it for a long time, he wouldn't stop freaking out about it.  Still, my wife and I never lied to him about it.  We told him yes, he would die, but not for a long, long time.  That didn't really comfort him.

Some subjects are too heavy for kids to deal with if they're not old enough, so a little bit of fudging the truth can be warranted.

It sounds to me like you didn't tell him the truth after all. What authority do you have it on that he will in fact die? If you thought about it more you might've told him you don't know .

[SteelCurtain]

Gawds, you're a douche, EP. Jibbers Crabst.

I agree with most everyone. You don't volunteer information they're not ready for, but don't lie to them if they're coming to you for clarification about something they heard. Socratic method is always my favorite. It's also a really phenomenal brain game to try and figure out how to lead a toddler to his or her own (age appropriate) conclusion about the questions they have.

[Athene]

Lol, fuck you. I was being nice and you went batshit crazy all of a sudden.

Don't pretend you're normal.

You're a pathetic, needy little attention whore, desperate to be heard. I'm guessing that's why you're such a monumental nuisance and pest. 

You know, you could probably score one of those hugs you crave, if you quit acting like a motherfucker all of the time...just saying.


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paulpablo- Sorry for mixing it up with this fucking gnat on your thread. I'll bow out, so your thread's not further derailed. It's a good one.

[Divinity]

Parents should tell their children the truth about most things.  How much they tell them depends on how old they are.  

For example a 5 year old doesn't need to know more about where babies come from than that they come from mommy and daddy.  But an 11 year old is more ready to hear about sex.

Is global warming something we really lie to our children about, unless we lie to ourselves?  I mean a positive environmental message is a good thing for kids.

[Joods]

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all answer. There are too many factors to take into consideration. Age, mental maturity, emotional maturity, social arena, where a kid lives ( yes there are huge differences between living in a thriving metropolis and living on the side of a mountain, hours from civilization), who they live with, what values (or lack of) they know or have, how likely they are to listen to an adult etc.

There is no one single book on how to raise a kid perfectly and kids don't come with instruction manuals at birth. I believe parents do the best they can, given what they have to work with.

I have four kids. Each one gets parented slightly different. Rules are still the same for all family members, however, my 14 year old has Oppositional Defiance Disorder, ADHD, PTSD (thanks to his bio mom), and is Bipolar. He's got issues with school and has a hard time making friends. He's on a few meds which seem to help, but he cannot be left unattended because he starts agitating his little brother. My 13 year old is a distinguished honor role student, has played two different instruments in school, been in honors choir and has no medical issues. However, she's Thirteen, can be moody and isn't happy unless she's getting her way. Typical teenager.

My 11 year old has Tourettes syndrome, makes friends easily, gets along very well with his sisters and wants to be a video game programmer when he grows up. However, no flowers grow in his garden of common sense and I find that some of his questions make my brain hurt.
My oldest is 20. Although I have not had access to her in 16 months (I'm working on that), she has Down syndrome and autism. She's at about the mental age of a second grader. She will always need home care and will not be able to live independently.

So you see, four kids from the same household but each one needs slightly different parenting. As a parent, constantly adapting to fit the needs of the kids is something you automatically sign up for when you bring a kid into the world. Once you become a mom or dad, your life changes in such a way that looking out for "number one" (yourself) just doesn't seem as important anymore.

When you have to choose between buying the latest electronic gadget or getting new clothes for your kid, and you don't have enough money for both, you quickly realize where your priorities should be.

[Cato]

That sounds like overdoing it. Did you consult how many kids do in fact get kidnapped on average, before you went ahead and told them that?

This is incredibly stupid. Try and console a parent who's child is missing/harmed/dead with your precious statistics and let me know how it works out. Statistical parenting, hilarious. Your statistics don't apply for any given family since the input is discrete; is your child safe? Yes or no. Thena acted appropriately. Perhaps you missed the bit where she exhausted other methods prior to being blunt about potential dangers.

And you feign ignorance of why people react to your input as they do prompting that hideous 'Go For It' thread. Actions of a narcissistic cunt.