How honest should parents be?

[paulpablo]

I've always felt that it is my duty as a parent to prepare my children for a world without me in it. I can't and won't always be around. It's best to level with them, in my view.

Timing/age-appropriateness should be taken into account, though. The bliss of childhood innocence is wonderful, until it threatens to cause problems for them.

When my boys were younger, they didn't always heed my warnings about wandering off/stranger danger until I told them precisely what happens to children that go missing (without being completely graphic). They faces fell, but they finally got it after that. 

I hated for them to know that, but they needed to.

That sounds like overdoing it. Did you consult how many kids do in fact get kidnapped on average, before you went ahead and told them that?

It's not always direct kidnapping and killing that results in children going off with strangers.  I personally know of several people who have been flashed by strangers and just had minor sexual confrontations with adults when they were children and I would definitely warn my children of these type of adults.

I'm around 80% sure that I was approached by some sort of sexual predator when I was younger and out playing with my friend, we had just entered a back ally and this random guy who looked about 30 came walking up and said "Hey how are you doing, pass the ball, do you fancy some sweets?" he basically sounded like the most stereotypical pedo that teachers and parents warned us about so we just ran right the fuck out of there.
Maybe me and my friend overdid it, and we could have had got some nice sweets from a guy and had a nice chat, on the other hand what the fuck is a guy who's around 30 years old doing approaching children in allyways behind houses for? 

No offense to you intended but it is totally fucking dopey to consider it "overdoing it" to tell your kids what might happen if you do go off with strangers and that not all adults are to be trusted.  I know that you're going off the statistics that not many children are kidnapped by strangers but like I say it's not all about kidnapping, I just wouldn't want my kids to be taken somewhere with an adult who wants to show them something, or give them sweets or touch them in some way or anything like that.

[Losty]

You need to work on this. You're not qualified to give anyone parenting advice. Your advice on this topic sucks donkey balls. And then you have to give it in the most insulting way possible.

[Joods]

That's neither here nor there.

Is this your way of wishing Losty hadn't made a valid point?
So who are you to say how anyone should be raising their kids when you have zero experience in this because you aren't a father. This is at least the second thread you've posted shitty advice in.
When it comes to parenting advice, don't. Just don't. Your "wisdom" on the matter is as about effective as a blank piece of paper.
When someone wants advice on how to be an obnoxious teenager who can't resist the temptation to contract foot-in-mouth disease, feel free to impart all your wisdom then.

[Excited Penguin]

That sounds like overdoing it. Did you consult how many kids do in fact get kidnapped on average, before you went ahead and told them that?

It's not always direct kidnapping and killing that results in children going off with strangers.  I personally know of several people who have been flashed by strangers and just had minor sexual confrontations with adults when they were children and I would definitely warn my children of these type of adults.

I'm around 80% sure that I was approached by some sort of sexual predator when I was younger and out playing with my friend, we had just entered a back ally and this random guy who looked about 30 came walking up and said "Hey how are you doing, pass the ball, do you fancy some sweets?" he basically sounded like the most stereotypical pedo that teachers and parents warned us about so we just ran right the fuck out of there.
Maybe me and my friend overdid it, and we could have had got some nice sweets from a guy and had a nice chat, on the other hand what the fuck is a guy who's around 30 years old doing approaching children in allyways behind houses for? 

No offense to you intended but it is totally fucking dopey to consider it "overdoing it" to tell your kids what might happen if you do go off with strangers and that not all adults are to be trusted.  I know that you're going off the statistics that not many children are kidnapped by strangers but like I say it's not all about kidnapping, I just wouldn't want my kids to be taken somewhere with an adult who wants to show them something, or give them sweets or touch them in some way or anything like that.

Yeah, that's why you keep an eye on them. And yes, sometimes it may happen that you let them play somewhere where no one keeps an eye on what's happening, which you shouldn't do to begin with to avoid those kinds of situations, but then you don't need to get unnecessarily graphic about what might happen to them and inadvertently traumatize them anyway. Thus my comment about how she might've overdone it.

This is getting on my fucking nerves. You're arguing against something I didn't necessarily say. Maybe you should pay closer attention to what I did say. I said she was overdoing it, for example, not blaming her for doing it at all, which I should and I am, albeit to a lesser degree, but I didn't and we didn't get around to that yet, until just now.

[Excited Penguin]

That's neither here nor there.

Is this your way of wishing Losty hadn't made a valid point?
So who are you to say how anyone should be raising their kids when you have zero experience in this because you aren't a father. This is at least the second thread you've posted shitty advice in.
When it comes to parenting advice, don't. Just don't. Your "wisdom" on the matter is as about effective as a blank piece of paper.
When someone wants to advice on how to be an obnoxious teenager who can't resist the temptation to contract foot-in-mouth disease, feel free to impart all your wisdom then.

I ignored everything you said after the first paragraph, because you're clearly an idiot. I had responded to our debate about parenting earlier on, this one reply was clearly addressed at her ad hominem since I had already addressed what we were previously discussing.

[Joods]

What a truly awful thing to say. You're full of shit, boy. But hey, keep making enemies. By all means. You'll be your own downfall here because you lack the maturity necessary to conduct yourself like an adult. You lack tact and common sense. I'm not the idiot here. Youre just pissed because you got called out for your bull shit, once again, on a topic you don't know shit about.

Go play in traffic, asshole.

[Regina]

If I ever adopt a child (I'm not having my own), I think I'll just tell half-truths until I think they're old enough to handle it. Not outright lies, but just with-holding the nastier bits until I think they can take it.

On certain things (like politics or religion) I'd want them to learn for themselves and come to their own conclusions

[Excited Penguin]

If I ever adopt a child (I'm not having my own), I think I'll just tell half-truths until I think they're old enough to handle it. Not outright lies, but just with-holding the nastier bits until I think they can take it.

On certain things (like politics or religion) I'd want them to learn for themselves and come to their own conclusions

With all due respect, that's a bad idea. Certain things should be taught, as there is no reason not to, since they are clearly the truth. I can think of numerous things about politics and religion that you should teach your kids about, for fear of your fucked up society to indoctrinate them into problematic beliefs. It would be a good idea to be sure to examine your own political and religious beliefs before you do so, though, of course, and see if they stand up to scrutiny.

[paulpablo]

It's not always direct kidnapping and killing that results in children going off with strangers.  I personally know of several people who have been flashed by strangers and just had minor sexual confrontations with adults when they were children and I would definitely warn my children of these type of adults.

I'm around 80% sure that I was approached by some sort of sexual predator when I was younger and out playing with my friend, we had just entered a back ally and this random guy who looked about 30 came walking up and said "Hey how are you doing, pass the ball, do you fancy some sweets?" he basically sounded like the most stereotypical pedo that teachers and parents warned us about so we just ran right the fuck out of there.
Maybe me and my friend overdid it, and we could have had got some nice sweets from a guy and had a nice chat, on the other hand what the fuck is a guy who's around 30 years old doing approaching children in allyways behind houses for? 

No offense to you intended but it is totally fucking dopey to consider it "overdoing it" to tell your kids what might happen if you do go off with strangers and that not all adults are to be trusted.  I know that you're going off the statistics that not many children are kidnapped by strangers but like I say it's not all about kidnapping, I just wouldn't want my kids to be taken somewhere with an adult who wants to show them something, or give them sweets or touch them in some way or anything like that.

Yeah, that's why you keep an eye on them. And yes, sometimes it may happen that you let them play somewhere where no one keeps an eye on what's happening, which you shouldn't do to begin with to avoid those kinds of situations, but then you don't need to get unnecessarily graphic about what might happen to them and inadvertently traumatize them anyway. Thus my comment about how she might've overdone it.

This is getting on my fucking nerves. You're arguing against something I didn't necessarily say. Maybe you should pay closer attention to what I did say. I said she was overdoing it, for example, not blaming her for doing it at all, which I should and I am, albeit to a lesser degree, but I didn't and we didn't get around to that yet, until just now.

 
 it's impossible to always keep an eye on your children. It would mean following them for the first 12 years of their life, It's common for children of 11 or 12 to take public transport on their own and be miles away from parents and go where they want.

Thena said she told her kids precisely what happens (without being too graphic) about what happens when children are kidnapped.

So now you're saying well that might be over doing it because it might be too graphic, well she specifically said she explained it without being too graphic.

So you're arguing about something which was specifically already dealt with in the first post which you were replying to.

[Regina]

@Penguin - I'd like to think it wouldn't get to that point tbh. I'd definitely not have any big religious influences in my house, and they wouldn't be going to a religious school since I strongly disagree those should exist.

I don't see what the big deal is about what Thena told her kids either. She clearly said it wasn't too graphic. Kids have no sense of danger, sometimes they do need to be told.