I called a friend who is a believer...

[Old Baby]

I "came out" to one of my best friends last Sunday about my non-belief.  She seemed understanding but very concerned.  We talked for about 3 hours and then parted ways.  Tonight I called her because I was concerned about how she was taking the news.  She became emotional and started preaching to me about how I was like Adam in the Garden of Eden, who didn't want to submit to God, so I've been thrown out of the Garden and now I can no longer hear God's voice.  She said that Jesus Christ is my only answer now, and that I would never have my questions answered until I submitted to Jesus Christ because he's the only way back to God.  I calmly listened and then said, "Ok well thanks for the witnessing", then politely said goodnight.  

I know she means well but it still hurts because I feel like our relationship is irrevocably broken.  I explained in depth why I began to struggle and question my beliefs, but she did not acknowledge the rationality behind this.  The idea is that I'm completely to blame for my failure to believe, that I'm unreasonable for asking God to show himself to me, and now I'm the only one who can repair my relationship with God by throwing myself at Jesus' feet.  I told her that I didn't want anything to change between us but she said that she couldn't promise it wouldn't, but she's praying for me.  

She told me that she had always looked up to me, but now I only feel the judgment.

[dyresand]

That's how it is a real friend i really hate to say it is a good person who looks past the religious ideologies and cares for the person
even if they leave the faith. The best thing to do is give her space and show her how much of a good person you are without
the belief in a god it will take awhile and i get that religious people care about you that's the thing. It's really sad for the non believer
and the believers friends and family. The friends and family will eventually have to accept you for who you are and well that's it.
If you ever need to talk or what ever drop me a PM.

[Chad32]

It's kind of weird when someone says you need to submit to someone you can't be sure exists, before you can find reason to believe he exists. That's brainwashing 101.

[Minimalist]

When you reject their fairy tales many of them take it personally.  Such people prefer fantasy to reality.

[Old Baby]

It's kind of weird when someone says you need to submit to someone you can't be sure exists, before you can find reason to believe he exists. That's brainwashing 101.

Weird thing is, even though I agree with you 100%, I haven't been out of my belief long enough to laugh off what she says.  I have to stop and consider if she's right, even though it seems totally irrational to me.  Is my unbelief a delusion I've created to bury my deep seeded desire to be a sinner?  Yes, that seems ridiculously irrational to me, because I can honestly say that it's in my best interest to know and believe in what is true, no matter what that is.

[Alex K]

Ugh how annoying. What do you do with people who are so much in this irrational frame of mind that they can't think in terms of anything else? Avoiding the subject sounds like a good idea here.

[Alex K]

It's kind of weird when someone says you need to submit to someone you can't be sure exists, before you can find reason to believe he exists. That's brainwashing 101.

Weird thing is, even though I agree with you 100%, I haven't been out of my belief long enough to laugh off what she says.  I have to stop and consider if she's right, even though it seems totally irrational to me.  Is my unbelief a delusion I've created to bury my deep seeded desire to be a sinner?  Yes, that seems ridiculously irrational to me, because I can honestly say that it's in my best interest to know and believe in what is true, no matter what that is.

You can think about it this way - even if some religion were correct, the probability that you of all people happen to be brought up in the true faith is minuscule. To you it appears to be believe X or not to believe X, where X to you ist the most obvious thing to beluege in lieu of nothing. Whereas to any outsider it is one of thousands of weird tales obviously cobbled together by people over the course of the last centuries.

[Godscreated]

I "came out" to one of my best friends last Sunday about my non-belief.  She seemed understanding but very concerned.  We talked for about 3 hours and then parted ways.  Tonight I called her because I was concerned about how she was taking the news.  She became emotional and started preaching to me about how I was like Adam in the Garden of Eden, who didn't want to submit to God, so I've been thrown out of the Garden and now I can no longer hear God's voice.  She said that Jesus Christ is my only answer now, and that I would never have my questions answered until I submitted to Jesus Christ because he's the only way back to God.  I calmly listened and then said, "Ok well thanks for the witnessing", then politely said goodnight.  

I know she means well but it still hurts because I feel like our relationship is irrevocably broken.  I explained in depth why I began to struggle and question my beliefs, but she did not acknowledge the rationality behind this.  The idea is that I'm completely to blame for my failure to believe, that I'm unreasonable for asking God to show himself to me, and now I'm the only one who can repair my relationship with God by throwing myself at Jesus' feet.  I told her that I didn't want anything to change between us but she said that she couldn't promise it wouldn't, but she's praying for me.  

She told me that she had always looked up to me, but now I only feel the judgment.

Maybe your feeling of judgement from her is actually guilt on your part. You are the one who chose to change not her, so why wouldn't you expect her to react differently towards you, it's only natural.

GC

[rexbeccarox]

Unbelief is not a choice, GC, and the fact that you are still asserting that after all of your time here makes you extremely intellectually dishonest.

[Cecelia]

Anyone who treats someone they consider a friend differently because of their religion isn't really someone worth dealing with. If people can't accept you for who you are, then I say 'screw em'"