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Current time: December 15, 2024, 3:42 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
Scene from the 1930s

Little Johnny goes to pick little Suzy up for a date. While she is upstairs doing her last minute make-up check, her father talks to Johnny.
Father: So where are you taking her?
Johnny: to the Dancapade.
Father: Wonderful. You know my Suzy loves to screw.
Johnny: Is that so?
Father: Oh yeah. Does it all the time. She’ll really appreciate your taking her somewhere she can screw to her heart’s content.
Johnny: I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the heads up.

Suzy comes down and they go out.

20 minutes later Suzy comes storming home in a rage with her clothes torn.
Suzy: It’s called the Twist, dad. The Twist.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
RE: joke time
It can be an easy mistake to make: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_shag
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
(January 14, 2016 at 11:19 am)Stimbo Wrote: It can be an easy mistake to make: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_shag

Yes, it happens to the best of us.
http://rhondadenisejohnson.com/Dance.mp3
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
RE: joke time
'What have an ostrich, a penguin and the Inland Revenue got in common? They can all stick their bills up their arse.' - Billy Connolly

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
I was discussing palindromes with my friends Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen yesterday.

I don't even know what a fucking palindrome is.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Not to kill the funny, but that's rather a disturbing avatar, mate. You ok?

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Who, me? I'm Cyberman. No emotions allowed.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Quote:Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London .

Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.




Quote:I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.  

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
Reply
RE: joke time
(January 15, 2016 at 9:11 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I was discussing palindromes with my friends Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen yesterday.

I don't even know what a fucking palindrome is.

This man is a Genius. That's all I've got to say.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
RE: joke time
When the job application asked about sex, Mary checked M and F and penciled in a W for Wednesdays.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply



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