Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 1:03 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1061
RE: joke time
January 24, 2016 at 10:26 am
Why do they call it Wifi? Why not fi?

I do not understand why they call them "fire exists", why would you want the fire to exit? Isn't the entire idea to contain the fire?
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1062
RE: joke time
January 24, 2016 at 10:51 am
(January 24, 2016 at 10:12 am)Rhondazvous Wrote:
(January 23, 2016 at 11:47 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I'm not falling for that one again...

“Again?”

If at first you don’t succeed, sky-diving is not for you.

Yea, that really isn't something you can fuck up on. Not like a Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner cartoon. SPLAT will put a big damper on your day.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Expired Away
GCSE Failure
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 1495
Threads: 12
Joined: January 18, 2016
Reputation: 18
#1063
RE: joke time
January 25, 2016 at 9:23 am
What's green and smells of pork?

Kermits middle finger.
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 185
#1064
RE: joke time
January 25, 2016 at 4:06 pm
[Image: FXmpMHb.jpg]
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#1065
RE: joke time
January 25, 2016 at 4:09 pm
(January 24, 2016 at 10:51 am)Brian37 Wrote:
(January 24, 2016 at 10:12 am)Rhondazvous Wrote: “Again?”

If at first you don’t succeed, sky-diving is not for you.

Yea, that really isn't something you can fuck up on. Not like a Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner cartoon. SPLAT will put a big damper on your day.

Actually I have a friend who survived a skydiving mishap.  His parachute failed to deploy properly.  He broke his back.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1066
RE: joke time
January 25, 2016 at 4:47 pm
(January 25, 2016 at 4:09 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(January 24, 2016 at 10:51 am)Brian37 Wrote: Yea, that really isn't something you can fuck up on. Not like a Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner cartoon. SPLAT will put a big damper on your day.

Actually I have a friend who survived a skydiving mishap.  His parachute failed to deploy properly.  He broke his back.

Ouch, well at least it did something to break his fall enough so he didn't die. He got lucky. You really have to check and recheck your equipment and pack it correctly. Was it a backup parachute that slowed him down or was he stuck with the first one?
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Rhondazvous Offline
Help Me, Rhonda
****
Religious Views: Happy Heathen
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation: 42
#1067
RE: joke time
January 25, 2016 at 5:45 pm
This man went fishing, right and caught a whole big basket of fish, but he didn't have a license. The game warden came over to see what was what.
Game Warden: What do you think you're doing with all those fish?
Man: You don't understand, sir. These are my pet fish.
GW: Pet fish?
Man: Why yes. See I bring them here and let them swim around in the water for a while, then I whistle and they jump back in and I take them back home.
GW: I don't believe that. You're full of crap.
Man: It's true.
GW: Show me.
So the man dumped the fish back into the water. After five minutes nothing happens.
GW: So, what now. Are you going to call them back?
Man: Call who back?
GW: The fish, dummy.
Man: What fish?
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#1068
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 5:35 am
[Image: y1b68.jpg]
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1069
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 10:36 am
You hear about the new Catholic confessionals? The windows are groin high.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
downbeatplumb Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: What is a God anyway?
Posts: 13901
Threads: 263
Joined: January 11, 2009
Reputation: 82
#1070
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 2:15 pm
(January 24, 2016 at 10:08 am)Rhondazvous Wrote:
(January 23, 2016 at 10:06 am)Brian37 Wrote: I love how innovative humans can be, but why the fuck won't anyone invest in my idea? Who wouldn't want to invest in stringless parachutes?

Give it time. Right now the market is hyped up for solar powered flashlights.

I actually had a solar powered torch. It did store the energy in a battery though.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18801 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 266 Guest(s)