Dating as an atheist.

[Seraphina]

Hi Organic Machine,
Do you know anything about your neighbor's religious beliefs other than she said she thought your bumper stickers were cool?

I've never brought up religion immediately after first meeting someone - it's something that usually comes up organically over time when getting to know someone. I know on dating websites you can specify religious preferences - including the cringe-worthy "spiritual but not religious". I'm fortunate to live in an area where there isn't a very high percentage of bible-thumpers.
It sounds like you not wanting children is more of a deal-breaker for you.

But who knows - maybe you and your neighbor would hit it off - stop trying to talk yourself out of it! Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

[CapnAwesome]

I've had good luck in finding Atheists to date. I don't know. I'm pretty outspoken and I think that other Atheists in my social group are actually attracted to that outspokeness. Also in the under 35 crowd on the west coast there is a plethora of Atheists and agnostics. I'm also good looking.

[Excited Penguin]

Don't know exactly what you are asking. Atheism simply means not believing in god. That says nothing else about the person.

Still, a Christian might date you in the hopes of proselytizing you. that's a set up for mutual disappointment.

It says about them that they're not a moron.

[Little lunch]

If I had to find a religious person here in Australia, I'd probably die lonely....
Of the few remaining who aren't pensioners, they'd be cafe christians at best...

While I sought of agree with you, it's still easy to find a person in Australia who believes in horoscopes, ghosts, astral traveling, tarot cards, etc.

[ignoramus]

Oh shit yeah!

I never said Aussies were smart! Hehe

Nearly everybody I know believes in some form of woo outside of religion...

[Thumpalumpacus]

I've had good luck in finding Atheists to date.  I don't know. I'm pretty outspoken and I think that other Atheists in my social group are actually attracted to that outspokeness. Also in the under 35 crowd on the west coast there is a plethora of Atheists and agnostics. I'm also good looking.

<singing> Two outta three ain't bad ...

[robvalue]

Does anyone find it difficult because of being an atheist? Honestly, I think I could deal with someone believing in a vague higher power that they don't try to define in anyway and that they didn't pray to or worship or anything. If someone was religious enough to claim it by denomination though, I can't do it. Mutual beliefs and interests are very important to me. Would definitely prefer an atheist.

On top of that, I'm very introverted and I don't ever want kids. And I sort of tend to fall quick and hard on the rare occasion that it happens. Just sort of want to find someone where it's just me and her the majority of the time. Someone with no real social obligations, that keeps to themselves minus whoever they are dating. Just the two of us together, being nerdy. I sort of don't ever expect to find anyone. Thought I did, but it didn't work out for other reasons. I got a best friend out of it though.

Anyone else have dating issues because of being an atheist?

My first serious relationship was with a Christian. She was pretty wishy washy about it, and I thought I could get past it. But she made it an issue a while into our relationship. It was far from the only reason we broke up, but it was a warning to me. I decided I was best off sticking to non-religious people. Like you say, a deist type wouldn't bother me. But the fundamental beliefs of religions are so utterly warped and fucked that I don't think I could be fully committed and confident about a relationship. I'm more than happy to be friends with religious people, of course.

I've never wanted kids either, luckily I found someone who felt the same.

[Jello]

Never had any problems dating based on faith. My girlfriend could be religious for all i know, i've never asked, nor do i really care

[Rhondazvous]

Don't know exactly what you are asking. Atheism simply means not believing in god. That says nothing else about the person.

Still, a Christian might date you in the hopes of proselytizing you. that's a set up for mutual disappointment.

It's not because I don't think they can't be a good person or anything like that. It's just that we would hold incredibly different worldviews. Like I said, mutual beliefs and interests are important to me. I don't relate to most people so I'd like to relate to a partner as much as possible.

---

Not really, myself, unless she's overly religious, in which case I wouldn't ask her out anyway. I wouldn't discuss religion, or my lack of faith, on the first two or three dates myself ... I would focus on common interests and simply having a good time.

Your first several dates, at the very least, will almost never be stay-at-home anyway, and angling for that is a good way to give a woman pause. Shoot for social or outdoor dates where you're with others (not as a group, just around others) until your relationship starts growing legs. Take your time, and don't get spun out on one gal -- crushes are natural when you're younger but they sure can tie your emotions into knots.

Go slow and take it easy. Confidence is the big attractor, so I'm told.

I wish I was that kind of person. I'm very introverted and don't do things where the main intention is to be social. It can be draining. I'm also not that young. I'm 34. I just don't have much experience with actual dating. I'm pretty bad at this sort of thing because my only two relationships have not been traditional. One was long distance with a year before we first met, the other happened out of nowhere and moved incredibly fast.

Right now, I have an attractive neighbor that I'm pretty sure is showing interest in me. One of the things she said in passing was that she noticed my bumper stickers, which I guess you could say are pretty indicative of my lack of belief, she said she thought I'd be a cool person. I know she's single too. We hung out last night but with someone else that she knew there. Time will tell I guess. I just don't know if I'm feeling it. I worry that she's almost too.... normal. As ridiculous as that sounds.

Remember what Christopher Hitchens said, every person you meet is a mammal. Normal doesn't mean perfect. Or like my mother told me, 9 times out of 10 the people you think you have to impress will be too busy trying to impress you to be impressed by you.

I doubt if I'd do very well in the traditional dating scene either. My hearing impairment would make communication different than what might be considered "normal," and I'd be quite impatient with someone who's sitting there sizing me up for something I cannot control. If I wanted to "find somebody" it would be in a no pressure setting and he would already show me that he is cool and thinks I'm cool before we start "dating."

[Exian]

Super religious people have always weirded me out. Even when I was a Christian talking amongst other Christians about some possible lady friend, the phrase "Yeah, but I hear she's reeeal religious..." was thrown around quite often. Either as a red flag or a challenge.