Satan Stole My Waffle

[Crossless2.0]

Satan's involvement in breakfast is well established. I encountered the truth when someone handed me my first plate of fried chicken and waffles -- a combination both tempting and somehow entirely wrong. I gave in and ate it but immediately regretted my weakness and have foresworn the diabolical dish ever since.

Fried chicken? Any time. Waffles? Damn right, stack a couple more on there. But together? Get behind me . . . .

However, judging by the Sunday brunch buffets I've been to in Baton Rouge, there are a lot of Baptists who are willing to play Russian Roulette with their souls.

Did I just witness a southerner bagging on chicken and waffles?!?

[Affects his best fake drawl]: Who you callin' southerner, boy? I's a Midwesterner and done lived in Nevada befo' here.

[Longhorn]

I see you're with the competition

[REDACTED], I AM the competition.

We are not speaking.

[Minimalist]

Some of the best laughs I've had in a long time came from this thread!

Are you sure that the republicunts didn't take it along with your health care?

[account_inactive]

You yanks really eat waffles for breakfast?

O.o

Of course not, do you think we're savages or something?

Chicken and waffles are for dinner.

That's just weird.  

[Rhondazvous]

You see, that just boggles my mind.  I grew up in the United Methodist church, and you would have been laughed out if you said something like that.

I didn't even realize that there were actual grown adults that believed in demons until I was in my late teens.

All these different denominations and one book. It takes a book like the bible that is so open to interpretation anybody can find what they want in there. Everything except reality.

[Crossless2.0]

Satan waffle steals

Jesus eggs and toast redeems

grapefruit scoffs through tears

Purloined waffles taste

Of devilled tricks and two eggs

Poached and not returned

[Rhondazvous]

For people with OCD, waffles are the devils handy work. Do you know how much time it takes the get the same amount of syrup into each square? 

By the time it's ready, it's cold, and you have to start over.

Waffles are not for the squeamish. They're the breakfast of champions.

[ignoramus]

Enuff waffling on!

Any breakfast which doesn't include bacon should not be called breakfast!
You don't break from fasting by eating more fasting food! Sheesh!

[Rhondazvous]

Enuff waffling on!

Any breakfast which doesn't include bacon should not be called breakfast!
You don't break from fasting by eating more fasting food! Sheesh!

Hey, pig in a blanket. Wrap you a couple strips of bacon in a waffle and have a little fried potatoes and onions on the side. Sounds like the start of a very good day.

[energizer bunny]

I put 4 waffles in my toaster oven this morning. But when I dumped them onto a plate, there were only 3. At first I thought it was just my bad eyesight. But I felt and looked everywhere and that renegade waffle wasn't nowhere. It had grown legs and walked away.

When I was a teen the Sunday school teacher told us when something is missing and we can't find it, it's because demons are hiding it and we need to rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus.

So I rebuke you, Satan. In the name of Jesus you unhand my waffle. You have no right to keep me from finding my waffle. It's mine and I bind your power over it in the name of Jesus.

There now I should be able to find it. It's probably right there on the plate.

lol omg this is funny. I had a similar experience when Satan tried to steal my lucky charms cereal. But i caught him red handed. (yes, his hands were literally red) and i smashed his hands with my fist (which made it redder). He never messed with me again after that. You can mess with a lot of things but nobody dare messes with my lucky charms.....They're magically delicious.