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RE: joke time
April 9, 2017 at 4:24 pm
(April 9, 2017 at 3:39 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: (April 8, 2017 at 9:54 pm)Cyberman Wrote: You ought to be on the stage.
There's one leaving in an hour.
That's similar to one of my lines:
"There's a train leaving in half an hour. Be under it."
There's a Kevin Bloody Wilson line I'm wondering if I should try:
"My face will be leaving in a quarter of an hour. I'd like you to be on it."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
April 9, 2017 at 4:31 pm
Ele is an aspiring entrepreneur, she manages to get on the show Shark Tank. Her pitch is that she wants to create a candy company called "Periodic Table".
Off the bat Mark Cuban one of the hosts expresses concerns, "You know, I like your candy, but I have to be honest, the name sucks, why did you pick it?"
Ele says, "Well, I wanted a candy company based on the Ele-Mints".
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RE: joke time
April 9, 2017 at 5:35 pm
Just to let you all know, I'll be in Waterstones in Wolverhampton this Saturday signing books, from 9am till security spots me and kicks me out.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
April 9, 2017 at 6:37 pm
(April 9, 2017 at 4:24 pm)Cyberman Wrote: (April 9, 2017 at 3:39 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: That's similar to one of my lines:
"There's a train leaving in half an hour. Be under it."
There's a Kevin Bloody Wilson line I'm wondering if I should try:
"My face will be leaving in a quarter of an hour. I'd like you to be on it."
Good old Kev,
"Because I've got a tongue that's ten inches long, and I've learned to breathe through me ears!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2017 at 7:31 am
I've always resisted the urge to try cocaine, but holy shit, it smells out of this world!!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2017 at 1:16 pm
What do you call James Bond when he's in the bathtub?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2017 at 1:17 pm
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2017 at 2:17 pm
Give over - you know you laughed. That joke was the highlight of your day.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2017 at 3:20 pm
A sad reflection on what an average day is like for me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2017 at 3:21 pm
It did make me chuckle though.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
