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RE: joke time
June 7, 2017 at 12:59 pm
Also that broken glass tastes like blood.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
June 7, 2017 at 5:36 pm
(This post was last modified: June 7, 2017 at 5:39 pm by Rhondazvous.)
You're on a roll. Keep'm coming.
And life may be like toilet paper, but aluminum foil is not.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
June 7, 2017 at 7:09 pm
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
June 8, 2017 at 9:32 pm
An Irishman walks into a bar, sits down at the bar, and asks for two glasses of beer. When they arrive he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, green man. Quietly the two start drinking, one beer for each.
This gets the attention of a drunk at the other end of the bar.
"Hey," he shouts to the Irishman, "Where did you get the ugly green man from?"
The small green man looks up from his drink, angry. He runs across the bar, looks into the drunk's face and gives him a long raspberry, "Pfftplplplpl!" before returning to his drink.
The Irishman looks at the drunk, who's still wiping himself off, and say, "He's not a little man. He's a leprechaun!"
The drunk looks at the Irishman and the leprechaun and says, "Well, he's a damned ugly leprechaun!"
Again the leprechaun runs across the bar, looks into the man's face and gives his a long, wet, raspberry, "Pfftplplplpl!" before returning back to his drink.
Really pissed off now, the drunk stand up and say, "If the little shit does that again I'm going to cut his prick off!"
The Irishman smiles and says, "Leprechauns don't have prick."
Surprised, the drunk says, "Then how do they piss?"
The Irishman smiles and says, 'They go "Pfftplplplpl!"'
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
June 8, 2017 at 10:46 pm
It's the middle of the night and a man is walking down the dark, deserted streets of Belfast.
He jumps when a voice behind him suddenly says, "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?"
Thinking fast, he says, "Neither. I'm a Jew!"
And the voice behind him says, "Well, I must be the luckiest Palestinian in Belfast!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
June 9, 2017 at 10:01 am
So this loaf of bread got a entry level job as a CPA, in less than a year he got a promotion to management, his boss asked him what he was going to do with the raise, the bread said, "I am going to the Kentucky Derby." The boss asked, "That's great, what made you chose that?" The bread said, "Well, you did say I got the promotion because I was a thorough bread".
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RE: joke time
June 9, 2017 at 7:00 pm
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
June 9, 2017 at 7:06 pm
(June 9, 2017 at 7:00 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: Why did the day break?
I'm sure Stim would've incorporated Dawn's crack in there somewhere...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
June 10, 2017 at 2:50 pm
(June 9, 2017 at 7:06 pm)ignoramus Wrote: (June 9, 2017 at 7:00 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: Why did the day break?
I'm sure Stim would've incorporated Dawn's crack in there somewhere...
Oh, yeah, it was so funny the dawn just cracked up and the twilight zoned out.
Should we call him Cyb now?
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 25314
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Joined: August 26, 2010
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156
RE: joke time
June 11, 2017 at 7:13 pm
Please don't!
I'm sure I could work in the crack of Dawn somewhere, if I didn't imagine it beneath me...
Brb...
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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