Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 12:57 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#1811
RE: joke time
August 17, 2017 at 4:32 pm
Not really a joke, but funny, nonetheless-

[Image: 83CNrp9.jpg]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#1812
RE: joke time
August 17, 2017 at 4:38 pm
Is that what the Trumptards ride to Stool?
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1813
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 6:22 am
What did Judy Garland say when she won the Oscar for The Wizard of Oz?

"I'd like to thank all the little people."
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#1814
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 7:15 am (This post was last modified: August 18, 2017 at 7:17 am by Cyberman.)
Went into a garden centre this morning. An assistant came over and asked me if I wanted decking. I managed to get the first punch in, but then I was the one grabbed by two of his mates, ordered to leave the shop and not come back.

Unbelievable.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
Rhondazvous Offline
Help Me, Rhonda
****
Religious Views: Happy Heathen
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation: 42
#1815
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 10:56 am
This lady was in a shoe store and told the salesman she needed very comfortable shoes because she has water on the knee.
Salesman: (thinking) Water on the knee? hmm. Try these. They're pumps.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1816
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 11:05 am
How many Neo Nazis or KKK members does it take to screw in a light bulb? Try getting them to put one in that is not white.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#1817
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 11:09 am
How are you supposed to screw in a lightbulb anyway?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
downbeatplumb Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: What is a God anyway?
Posts: 13901
Threads: 263
Joined: January 11, 2009
Reputation: 82
#1818
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 11:41 am
(August 18, 2017 at 11:09 am)Cyberman Wrote: How are you supposed to screw in a lightbulb anyway?

The usual way. Its getting in there that's the problem.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#1819
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 12:03 pm
(August 18, 2017 at 11:09 am)Cyberman Wrote: How are you supposed to screw in a lightbulb anyway?

How can 45 screw up America? At least with the sane we can figure out how not to screw things up.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#1820
RE: joke time
August 18, 2017 at 12:12 pm
(August 18, 2017 at 11:41 am)downbeatplumb Wrote:
(August 18, 2017 at 11:09 am)Cyberman Wrote: How are you supposed to screw in a lightbulb anyway?

The usual way. Its getting in there that's the problem.

That's watt I was thinking.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18801 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 280 Guest(s)