Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 4:07 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
and the other cunts who interrupt other people whilst they're in the middle of a sentence? Dunno
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
(October 11, 2017 at 4:23 pm)Fireball Wrote: There are two types of people in the world-

1. Those who can extrapolate


There are three kinds of people in the world:  Those who understand arithmetic and those who don't.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Man goes up to a woman.

Would you sleep with me for a million pounds.

She thinks about it, it would clear all her debts so she says "ok"

"how about twenty pounds?" he asks.

"what kind of grl do you think I am?" she asks angrily

"We've already established that" said the man" Now we're just haggling over costs"



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








Reply
RE: joke time
A Priest says to his friend, the Rabbi, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants."I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, a glass of port and a cigar. Come 2 o'clock in the morning, as they are clearing everything away to close up, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left.' Because I am a man of the cloth, they take my word for it, and I leave."
 
The Rabbi is impressed, and says, "Let's try it together this evening."
 
So the Priest books them into a restaurant and come 2 o'clock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal.
 
Sure enough, a waiter comes over and asks them to pay. The Priest just says, "I've already paid your colleague who has left."
 
And the Rabbi adds, "And we are still waiting for the change".
Reply
RE: joke time
HEY GUYS, I have an awesome idea! How about we all invest in a casino where gambling is banned?

Or, how about lotto tickets where whatever shows up you owe?
Reply
RE: joke time
What is pi squared?

A Pop Tart
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Reply
RE: joke time
(October 12, 2017 at 3:32 am)ignoramus Wrote: and the other cunts who interrupt other people whilst they're in the middle of a sentence? Dunno

I get that all the fucking time. Which is irritating in itslef, but then they make a judgement based on what I did manage to say before they fucking cut me off. So I just fucking let them run with it.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Maybe if you stopped yammering so much, to let others get a word in edge-wise, they wouldn't have to interrupt you.

Wink
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
Reply
RE: joke time
(October 12, 2017 at 5:40 pm)Brian37 Wrote: HEY GUYS, I have an awesome idea! How about we all invest in a casino where gambling is banned?

Or, how about lotto tickets where whatever shows up you owe?

Trump School of Economics graduate?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(October 12, 2017 at 8:29 pm)Lutrinae Wrote: Maybe if you stopped yammering so much, to let others get a word in edge-wise, they wouldn't have to interrupt you.  

Wink

Or set an example by beating someone who interrupted you to death with a baseball bat, filming it, and then playing it to people before you start talking to them.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2749 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18802 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 277 Guest(s)