Help me catch the office coffee thief

[I_am_not_mafia]

If the handle of your pot is black get an ink roller and put black ink all over it then walk away. When you want coffee grab a paper towel. Somebody will start talking about the guy/gal with ink all over their hands. You'll probably catch them trying to wash off.

Instead of blank ink, try Black Death instead.

Or superhot chilli sauce. Once it is on your skin it is really difficult to get off. Washing it won't help that much

I actually have loads myself from growing superhot chillies but you can buy a small bottle of it.

If you get it on your own skin then I found rub plenty of hand lotion on the area first before washing off with soap. The lotion combines with the chilli oil and makes it easier to wash off.

[SteelCurtain]

Give 'em Jalapeno Hands!!!!!

[Edwardo Piet]

I'd suggest living a rich and fulfilling life with travel and friendship.  Then you really wouldn't care about silly things like that.

. . . is this why you also suck at logic? Because you're too busy living such a life to care whether what you say makes any sense or not?

Sorry, not sorry, about my tone here. *high pitched squealing* you started it!

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Or superhot chilli sauce.

Give 'em Jalapeno Hands!!!!!

I actually legit have a whole pack of Carolina Reapers, the world's hottest chilli pepper, in my fridge. There is no fucking way I'm going to eat those things as I've already had a Ghost Pepper before and THAT was hot enough. I've been wondering what to do with them . . . maybe it's a sign.

[J a c k]

I put up a laminated sign saying the coffee is mine. If it continues, I was thinking of making a list of all these ideas and taping them in individual sheets of paper all over the wall behind the coffee maker. Meanwhile, four people have asked me today if I can make coffee for them, too, and they’ll bring coffee and filters. Lol Fiiiiiiine. As long as I get coffee and nobody tries to change the way I make it.


I really want to put ink on the handle, though. I’ll wait and see what happens after today.

[Brian37]

I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.

My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!

So, what should I do?

DEATH ROW!

Hate to say it, but unless you know your state laws on secretly recording people, or unless the building itself has security cameras, I'd say make and drink your coffee before you leave for work. Outside that suggest a larger community coffee pot and place a cost mug so that everyone is contributing to buying it. I wouldn't suggest revenge for something so petty.

[J a c k]

I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.

My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!

So, what should I do?

DEATH ROW!

Hate to say it, but unless you know your state laws on secretly recording people, or unless the building itself has security cameras, I'd say make and drink your coffee before you leave for work. Outside that suggest a larger community coffee pot and place a cost mug so that everyone is contributing to buying it. I wouldn't suggest revenge for something so petty.

It’s not petty. I’m not making anybody coffee for kicks. My time is limited in the first hour of the day. Can’t wait around because people don’t have manners.

[I_am_not_mafia]

I actually legit have a whole pack of Carolina Reapers, the world's hottest chilli pepper, in my fridge. There is no fucking way I'm going to eat those things as I've already had a Ghost Pepper before and THAT was hot enough. I've been wondering what to do with them . . . maybe it's a sign.

I used to grow Carolina Reapers. And before that Trinidad Scorpion Butch T which used to be the world's hottest. I made sauce from it. If I had some I'd bland them in vinegar and mix them in with some other chilli sauce.

[vorlon13]

polonium

and then wait to see who's hair falls out . . .

[CapnAwesome]

I'd suggest living a rich and fulfilling life with travel and friendship.  Then you really wouldn't care about silly things like that.

. . . is this why you also suck at logic? Because you're too busy living such a life to care whether what you say makes any sense or not?

Sorry, not sorry, about my tone here. *high pitched squealing* you started it!

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I literally have never started a conversation with you on this site, or spontaneously replied to anything you say. Why would I? It's just a bunch nonsensical insults.

But yeah, my life is pretty awesome. I definitely never stress over stolen coffee and silly office bullshit. Of course I would never work in an office.

[J a c k]