Being an Atheist parent in a Christian land

[Erinome]

In the interest of raising well rounded children, I make sure that I inform them about several different cultures and beliefs. They are going to run into people of diversity in the real world, so I try to make sure they have early knowlege/understanding of such things, even if they don't believe it.

A culture that we talk about a lot is Christianity, obviously, as we live among them, and their father is a Christian. The two oldest asked me why I don't like the bible, stating that their father told them it was "the good book". I encourage my kids to ask questions about everything they don't understand, and keep asking until they do, but since that is something I encourage, I have to be willing to answer their questions truthfully.

I sat them down and explained to them why I find the bible to be not a good book at all, and then backed up my opinions with the evidence of the words of the bible itself. A lot of people think I am wrong for this, but I read them some verses of the bible that pertained mostly to children, since that is something with which they can relate. Psalm 137:9, Deuteronomy 21:18-21, and 2 Kings 2:23-24 to name a few, and explained in modern english essentially what I just read meant. They understood, and came to the conclusion that just by saying such repulsive things, the bible is not "the good book".

Last weekend I had my friend over, along with her children, all about the same ages as my own. She is, of course, a creationist/christian, although we avoid the subject when together in order to maintain our friendship. (We've been friends for 16 years). Her daughter and my son got into a disagreement, and she told him that she didn't have to do what he said, and the only rules anyone had to follow are in the bible, to which my 7 year old son replied, "If that were true, your mom would kill you for being bad. That's what the bible says."

It caused quite a controversy between my friend, her husband, and I. We separated ourselves from the children to discuss it, and they were furious with me for defending my son. Why shouldn't I have defended him? He was technically correct. Turns out, they were really furious with me for reading them such things, even though what I read them came straight out of the very book on which they supposedly base their entire lives.

I apologize for being so long winded! My question is simply this:

Should I have waited to answer such a question for my children before they understand such human concepts, like social sensibilities? Should I have given them some vague answer and expected them just to take my word for it?

They left, and won't speak to me. The last thing she said to me was "You're sick! You should let them make their own decisions about what they believe!"

Besides that statement being endlessly amusing coming from a Christian, Isn't that exactly what I am doing? I have never told them they should think like me. All I have done is told them what I believe, just as their Christian father has done, the only difference being that I have offered them evidence for my beliefs, while their father has none to offer.

I want to hear lots of opinions on this!

[R-e-n-n-a-t]

You did the right thing. If they encounter Christians, Muslims, etc, then they will not have a balanced point of view unless somebody also shows them the atheist pov. I've heard of too many atheist parents who try to let their child make his or her own decisions, only to realize later that a teacher or grandparent has taken advantage of this to brainwash them without opposition.

[Minimalist]

No. And it is hard to stay friends with idiots as you are learning.

These are people for whom fantasy is more important than reality. You can't deal with them on a rational basis.

[Diamond-Deist]

It's hard to argue though religion does infuse children with a sense of right and wrong I know it did me, but then again it's hard to compare morals when you cannot experience it twice, I only have my on view to go on.

[searchingforanswers]

I gotta agree with Min on this one. Its hard staying friends with idiots. All you did was read them some of the bible. They wouldnt have cared if it was happy jesus part of the bible.

[Minimalist]

They think there are no other parts.

Even a campaign of genocide is excused by fanatics.

[Diamond-Deist]

Sorry Aleoloura I was answering the thread title not the post, I read what u said ......

In all honesty I think that sense of "shame on you" and guilt trip crap is what's given space to and led main stream religion to thrive and commit some of the worst brain washing and travesties known to man.

They have a strength which they get from their sense of morals I believe as Deists/Atheists champion reason above dogma and foolishness we have to start believing in our sense of right and wrong and put our foot down.

Why should we feel bad if they stomp off in a huff, they probably wouldn't think twice if it was the other way around as they are so righteous.

Maybe reading this situation the only thing a bit iffy was maybe the aggressive stance you put over to your child about the killing thing? that's probably what got them upset, It's totally up to you but children don't know when to use tact but there are plenty other examples to teach apart from ones so alarming?

[Erinome]

They hear all the happy Jesus parts of the bible from their father. The question that was posed by my son, to me, was:

Dad says the bible is "The Good Book", why don't you think it is the good book?

It's the parts of the bible that I read to them that are alarming. They are also a few of the reasons why I do not think the bible is a good book. To them, it doesn't matter what the positive messages of the bible are, if it condones such horrific things. They know, because I've encouraged them to think logically that if my son were to tell my daughter he loved her, I would think it was sweet and adorable, but if he said "I ****ing love you.", it wouldn't matter that he said he loved her, because the word he used before 'love' is a "bad word".

I can see the evidence that my kids are remarkably moral. If I had read them those verses, and they thought it was okay, then I would be worried that I was doing something wrong.

[MilesTailsPrower]

They left, and won't speak to me. The last thing she said to me was "You're sick! You should let them make their own decisions about what they believe!"

It's sorta hard to make a decision at such a delicate age, when they can believe anything without putting any rational critical thinking skills to it.

[Diamond-Deist]

Hmmm one thing I would mention, I used the word tact because children being innocent don't have much of it, i would not teach such a militant stance simply because young children are still developing how to integrate with their peers and the world around them.

If you give your kids strong anti christian views they will have repeated issues like the one you had already.

That's just my opinion, I'm not saying what you did was wrong just that kids lack of tact was probably something you didn't account for at the time meh?