It's deja vu all over again.....
Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 12:33 pm
Thread Rating:
joke time
|
(March 30, 2020 at 1:27 pm)Darinda Wrote: After a long career, Seamus retires to a village in west Cork, where - with his unfailing kindness and gentle good humour - he quickly becomes established in the good graces of the community. After tending his bit of garden and chatting with the neighbours, he spends most of his afternoons at the local. He reads the newspaper, plays draughts or dominoes with the other patrons and has three pints of Guinness. OMG, that’s BRILLIANT!!! Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Boss Lady's been home too long. She just yelled from the living room.
"Do you feel stabbing pains in your chest, like someone's sticking needles in your voodoo doll?" I replied "No, nothing like that." A few minutes later, "How about now?" RE: joke time
March 30, 2020 at 3:21 pm
(This post was last modified: March 30, 2020 at 3:22 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
Andrew is walking along the road when he meets his oldest and dearest friend.
‘Howaya, Andy?’ ‘Not so well, Freddie, not so well at all.’ ‘Whatever’s the trouble, then? ‘It’s me Bridget. It’s a week today since she passed.’ ‘Mother of God, ye should have been after getting word to me. I’m your oldest mate! Now I feel turrible that I’ve missed the wake and the funeral.’ ‘What’re ya talking about? The wake’s this very morning and the funeral will be in the afternoon.’ ‘But you said she passed a week ago!’ ‘She did, so. But when we married 35 years ago, we made a vow that one day, we’d have enough laid by to enjoy a solid week of peace and quiet together. This is the first time she’s shut up in 35 years, and I’ll be damned if I was going to miss me chance.’ Boru NB: The above joke is public domain. If anyone would like to copy/paste it without attribution, no legal action will be taken.
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(March 30, 2020 at 2:27 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(March 30, 2020 at 1:27 pm)Darinda Wrote: After a long career, Seamus retires to a village in west Cork, where - with his unfailing kindness and gentle good humour - he quickly becomes established in the good graces of the community. After tending his bit of garden and chatting with the neighbours, he spends most of his afternoons at the local. He reads the newspaper, plays draughts or dominoes with the other patrons and has three pints of Guinness. OMG, that's so SARCASTIC!!! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" (March 30, 2020 at 4:19 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:(March 30, 2020 at 2:27 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: OMG, that’s BRILLIANT!!! OMG, that’s so EXPECTED!!! Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(March 30, 2020 at 5:12 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(March 30, 2020 at 4:19 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: OMG, that's so SARCASTIC!!! OMG, that's so BITCHY!!! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" (March 30, 2020 at 5:29 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:(March 30, 2020 at 5:12 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: OMG, that’s so EXPECTED!!! OMG, that’s so TRUE!!! Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A koala is sitting in a tree smoking joints when a lizard notices him.
"What are you doing?" Asks the lizard. "Sitting in my tree getting high!" Replies the koala. "Come on up and join me!" Not one to turn down an invitation, the lizard climbs the tree and starts smoking joints with the koala. After the fourth joint, the lizard says, "I need a drink of water." He walks slowly across the branch but is so stoned he slips and fall into the river below. He's swept quite a way down river but is rescued by a crocodile, who notices his weird behaviour. "What's wrong with you?" The crocodile asks. The lizard explains about the koala getting high in the tree and the crocodile decides he needs to see this. So he swims up river until he reaches the tree where the koala is still smoking his joints. The koala watches the crocodile emerge from the water and shouts, "Wow, dude. How much fuckin water did you drink?" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
OMG, that was EXCELLENT!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. |
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
Possibly Related Threads... | |||||
Thread | Author | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! | Jehanne | 10 | 2748 |
April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm Last Post: arewethereyet |
|
A sacred joke. | Mystic | 15 | 3310 |
January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm Last Post: Cyberman |
|
Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke | Brian37 | 1 | 1607 |
May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm Last Post: vorlon13 |
|
There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! | Minimalist | 3 | 2539 |
October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm Last Post: Zidneya |
|
Joke | Minimalist | 59 | 18801 |
June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am Last Post: Ravenshire |
|
A little joke | Sup | 11 | 4743 |
April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4 |
|
Evolution (is a) joke | JesusLover1 | 12 | 9434 |
March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm Last Post: Minimalist |
|
Preacher joke 02 | Drich | 2 | 1993 |
February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am Last Post: NoraBrimstone |
|
Preacher joke 01 | Drich | 8 | 4844 |
January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am Last Post: Drich |
|
Make Up An Atheist Joke | freedomfromforum | 5 | 3050 |
October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am Last Post: Angrboda |
Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)