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joke time
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Not a lot of blokes realize it, but women have a very subtle code they use when they're absolutely about to have sex with you. Keep it to yourself, but it's:
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I’ve known thousands of women in the biblical sense.
And by ‘biblical sense’ I mean ‘made-up women who never really existed.’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (April 10, 2020 at 5:55 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I’ve known thousands of women in the biblical sense. You ever do Helen White? How was she? [/George Carlin]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
If my grandmother knew how much I spent on her funeral, she’d be spinning in her ditch.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I cried the first time I made love to a woman. It may have been the physical release, it may have been the emotional connection...
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I once told a joke to a dwarf, but it went over his head.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 RE: joke time
April 11, 2020 at 10:54 pm
(This post was last modified: April 11, 2020 at 10:54 pm by ignoramus.)
^
I hope it didn't throw him for six! 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
My gran used to knit me jumpers every Christmas, and they were dreadful. One year, she made me this burgundy monstrosity - sleeves different lengths, collar crooked, bit of yarn unraveling here and there. But the worst bit was, she had embroidered it across the front with the words ‘FOREIGNERS GO HOME’.
I hated to hurt her feelings, but this was over the line. I told her, ‘Gran, I can’t wear this... Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I was going to donate a kidney, but I changed my mind because the people at the hospital were asking all sorts of stupid questions, like, ‘Where did you get this?’ and ‘Why are your hands all bloody?’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (April 13, 2020 at 8:53 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I was going to donate a kidney, but I changed my mind because the people at the hospital were asking all sorts of stupid questions, like, ‘Where did you get this?’ and ‘Why are your hands all bloody?’ You need to go to Beccs' Online Chop Shop. "No questions asked, no answers given" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
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