Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: June 15, 2024, 8:03 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34863
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#3751
RE: joke time
May 3, 2020 at 8:40 pm
Why do kilts have buttons?

Because sheep can hear zippers at a hundred metres.
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9462
Threads: 20
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#3752
RE: joke time
May 3, 2020 at 9:40 pm
Why are there Marines on Naval ships?

Sheep are too obvious. Still trying to figure out why a Marine told me that one.  Huh
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44478
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#3753
RE: joke time
May 3, 2020 at 9:41 pm
Why bring a sheep to the edge of a cliff? It makes the sheep push back.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
AniKoferBo Offline
⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛
**
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 297
Threads: 7
Joined: December 20, 2013
Reputation: 6
#3754
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 12:24 am (This post was last modified: May 4, 2020 at 12:44 am by AniKoferBo.)
(July 25, 2014 at 8:17 am)ignoramus Wrote: A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He currently asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

          The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab
and opened the door.

          The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "
          The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"
ROFLOL

London's Black cabs don't play Music  Razz
(May 3, 2020 at 8:40 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Why do kilts have buttons?

Because sheep can hear zippers at a hundred metres.

Now I know why the scottish wears kilts
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34863
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#3755
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 12:56 am
(May 4, 2020 at 12:24 am)masoni Wrote:
(July 25, 2014 at 8:17 am)ignoramus Wrote: A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He currently asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

          The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab
and opened the door.

          The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "
          The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"
ROFLOL

London's Black cabs don't play Music  Razz
(May 3, 2020 at 8:40 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Why do kilts have buttons?

Because sheep can hear zippers at a hundred metres.

Now I know why the scottish wears kilts

"Kilt"

What happens to the people who call them "skirts".
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44478
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#3756
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 4:29 am (This post was last modified: May 4, 2020 at 4:29 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
The proper response to the question, 'What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?' is 'Gie us yer hand, lassie, and we'll show ye.'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
Abaddon_ire Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 2872
Threads: 8
Joined: October 4, 2017
Reputation: 22
#3757
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 10:40 am
[Image: jZdL5El.jpg]
LOL
Find
Reply
AniKoferBo Offline
⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛
**
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 297
Threads: 7
Joined: December 20, 2013
Reputation: 6
#3758
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 12:12 pm
(May 4, 2020 at 12:56 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(May 4, 2020 at 12:24 am)masoni Wrote: London's Black cabs don't play Music  Razz

Now I know why the scottish wears kilts

"Kilt"

What happens to the people who call them "skirts".



Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30681
Threads: 2120
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#3759
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 12:19 pm (This post was last modified: May 4, 2020 at 12:20 pm by Brian37.)
Jim Carrey  is staring in "Mask 2, Attack Of The Covid-19" "SOMEBODY STOP ME!"
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9462
Threads: 20
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#3760
RE: joke time
May 4, 2020 at 1:59 pm
(May 4, 2020 at 4:29 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: The proper response to the question, 'What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?' is 'Gie us yer hand, lassie, and we'll show ye.'

Boru

The rest of it-

She pulls her hand back, quickly, "That's gruesome!"

"Aye, check it again, lassie, it's grew some more!"
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2395 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 2904 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1531 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2417 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 17421 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4380 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9090 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1924 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4558 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 2921 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)