joke time

[The Valkyrie]

I once gave up all sexual activity for the full 40 days of Lent, and it was surprisingly easy.

Just the days of Lent, mind you. For the nights of Lent, I gave up being a Samoan lumberjack.

Boru

One year, many years ago, I told my very Catholic mother that I had given up Lent for Lent.

She was not amused.

But I do it every year.

[Rhizomorph13]

I once gave up all sexual activity for the full 40 days of Lent, and it was surprisingly easy.

Just the days of Lent, mind you. For the nights of Lent, I gave up being a Samoan lumberjack.

Boru

One year, many years ago, I told my very Catholic mother that I had given up Lent for Lent.

She was not amused.

But I do it every year.

Is she, like, a Shi'ite Catholic?

[The Valkyrie]

One year, many years ago, I told my very Catholic mother that I had given up Lent for Lent.

She was not amused.

But I do it every year.

Is she, like, a Shi'ite Catholic?

No. Just a shite Catholic.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Sean and Mary had been married for 45 gloriously happy years when Sean suffered a major heart attack. He recovered, but due to his greatly weakened condition, his cardiologist told him he would have to curb his marital impulses.

‘I know you two have been very affectionate all of your married life,’ said the doctor, ‘but it is vital that you both understand this. Sexual activity places a great strain on the heart. The next sex you have could kill you, Sean. I recommend that, from now on, you sleep apart.’

Greatly saddened, the couple agreed - Mary would continue sleeping in the large bedroom upstairs, while Sean would move into the first floor guest room.

This arrangement went on for a week until one night, they passed each other on the stairs at 2:00 AM. ‘Sean Murphy!’, exclaims Mary. ‘Whatever are ye doing out of bed at this ungodly hour?’

‘Well, truth be told, luv, I was coming upstairs to commit suicide.’

‘Now that’s just as well, darlin,’ says Mary with a smile. ‘I was on me way down to murder ye.’

Boru

[Fireball]

Sean and Mary had been married for 45 gloriously happy years when Sean suffered a major heart attack. He recovered, but due to his greatly weakened condition, his cardiologist told him he would have to curb his marital impulses.

‘I know you two have been very affectionate all of your married life,’ said the doctor, ‘but it is vital that you both understand this. Sexual activity places a great strain on the heart. The next sex you have could kill you, Sean. I recommend that, from now on, you sleep apart.’

Greatly saddened, the couple agreed - Mary would continue sleeping in the large bedroom upstairs, while Sean would move into the first floor guest room.

This arrangement went on for a week until one night, they passed each other on the stairs at 2:00 AM. ‘Sean Murphy!’, exclaims Mary. ‘Whatever are ye doing out of bed at this ungodly hour?’

‘Well, truth be told, luv, I was coming upstairs to commit suicide.’

‘Now that’s just as well, darlin,’ says Mary with a smile. ‘I was on me way down to murder ye.’

Boru

I wish I'd married that gal. What a way to live and die!

[The Valkyrie]

Sean and Mary had been married for 45 gloriously happy years when Sean suffered a major heart attack. He recovered, but due to his greatly weakened condition, his cardiologist told him he would have to curb his marital impulses.

‘I know you two have been very affectionate all of your married life,’ said the doctor, ‘but it is vital that you both understand this. Sexual activity places a great strain on the heart. The next sex you have could kill you, Sean. I recommend that, from now on, you sleep apart.’

Greatly saddened, the couple agreed - Mary would continue sleeping in the large bedroom upstairs, while Sean would move into the first floor guest room.

This arrangement went on for a week until one night, they passed each other on the stairs at 2:00 AM. ‘Sean Murphy!’, exclaims Mary. ‘Whatever are ye doing out of bed at this ungodly hour?’

‘Well, truth be told, luv, I was coming upstairs to commit suicide.’

‘Now that’s just as well, darlin,’ says Mary with a smile. ‘I was on me way down to murder ye.’

Boru

I wish I'd married that gal. What a way to live and die!

If you want someone to kill you you only have to ask...




...or wait until about October 2027...


...the 5th...


...8.27 pm...

[Little lunch]

I just found out cock fighting is done with chickens.
That's two years of training I'll never get back.

[Rhondazvous]

You don't see many old women -living in shoes or elsewhere- with "so many children she doesn't know what to do."

But you do see young ones.


Once they get old - nobody wants to fuck them.


The problem sorts itself out.

Benjamin Franklyn supposedly advised young men to sow their wild oats with old women.

"They don't yell
They don't tell
T hey don't swell
And they're grateful as hell
"

[onlinebiker]

You don't see many old women -living in shoes or elsewhere- with "so many children she doesn't know what to do."

But you do see young ones.


Once they get old - nobody wants to fuck them.


The problem sorts itself out.

Benjamin Franklyn supposedly advised young men to sow their wild oats with old women.

"They don't yell
They don't tell
T hey don't swell
And they're grateful as hell
"

In 1776?

Yeah - "old" meant any woman over 30.....

[polymath257]

I just found out cock fighting is done with chickens.
That's two years of training I'll never get back.

Just become a bonobo and do some penis fencing. (look it up)