The Statistical Improbability (Just My Luck)

[onlinebiker]

Working both sides of the street again there bub...


If the biological father doesn't want the kid - why would a guy who is NOT the biological father?

Or do you just enjoy being an illogical twatwaffle?

[The Grand Nudger]

Yes, I work both sides of the street. I do this for fairness.

He's said he loves her. He's explained that he's committed. He's explained that he knew that not being able to have kids was a sacrifice...though, strangely, to him, not necessarily her......

Why, if all of that is true....would a kid be an issue? Why would he need to have legal advice for dispensing with a child. I think that he should lean in, come what may, because he sounds like the right kind of person to be a dad and to have fun doing it. That's what he's telling us, those are the facts. A child is coming no matter how it happened. Who cares whether or not some sperm donor wants a kid? What does that have to do with him? Like I said, I hope it's his....but.....it's not. If that kid is coming, he'll have to confront that too.

[Mermaid]

Oh for FUCKS SAKE.

[arewethereyet]

@wolf39us 

Curious...did you get tested after the vasectomy or did you skip that part?

I ask because I know a couple who went the vasectomy route after three kids and along came #4.  Hubby had never gone back to be tested to make sure the surgery worked properly.  It hadn't...and the kid looks just like the other three so there was never really any doubt.

Just curious about the original follow up.

As for the pregnancy...if it's yours then congratulations.  Open yourself up to the process and don't just stand by a decision you made some years ago.  If it's not yours you have some decisions to make.

Kid aversion - I suffer from that and I managed to have and raise three.  I found my aversion was mostly to babies and toddlers.  Oddly I prefer the preteen and teen years, though if I had it to do over again I would skip the having girls part and just have boys.

Keep us posted.

[onlinebiker]

Yes, I work both sides of the street.  I do this for fairness.  

He's said he loves her.  He's explained that he's committed.  He's explained that he knew that not being able to have kids was a sacrifice...though, strangely, to him, not necessarily her......

Why, if all of that is true....would a kid be an issue? Why would he need to have legal advice for dispensing with a child.  I think that he should lean in, come what may, because he sounds like the right kind of person to be a dad and to have fun doing it. That's what he's telling us, those are the facts.  A child is coming no matter how it happened.  Who cares whether or not some sperm donor wants a kid?  What does that have to do with him?  Like I said, I hope it's his....but.....it's not.  If that kid is coming, he'll have to confront that too.

If - there is another guy involved (it would be nice if there was not... A bit unexpected - but no betrayal is involved) - then she liked the guy enough to bang him..... She might still like him. How to know? You trust people who betray your trust?

She might just let you sign the birth certificate so you are stuck paying child support when she leaves you for the other guy.

Duplicitous people will do some fucked up shit.

If you haven't learned that lesson yet - you haven't been around very long.

[The Grand Nudger]

Oh no, not my moniez!

Guys looking at some tough shit, money is the least of his concerns. The money would be the easy part.

[wolf39us]

@wolf39us 

Curious...did you get tested after the vasectomy or did you skip that part?

I ask because I know a couple who went the vasectomy route after three kids and along came #4.  Hubby had never gone back to be tested to make sure the surgery worked properly.  It hadn't...and the kid looks just like the other three so there was never really any doubt.

Just curious about the original follow up.

As for the pregnancy...if it's yours then congratulations.  Open yourself up to the process and don't just stand by a decision you made some years ago.  If it's not yours you have some decisions to make.

Kid aversion - I suffer from that and I managed to have and raise three.  I found my aversion was mostly to babies and toddlers.  Oddly I prefer the preteen and teen years, though if I had it to do over again I would skip the having girls part and just have boys.

Keep us posted.

Yes I did.
Twice in fact.  Once at 3 months, once at 1 year.  Negative both times.

Ha, also, it's funny you should say that.  We are both team niña

[The Grand Nudger]

Post pics of the bouncing baby in af member photos, so we can kudos that shit.

Gratz again, dad.

[tackattack]

You love each other. You trust each other. You’re having a child that is unexpected, but you didn’t specify unwanted. All while during a pandemic, racial tensions, and house arrest. That’s some really good shit to hear and I’m happy for you. Even if u don’t like kids, they all grow up to be more like you then you’ll like to admit, so as long as you both like yourselves it’ll all be fine. I think nuggy is just being a little probitive to make sure you’re not going to be abandoning the child regardless of your feelings for the SO. I believe he and I both share a strong papa bear instinct on that.

[The Grand Nudger]

Children deserve fathers. Don't be a dad, be a father. As my boy above me mentioned, kids are more like us than we would like to admit. Project goodness. Ludicrous goodness, and in trying to be like you...your child will be better than you could have ever been. Children can be a credit to ourselves that we could never work enough to deserve.