Posts: 34804
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
145
RE: joke time
December 2, 2020 at 3:04 am
During her lifetime June had four husbands and twenty-two children.
When she died, she specified that she wanted to be buried next to her first husband.
At the funeral, her priest said, "They're finally together again."
"June and her husband?" asked the funeral director.
"Her legs," replied the priest.
Dying to live, living to die.
Posts: 1284
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation:
11
RE: joke time
December 2, 2020 at 5:28 pm
(This post was last modified: December 2, 2020 at 5:29 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(November 30, 2020 at 5:56 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (November 30, 2020 at 5:37 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: At the nursing home they give all the old dudes viagra...
It keeps them from rolling out of bed.
One of those oldies OD’d, though. Had to bury the poor fella in an open casket.
Boru
Nah. they just dug out the hole saw.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Posts: 44304
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
December 3, 2020 at 5:39 am
A recent study has indicated that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 44304
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
December 7, 2020 at 6:53 am
Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Me: I want a dragon.
Santa: Be serious.
Me: Ok, I want Donald Trump to start behaving rationally.
Santa: What colour dragon?
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 34804
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
145
RE: joke time
December 7, 2020 at 5:01 pm
(December 7, 2020 at 6:53 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Me: I want a dragon.
Santa: Be serious.
Me: Ok, I want Donald Trump to start behaving rationally.
Santa: What colour dragon?
Boru
Every time I hear a variation of that joke I'm reminded of a really old skit from a TV show.
I can't remember the show.
Billy Connolly as god and Kenny Everett as an angel.
God is deciding what shape humans will be while the angel uses a flip chart to show various designs.
God rejects them all for various reasons, including a toucan fir being "too Jewish".
The final option is Leonardo da Vinci's famous image of a human in the circle (can't remember what it's called).
But it has Barry Manilow's face.
Everyone is horrified.
God says, "Go back to the Jewish one!"
Dying to live, living to die.
Posts: 44304
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
December 8, 2020 at 2:56 pm
Abraham Lincoln hated wooden hammers so much, he tried to ban them. We know this because gave that famous speech about ‘...with mallets toward none...’.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
