joke time

[Brian37]

The best thing you can say after telling a cornball joke, whatever the context, or plot, after they roll their eyes  is "I like shiny objects."

[Darinda]

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up’, said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all, I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’

[Brian37]

Copyright...for the second time.

I hate Universal Music, they own the decades contract of most of the ABBA albums. That band is as old as the big bang (please tell me you know what sarcasm is?. I fucking hate them. Because despite all of the members of ABBA who did all the work, wrote all the songs, Universal were dicks in shutting down a not for profit radio feed which all the members of ABBA agreed to. "Waterloo Radio" now defunct, was a non profit fan based internet radio feed. The guy running it didn't make a dime. But Universal were dicks and shut him down. Why? The members of ABBA didn't have a problem with the internet feed. ABBA made all that money for 40 years for the record company. Why shouldn't they have a say?

I get copywrite when you are new. I get it when you are not big. But when you get to historical levels, and that which it is based on is not in danger of ending up on cat food, and I don't think any member of ABBA will end up on the streets, to me, it is like trying to privatize "Happy Birthday".

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Copyright...for the second time.

I hate Universal Music, they own the decades contract of most of the ABBA albums. That band is as old as the big bang (please tell me you know what sarcasm is?. I fucking hate them. Because despite all of the members of ABBA who did all the work, wrote all the songs, Universal were dicks in shutting down a not for profit radio feed which all the members of ABBA agreed to. "Waterloo Radio" now defunct, was a non profit fan based internet radio feed. The guy running it didn't make a dime. But Universal were dicks and shut him down. Why? The members of ABBA didn't have a problem with the internet feed. ABBA made all that money for 40 years for the record company. Why shouldn't they have a say?

I get copywrite when you are new. I get it when you are not big. But when you get to historical levels, and that which it is based on is not in danger of ending up on cat food, and I don't think any member of ABBA will end up on the streets, to me, it is like trying to privatize "Happy Birthday".

Why should ABBA have a say over the disposition of something they don’t own?

Boru

[Brian37]

I am aware of microwave ovens, and convection ovens, gas ovens, but what is a Beethoven?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The Institute for Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people.

Boru

[onlinebiker]

The Procrastinaters Club merting will again be postponed.

...

[Brian37]

So these three guys die and end up at the Pearly Gates waiting in line. 

St Peter walks up to the first guy and asks, "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"

First guy responds, " Well, once, but I confessed, and we made up"

St Peter looks in his book of life and responds, "At least you are being honest about it, here is a Rolls Royce, drive on through the gates."

St Peter asks the second guy "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"

The second guy responds "Well, a couple of times. I didn't tell her about the first time, but did the second time, but after that we made up."

St Peter looks in his book, "Yea, you are telling the truth, here is a VW BUG, drive on through. "

St Peter gets to the last guy, and asks "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"

Last guy responds, "Hell yea, she didn't give a fuck".

St Peter looks in his book and says "At least you are being honest about it, here is a 10 speed bicycle, peddle on through."

So a few weeks later the 3 guys run into each other in heaven, but the guy in the Rolls Royce is crying his eyes out. And the other two ask him why he is upset. He responds "I saw my wife on a skateboard yesterday.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Brutus: 'Knife day we're having.'

Caesar: 'What?''

Cassius: *desperately miming 'shut up' *

Boru

[onlinebiker]

Brutus: 'Knife day we're having.'

Caesar: 'What?''

Cassius: *desperately miming 'shut up' *

Boru

Ides see what you did there....