Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation:
13
RE: joke time
September 24, 2021 at 12:31 pm
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up’, said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all, I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’
Posts: 30739
Threads: 2127
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
September 24, 2021 at 12:41 pm
(September 24, 2021 at 11:49 am)arewethereyet Wrote: Copyright...for the second time.
I hate Universal Music, they own the decades contract of most of the ABBA albums. That band is as old as the big bang (please tell me you know what sarcasm is?. I fucking hate them. Because despite all of the members of ABBA who did all the work, wrote all the songs, Universal were dicks in shutting down a not for profit radio feed which all the members of ABBA agreed to. "Waterloo Radio" now defunct, was a non profit fan based internet radio feed. The guy running it didn't make a dime. But Universal were dicks and shut him down. Why? The members of ABBA didn't have a problem with the internet feed. ABBA made all that money for 40 years for the record company. Why shouldn't they have a say?
I get copywrite when you are new. I get it when you are not big. But when you get to historical levels, and that which it is based on is not in danger of ending up on cat food, and I don't think any member of ABBA will end up on the streets, to me, it is like trying to privatize "Happy Birthday".
Posts: 51230
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
September 24, 2021 at 12:47 pm
(September 24, 2021 at 12:41 pm)Brian37 Wrote: (September 24, 2021 at 11:49 am)arewethereyet Wrote: Copyright...for the second time.
I hate Universal Music, they own the decades contract of most of the ABBA albums. That band is as old as the big bang (please tell me you know what sarcasm is?. I fucking hate them. Because despite all of the members of ABBA who did all the work, wrote all the songs, Universal were dicks in shutting down a not for profit radio feed which all the members of ABBA agreed to. "Waterloo Radio" now defunct, was a non profit fan based internet radio feed. The guy running it didn't make a dime. But Universal were dicks and shut him down. Why? The members of ABBA didn't have a problem with the internet feed. ABBA made all that money for 40 years for the record company. Why shouldn't they have a say?
I get copywrite when you are new. I get it when you are not big. But when you get to historical levels, and that which it is based on is not in danger of ending up on cat food, and I don't think any member of ABBA will end up on the streets, to me, it is like trying to privatize "Happy Birthday".
Why should ABBA have a say over the disposition of something they don’t own?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30739
Threads: 2127
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
September 24, 2021 at 7:48 pm
I am aware of microwave ovens, and convection ovens, gas ovens, but what is a Beethoven?
Posts: 51230
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
September 25, 2021 at 4:09 am
The Institute for Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation:
17
RE: joke time
September 25, 2021 at 8:04 am
The Procrastinaters Club merting will again be postponed.
...
Posts: 30739
Threads: 2127
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
September 25, 2021 at 8:23 am
So these three guys die and end up at the Pearly Gates waiting in line.
St Peter walks up to the first guy and asks, "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"
First guy responds, " Well, once, but I confessed, and we made up"
St Peter looks in his book of life and responds, "At least you are being honest about it, here is a Rolls Royce, drive on through the gates."
St Peter asks the second guy "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"
The second guy responds "Well, a couple of times. I didn't tell her about the first time, but did the second time, but after that we made up."
St Peter looks in his book, "Yea, you are telling the truth, here is a VW BUG, drive on through. "
St Peter gets to the last guy, and asks "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"
Last guy responds, "Hell yea, she didn't give a fuck".
St Peter looks in his book and says "At least you are being honest about it, here is a 10 speed bicycle, peddle on through."
So a few weeks later the 3 guys run into each other in heaven, but the guy in the Rolls Royce is crying his eyes out. And the other two ask him why he is upset. He responds "I saw my wife on a skateboard yesterday.
Posts: 51230
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
September 26, 2021 at 4:02 am
Brutus: 'Knife day we're having.'
Caesar: 'What?''
Cassius: *desperately miming 'shut up' *
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation:
17
RE: joke time
September 26, 2021 at 8:28 am
(September 26, 2021 at 4:02 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Brutus: 'Knife day we're having.'
Caesar: 'What?''
Cassius: *desperately miming 'shut up' *
Boru
Ides see what you did there....
Posts: 1652
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation:
11
RE: joke time
September 26, 2021 at 5:56 pm
(This post was last modified: September 26, 2021 at 5:57 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(September 25, 2021 at 8:04 am)onlinebiker Wrote: The Procrastinaters Club merting will again be postponed.
...
When I was teaching high school Physics and Chem, one of my fellow science teachers posted an official-looking notice on his door that said precisely that.
Weekly, random students would stop into his classroom to ask for the rescheduled time. They were serious. Pretty clearly not AP students...
Disappointing theists since 1968!
|