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RE: joke time
April 5, 2023 at 12:25 pm
What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
April 5, 2023 at 2:55 pm
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
The guy says, “No, ma’am.”
She says, “Well, do you have any dates?”
And he says, “Ma’am, if I don’t have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?”
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RE: joke time
April 6, 2023 at 3:48 pm
(This post was last modified: April 6, 2023 at 3:49 pm by A. Secular Human.)
An elderly gentleman in a grocery store asks a perky young female clerk in a tight skirt for help getting him some bread, which is up on a high shelf.
The attractive young woman retrieves a ladder, and proceeds to climb up to the top shelf.
The old man gazes upwards, and notices that she isn't wearing any underwear.
The clerk looks down and asks "Is it raisin?"
And the old guy answers "Nope, but it's twitchin' a mite!"
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
April 7, 2023 at 10:35 pm
Since Russia won't release a New York Times journalist, it has been suggested that US authorities arrest a Russian journalist and hold him as leverage.
Now, no-one can find Tucker Carlson.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2023 at 10:44 am
“Last Sunday I found a wallet packed with money down by the church.”
“Did you give it back?”
“Not yet. I’m still trying to decide if it’s a temptation from the devil or the answer to a prayer.”
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2023 at 12:07 pm
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Push a man into an active volcano, and the sun god will ensure a bountiful harvest for all.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
April 10, 2023 at 6:56 pm
(April 10, 2023 at 12:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Push a man into an active volcano, and the sun god will ensure a bountiful harvest for all.
Boru
Or, you just drop a ring into it.
Depends on the man...
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
April 11, 2023 at 7:38 am
My doctor sent me for a prostate exam at the hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called into the office, and patiently suffered through the very personal examination.
When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked, “Who the heck was that?”
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: joke time
April 11, 2023 at 8:40 am
(April 11, 2023 at 7:38 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: My doctor sent me for a prostate exam at the hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called into the office, and patiently suffered through the very personal examination.
When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked, “Who the heck was that?”
"Tell me when you feel my finger!"
"Uh, I feel it now!"
"Look, no hands!"
I'll let you work it out..
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
April 11, 2023 at 3:48 pm
(April 11, 2023 at 8:40 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: (April 11, 2023 at 7:38 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: My doctor sent me for a prostate exam at the hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called into the office, and patiently suffered through the very personal examination.
When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked, “Who the heck was that?”
"Tell me when you feel my finger!"
"Uh, I feel it now!"
"Look, no hands!"
I'll let you work it out..
If it can pass as a finger, the Doc's partners are in for a little surprise!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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